A penny for MY thoughts?

I Will Follow

2010-12-12T00:17:00.002+08:00

All your ways are good, all your ways are sure.....

Where you go I'll go, where you stay I'll stay.....

Who you love I'll love, how you serve I'll serve.....

Light unto the world, light unto my life.....

All I need in you alone.....

In You there' life everlasting, in You there's freedom for my soul.....

I will follow.

No easy task, it seems. But then, how can I give up on the One who had never let go of me?

Writing

2010-12-08T01:00:00.003+08:00

It's already past midnight and I'm fairly certain to have caught the flu bug from someone somewhere, having been sniffing until I got that wonderful headache that comes from overdoing it. And to be honest, I should probably have gone to sleep earlier, to let the body rest up and all that. But in the spirit of the digital connectedness we've all grown so accustomed to, I decided to keep surfing for just a little while more.

My mind turned to one of the things that I used to put a fair amount of time in: my blog. I guess you know when something's going the way of the dinosaurs when you feel uncomfortable just mentioning it. Like Friendster. See, that left a nice, bitter taste in your mouth already, didn't it? :P

I kinda thought that my blog has become irrelevant. Jon was right, there was simply much more going on in real life that blogging has become inconsequential. I'm too busy living life to want to write it down for other people to see. Rudi was right, I was well on my way along his predicted 'steps-to-blog-abandonment'. Justin's right, no one ever reads my blog anymore, so why bother?

I was right, I shouldn't have bothered starting up this blog in the first place.

But (but of course) just an hour ago, I decided to revisit some of my friends' blogs and in one of them, I discovered that I had duly forgotten what I truly enjoyed out of blogging. I enjoyed the writing.

Reading my friends' musings, thoughts and the typical rants was for some reasons a strangely surprising experience. Having plowed through more academic journals in the course of my undergraduate studies than all the comic books I had ever bought (a lot), I developed a similar academic thinking style that lacked any form of emotional projections, even when squeezed to dry. Reading was for the purpose of finding important points, engaging in mental summarizing on the fly even as I could hardly understand what was being read. Thus it was a real joy to read my friend's posts and be able to glean so much more than just what was written. The way in which my friend wrote carried so many undertones and overtones of feelings, hopes, desires and dreams that I found it so wonderful to be engaged in this...this, form of communication.

Don't you think it's nothing short of astounding that the written word can embody abstract components such as feelings? The mind can work so efficiently to decode information and figure out what is being implied behind what is written, that when we are reading we actually read in our hearts with the proper intonations? Isn't it incredible that we can read text messages and say to others 'I think he sounded quite angry'? I'd like to think that many of us are simply not bothered to acknowledge the breadth of our what is really at our fingertips.

People can always go on about the superiority of a particular language and argue until their faces turn blue. If you belong to the group of people who believes that bananas like me are a shame to the Chinese people and culture, then please feel free to take a number and join the long line of others who want to stone me for it. But at the end of the day, language is for the purpose of communicating. For you to tell me how you feel. For me to tell you whether I care. Realizing again what it feels like to be able to understand a person's thoughts through the simple use of writing made me appreciate anew my ability to do the same.

If you are reading this, then I hope you caught at least a glimpse of what I was trying to get at. In terms of language competency, I have only the world ahead of me. But I relish the idea of being blessed enough to use language as a means to express myself and understand others. And at the end of it, be it English, Chinese, French, Swahili or any other language that man can articulate, the very fact that I am writing this is proof enough of just how amazing we really are as beings deemed to have risen from just accidental cosmic explosions.

Thoughts

2010-07-24T23:47:00.002+08:00

I remember the days when I used to daydream a lot, perhaps when I was around 12 or 13 years old. Getting into the car usually meant looking out at the streets and appearing to 'zone out'. I wasn't zoning out of course, but rather engaging in examining random thoughts (which is why until today I'm so bad with directions I guess: I simply never really paid attention to the roads and buildings and signs). I can't recall anything specific that I always 'daydreamed' about, but for the most part I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the process of thinking, as well as thinking about thinking.

The 21-years-old me still likes to 'daydream', but lately I realised that actually a lot of things had changed and the Internet, I believe, is the underlying cause of these changes. Daydreaming now is no longer productive in ways that it used to be. The depth of my thoughts is seemingly getting shallower and shallower. It's almost as though my attention span is so short now that it is affecting even the conversations that take place between me and myself. I can't pay attention to myself long enough anymore to truly ponder and think about...things. Anything. Everything.

I blame the Internet because...well actually, I can't give any concrete reasons. But the Internet works in such a way that in-depth information processing is usually eschewed in favor of quick and broad scans, or 'skimming'. And so it is with the thinking style that I have come to adopt. Everything that crosses my mind now is simply 'skimmed' and glossed over. Decisions are made on a whim. Actions are taken as I see fit. I have become so shallow in my thinking that the word 'thinking' itself almost does not exist anymore.

If in any way you feel that I'm becoming more and more immature, I sincerely apologize. It's been so long since I used my brain properly. Many a train of thought must have fallen into the ravines over the years, given the increasingly haphazard manner in which I think.

Now if you'll excuse me, I fear I may need to practice 'daydreaming' properly again. I shall have to do a lot more....thinking. Deep thinking, this time.

Ip Man

2010-05-06T22:28:00.002+08:00

Possible Spoilers Ahead :)

Ip Man, or otherwise known by his online person, I.P. Man; tells an amazing story in more ways than I thought the filmmakers could.

In any kung-fu flick, we all know that the hero/heroine would (eventually) beat the nonsense out of the last boss, whoever he/she may be. We have also come to expect that Chinese kung fu films would seem otherworldly if they didn't have to use the seemingly pre-packaged sound effects for punches and kicks that make them so believably satisfying. I like kung-fu films for their choreography, but with Ip Man I actually managed to see beyond the slick parrying moves and rolling punches to catch hold of what the filmmakers were really trying to express. Or at least, I think they were trying to. Makes my movie ticket much more worth it :P

Ip Man as a martial arts exponent stands for amazing because he is simply really good at it. But Ip Man as a man, on the other hand, stands for awe-inspiring because of the way that he exerts his self-control. The true mark of a man lies in self-control they say, and Ip Man showed that he has loads. Truckloads, probably. The way the film choreographers pit him against 10-20 people at the same time and yet have him show constant restraint while fighting clearly illustrates that . Many a time he would land several punches on an opponent, only to hold back when delivering the last blow in order to soften it. When he picked up knives, they were immediately turned to the relatively harmless blunt side. And even with his hardest moves, no one is really seriously injured. To me, that is the epitome of self-control: knowing how to exercise your powers and abilities with just enough conscious judgment tempered in to avoid hurting others.

He reminds me of characters like Kenshin and Superman. People who can kill in the time it takes me to blink. Both Kenshin and Superman know that they are powerful, but yet they strive very hard to never let it cloud their judgment. Too bad the same can't be said of many people in positions of power today.

In a world of relativity, Ip Man's strong personal principles offer an interesting contrast of how bad we have become at taking our stand on everyday issues like war and injustice. He stood for what he believed, and that was a stirring moment in the film for me.

Where I Might Have Been

2010-04-13T23:38:00.002+08:00

Facebook is great for looking over people's photos, whether you are stalking someone or simply curious to find out what your friends had been up to. And although pictures may not tell the whole truth, most of the times the thousand words that we can read from even the most ordinary photos can tell us a lot more than what we can ask a person. I was looking over the photos of some friends (can't say who of course) and found myself going back to a thought that I used to mull over everyday: how each of us are brought up in different environments, and how sometimes these environments can be as separate and as distinct as night and day.

Life holds so much experience and diversity that I can often spend a lot of time thinking of where I might've been in life if I had been born in a different place, or maybe born into a different race, or family background, and the list of variables flow along endlessly. Would I have had been the same? I can't tell, really. Part of me thinks that I'll still be me in terms of core personalities (such as my introvertedness). But I could be wrong. I could be a fabulous sportsman dishing out pain to state players. Or I could be the stereotypical (pardon my stereotype here if it offends you) club-goer with a tattoo of a fiery dragon up my back. I suppose I can't change what's already happened. I can't change my parents (not that I'd trade them for anything) or change my birthplace. But there are still so many things that I have yet to come across, that it now seems foolish when I think about those moments when I used to feel apathetic or pessimistic (or both) about life.

Some people like change in their lives. Some of my friends no doubt had undergone or is undergoing heaps of change, and seem to be perfectly fine with it. Me? I don't know...I can't say I like to live an unpredictable life, being bombed while having dinner or something to that effect. I want to experience change, but yet I know that change can be both good and bad, pleasant and unpleasant. And so I'm hesitant I guess.

How strange actually, that even though I'm not born with any physical disabilities or serious mental retardation (maybe got, but I wouldn't know), I can still feel very much crippled at times. Crippled by my thinking, my emotions, my expectations. Life is brilliant like that I suppose.

Visual Spectacle

2010-01-23T07:40:00.002+08:00

Yes, Avatar looked pretty. Half-a-billion dollars prettier than your standard films, in fact. But sorry Pandora, there's still nothing that beats waking up to the awe-inspiring morning skies here on good ol' earth. There's simply nothing that captivates me like the coat of blue on top of our heads that we often take for granted. No amount of visual reproduction in any resolution of pixels would ever match the astounding beauty of the giant canvass that the Almighty masterfully paints on.

Sky lovers, unite!

What This Is For

2009-12-28T20:53:00.002+08:00

Time and again I had to ask myself if it's still worth keeping this blog alive. And for many of you who still bother to visit, you'd be perfectly forgiven to think that I'm just too phlegmatic to make any real decisions, and thus should be hung in the gallows of uncertainty and indecision. But please read with me through this one last post first before you do so :)

Hands up everyone out there who thinks that blogs are nothing more than avenues to win prizes these days. You see, I've grown disenchanted with the idea of having a blog, because social marketers were too quick to catch on with the idea of being able to disseminate free publicity without so much as to type out the word 'Contest'. I could see that as Marketing went up, Intimacy went down. Intimacy in the sense that you've actually put thought into your posts, in the sense that you mean what you say, in the sense that you are saying what you mean.

Oops, hold back your scorn for me first if I had offended you within just the first two paragraphs. I understand that I have no right to criticize what others choose to do with their own blogs, and I just want to make it clear that I'm not trying to diss anyone here. I'm merely making an observation, and whatever meaning you choose to read from these few lines is your own discretion.

Now if your hands are still up, you can put them down. Like I said, I could not see anymore reason to want to continue keeping this blog in existence. I don't post anything substantial anymore anyway, I thought to myself. But then I also realized that I don't always have to move along with the herd. The reason I got so bogged down was that I tried to write what others would want to read, and that probably gnawed away at my own intrinsic motivation to update the blog over time. I pondered about what the blog could be used for, and felt that it can still provide me with a means of self-reflection in reading over my own posts. And this self-reflection is unique because others can share in it.

So this blog would stay. If you had been reading from time to time, then by all means you're more than welcome to continue doing so. I appreciate your comments, and if it still applies I wish you a blessed and merry Christmas along with the customary Happy New Year :)

Learning

2009-11-29T21:55:00.004+08:00

Would people still bother to learn if there were no exams to work toward?

When you motivate a person with monetary or material rewards, what usually happens is that the intrinsic motivation would soon be lost. Artists who are paid to paint all the time might lose their natural inclinations in producing art pieces over time. Psychologists know this well, and suggest using non-material rewards such as praises to avoid corroding a person's intrinsic motivation to perform a task.

And exams, if you ask me, totally kill our intrinsic motivation to learn.

Okaylah, that's me being overdramatic again, but looking at all the other students nerding in college today staring blankly at their notes (like me) trying to memorise some facts to prove that they know something (like me) kinda gives me the feeling that the real true value of learning is lost in the education system.

I count our ability to learn as the one of the most profound skills we have, mediated by a dazzling array of neurons and countless electro-chemical reactions within the little organ that we call the brain. But to spend all our neural computing power on memorising pseudo-facts (things scientists aren't even sure themselves) seem a little....illogical, to me. Learning is an amazing process. But I feel that learning in our real-world context falls a wee bit short of that ideal.

Yeap, we're not perfect all right.

Peace Where We Are

2009-11-08T22:27:00.002+08:00

Standing next to my car sipping while sipping on a can of soya after filling in some gas at slightly past midnight, the quiet 'suasana malam' made a for a great opportunity to just stand back and enjoy the peace and quiet. Made for a great opportunity to be robbed too I'm sure, standing there at the petrol station in the middle of the night, haha. But I wasn't, thankfully.

Amidst the stillness, it is quite hard to imagine what life would be a little bit farther from home. I looked at the buildings around, thinking if they would suddenly be bombed. I glanced across the streets, worried if armed bandits would ride past and shoot me.

I continued drinking, and thoroughly soaked in the night scene. The peace we have that we don't realize...

And the picture? It's Peace, Where We Are :)

Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs

2009-10-27T23:46:00.003+08:00

The less you know, the better :)

If you're thinking of something to watch at the cinema sometime soon, or not-so-soon, then here's a suggestion:

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs!

There, no unnecessary expectation build-ups, haha.

Hope you enjoy it.

How Little We Know

2009-10-11T23:21:00.002+08:00

Every year brings with it new discoveries in our knowledge of the world.

A physicist figures out how to split new particles from presently split particles. A chemist concocts a brand new chemical with the most dazzling of effects. A biologist uncovers new swathes of genes responsible for causing obesity.

For the most part I feel that we're living in pretty modern times. Modern in the sense that we are in control of the world, we're grasping it bit by bit and we're bound to unravel all there is unravel. I mean, we have planes, rockets, cars and boats to traverse the landscape in all three dimensions. That's modern right? We have the Internet, Facebook. That's gotta be modern right? We're advancing so much that the polar ice caps are melting. Please tell me that's us being modern, not the polar bears.

But really, at the end of the day I can't help but to realize that everything we know about science and technology is only what we think we know. Our knowledge are no more than careful assumptions about how things work, tested through experiments and proven by logic. Which means we'll never be 100% sure of ourselves. At least these were some of the things that ran through my mind as I read Newsweek's recent article on cancer.

As much as we have progressed in the last few thousands of years, the living bodies in which we inhabit still prove to be the most challenging mystery yet to solve. Being alive is something that I believe we will never be able to fully comprehend. Words cannot explain it, pictures cannot illustrate it. Alive. Almost like magic, but far greater. How much do we really know then?

I am a living person. Can someone please tell me who designed me?

September

2009-09-26T16:18:00.003+08:00

Ask me which month of the year is my favourite, and...well, you probably wouldn't ask me such a question in the first place because there's only really one answer :)

If you've ever wondered about the famous historical figures who were born in September, then here's a quick list of them: Justina Lee, Kee Ken Fong, Simon Sim, Kee Ken's Mum, Kat Tan and...the names just keep rolling.

Okay, so maybe I'm not that great a person yet to be considered famous and historical. But the rest of them would definitely be somebody in the future, trust me.

Sometimes I wonder if birthdays were just another convenient excuse for us to celebrate and buy something for one another. If you ask me, my birthday wasn't any different from the other days of the year. The moon came up as usual, the sun was still yellow, 24-hours still weren't enough for me....same ol' same ol'. But beyond that conventional consumerist thinking, I appreciate being that little bit more special for a day. I appreciate every gesture and present, every wall post and personal wish.

Alas, it is always harder to show genuine appreciation than to buy an expensive present for someone. So in case you're wondering, then yes, I appreciate it very much, thank you :)

What more could I ask for? It's Cyclops! Glowing eyes would've been uber-cool, but I guess I don't need a hole in my roof just yet.

An empty Baskin-Robbins cup! Well, it wasn't empty when I got it of course, but that 'problem' was easily rectified in 2 minutes ;)

And the picture at the top of this post? By their powers combined, THIS is what they materialize into, tada~. I didn't use the mug yet though, so I'll try again sometime. Thanks for all the presents and meals and wishes people! (^.^)v

For Simon

2009-09-11T21:30:00.005+08:00

Don't know if they've released it in NZ yet, Mr. Sim, but here's a shot of the game that I just happily squandered two whole hours on xD

1:07

2009-09-09T01:06:00.004+08:00

Amidst all the brouhaha of the blogs (the three blogs that I read) suddenly firing up again after an unexpected burst-forth-from-the-ground moment from Sim's Xanga page, I found myself in the middle of the blogging scene again. Funny how I literally 'think the world' of just these three people :)

Which is why it's 1 a.m. now, and I'm not asleep yet but instead in this blogspot post editor.

A lot of things that didn't make it to the posting page such as the travel-cations I had a month back probably never would I guess. Langkawi and Perhentian was great though, I certainly found the vacations to be a wonderful experience.

But I'm hoping that I would have more time to sit down and write some meatier stuff in the future. Not that I was any good a writer to begin with, but I think I can still come up with the occasional good post or two. Or at least I hope so :)

Bloom, ye dead blogs, bloom!

Kantoi...

2009-08-30T22:37:00.003+08:00

....would be the word to describe my blog in its current state. Or perhaps even the blogging scene in general, since practically the whole world has stopped blogging of late ('whole world' being the four blogs that I always visit). It's bad when you have nothing to write about, but it probably says a lot about whether you should continue blogging when you can actually no longer remember why you started blogging in the first place.

"A penny for MY thoughts"???

Suddenly, even the blog name was beginning to sound awful. Lousy. Self-centred. Pompous. Nonsense, as I would say it.

And my layout...fuh! Drab. Boring. Same-ol same-ol. Nonsense, as I would say it.

Cbox's been dead since the last world war. The updates sidebar is becoming more and more pathetic.

Isn't it time to close this down, and just get on with life?

Hurm.............................

Hurm.........................................................

Nope. Not just yet :)

When in doubt, post lyrics...

2009-08-12T22:22:00.002+08:00

Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you
And maybe turning my back would be that much easier
Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange
But I can't watch you walk away

Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you?
And all about the good times that we've been through
Could I wake up without you every day?
Would I let you walk away?

No, I can't learn to live without
And I can't give up on us now

[Chorus]
Oh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
A promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?
And all the reasons that make loving you so easy
The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe
The way you know just what I mean

No, I can't learn to live without
Ohh, so don't you give up on us now

Ohh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
A promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Ohh, and I don't wanna try

Ohhhh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
A promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

I just can't live a lie

But even if I made a vow
A promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Oh, I cant live a lie [x2]

It's nice to be little dramatic sometimes, haha. I really like the song though. Go Carrie!

And my blog is officially on life support now....

grins

2009-07-28T00:29:00.003+08:00

I don't know about you guys, but of all the different Facebook invites I get (Save the Trees, Stop Pollution, Eat Less Meat, Etc Etc), THIS one definitely takes the cake for being the funniest xD

Glo Taiping: Of Peace and Mosquitoes

2009-07-26T22:35:00.006+08:00

NOTE: I've always chosen to write about any holidays, trips or experiences based on the gists of the main ideas that I want to convey, and hardly would I take the trouble to write in the form of literal documentary-style accounts. But the purpose of this post is to give some publicity to Glo (Gospel Literature Outreach)'s training school in Taiping, so I tried to be as informative as possible in providing an introduction to those who have not heard of Glo or have absolutely no clues regarding what it is all about, like me. In case you're confused by my mix-up of past and present tenses, I purposely used a lot of present tenses in the descriptions, in order to avoid sounding like a diary entry. Finally, if you're used to my usual short, nondescript posts, then chances are you would label this as 'boring'. So there, read at your own discretion :)

To say that the Residential Bible School in Cameron Highlands, or more popularly known for its endearing acronym RBS is interesting would be an understatement in many ways. I honestly believe that RBS holds a permanent special place in the hearts of most, if not all the students who signed up for it, be it for the quirky friends made, the insurmountable challenges waded, or the surprising emotional breaches.

But what I didn't realize was that RBS wasn't the only avenue available to pursue spiritual growth. It's a great avenue, no doubt, but there are other options that I never thought of exploring before. One such option, which I faintly remember hearing about before, is the Glo school (there's something about three-letter acronyms...). Located in Taiping, an idyllic town about 2 and a half hour's drive from Subang, the Glo school in Taiping is basically RBS without the cold air, and also the time limitation. Classes take place the whole year round I believe (correct me if I'm wrong), and the different modules usually last a week, or maybe two sometimes.

The way the modules are conducted is through various speakers invited from all around the country, or from other countries even. It just so happened that one of the elders of my church was invited to teach for last week, and he invited me to come along and see for myself what Glo was all about. Together with Crissy, a fellow bummer at the moment, we set off for 5 days of 'studying' in Taiping.

Arriving there, the Glo 'school' is actually a church compound located next to a government school, and in the same compound there is a tadika called Tadika Marks. So yes, in the mornings there would be the principal's blabbering about discipline booming over the school's speakers AND chirpy kindergarten songs playing together at the same time. But it's a pretty spacious place, with a nice spot just for swings. For the children I guess. And for you to sit down and chat.

But the aural entertainment aside, the living quarters for students basically looks like this:

It's a wooden bungalow in the style of traditional malay houses, and it has four separate rooms for the guys and gals. Not bad actually; plus there's always that rustic charm about wooden abodes.

Mornings begin with personal devotion, and then group sharing of individual devotional insights and thoughts. After breakfast, classes would then commence. The classes are conducted in the church building's top room near the roof...or attic, I believe that's what it's called. Fairly comfortable setting, with the usual flip-table chairs and cozy air-conditioning. There's classes until lunch time, and depending on the teacher/lecturer, afternoon slots and night slots are available for additional classes as well. Otherwise, it would be free time to work on assignments.

Now I feel that special mention should be given to the unusually rabid mosquitoes that seem to have taken control of Taiping. I find them uncannily similar to thugs who would go the extra mile to harass you for protection money. In this case, they're trained specifically to rob you of your sleep. I didn't know better, so on the first night I just hit the bunks a la carte. Since I was the only one in the room (there were no other temporary male students last week), I chose a luxurious wall-side lower bunk (all the beds are double-decker). Washed my face, brushed my teeth, yada-yada and then I dived into the blanket to catch some Zs.

Only thing is, I never caught any.

The thing is, sometimes when even one stray mosquito slips into my room, I usually end up with very little sleep. On the first night in Taiping however, I killed at least 9 of them. 9!!!! And still the buzzing-in-the-ear didn't stop. By my calculations, the total of numbers of sleep I had on the first night was probably around -4 hours...

PLEASE ask about what you should do before sleeping, if you're planning to attend Glo for whatever reason.

The gripes about mosquitoes aside, I feel that Glo has something very different to offer, in terms of spiritual training, and buffing up your biblical knowledge. Comparing it with RBS (the only yardstick I can think of at the moment), Glo is....a different thing altogether. Whereas RBS is confined to specific times of the year, Glo simply goes on week after week and there is plenty of room for you to decide if you just want to check out a particular module or put on the headband of determination and sign up for a full year there.

Glo also doesn't enforce no-electronic-device rules, and you can bring laptops even. You have full responsibility for how you wish to make use of your gadgets. I guess you're treated more as an independent 'adult' compared to RBS. From conversations with the others who had been there before (and now comes back to Glo regularly as a sort of retreat), there's certainly no shortage of practical exercises and responsibilities to take up, from chairing the weekly Prayer Meetings, to helping out with the kindergarten's Chapel Service. And you need to know your Scriptures well, if you are to keep up with the more in-depth classes.

Though my trip there was cut short due to a sudden turn of events, Glo was truly and honestly eventful and meaningful to me. The company alone was already half the fun, and I was pretty thankful for the seemingly chance encounter. To be honest, it all seems like a lot of hard work, but I personally think that Glo presents a strikingly unique opportunity to take your faith seriously, and take it further.

A handy brochure that tells you more about Glo can be found at http://www.thelifechapel.org/media/GLO%20Leaflet%2009_final.pdf

Ownership

2009-07-25T22:10:00.002+08:00

Just because you stuck your label on something, doesn't necessarily mean it's yours.

The oddest feeling it seems, is to realize that you actually didn't know yourself all that well.

Odder even, when you didn't realize you had stuck any sort of labels in the first place.

This shouldn't make sense to you. I certainly hope not :)

Hurm

2009-07-07T22:10:00.003+08:00

We have blogs, and we have twitter. And perhaps, the next social-communication breakthrough is just around the corner. But I'd like to think that our most basic desire to have face-to-face communications will probably not ever diminish. Static texts on the computer screen don't tell us half the story that could otherwise be gleaned from things like tone of voice, facial expressions, body language and all the various non-verbal cues that allow us to say so little and yet mean so much.

Which would explain why the Tanjong Mamak Bistro near my house had been jam-packed full of people the last few times I went there.

Don't know why I'm posting about this though. Maybe it's because....I'm wishing there's someone who is intimately familiar with all my thoughts, all my wants, my hurts and needs and failures that I could just chat the night away with.

Nah, not a girlfriend.

Just sort of imagining God in person doing some pillow talk with me :)

What a random post.

Windows 7 for a Song!

2009-06-26T17:19:00.002+08:00

Not exactly a song lah, but close xD

Windows 7 Home Premium is now (right now as in today, 26th June) available for only 50 USD as an upgrade!!! That's about err...only RM 175! I've been trying out the beta version for quite some time, and I love what they've done to it after how thousands and thousands of customers had relentlessly bashed Vista and all its shortcomings. For 200 bucks, I'd seriously consider going for the upgrade and join the other early adopters :D

Unfortunately the offer's only available in the US and some other countries for now....shipping it back to Malaysia would take extra time, and not to mention money. But the huge discount of 70 USD is almost too hard to pass up. Aih, how now.... :P

If you wanna check it out for yourself, simply head over to Amazon and see what the Home Premium version offers, as compared to the other version on offer also, Windows 7 Professional. Sure hope Windows 7 is worth the money this time :)

128 GB

2009-06-23T09:19:00.003+08:00

If you haven't found out yet, not too long ago Kingston just announced their new line-up of USB drives sporting a new design and colour scheme. While they've been constantly doing this 'new look' thing for as long as there had been pen-drives on the market, this time around they've pushed the capacities all the way up to....err, (tapping at the calculator...) almost two-months' worth of non-stop music! Plug this into cars with USB playback audio systems and there's no need for the radio ever again, haha.

Picture above taken from hardwarecanucks.com.

Blogging

2009-06-20T19:15:00.002+08:00

Blogging seems to have taken a backseat for the last month, which is usually indicative of a relatively boring day-to-day routine. Ironically though, the last month had actually been a period of many blog-worthy activities, from late-night Street Fighter gaming parties to driving a new car around the town and impressing my friends with it :)

Every day when I check back on my blog, I'd feel like updating but then pause for a moment and then in the end decide to do otherwise. Nothing to update? No, I've got plenty to write about. But just that I felt like not sharing what I had been doing, to kind of make those memories a little bit more valuable, instead of just public information available on the Web.

But if I keep this up, then I might as well shut the blog down, I thought.

So I tried to rationalize with myself, and mentally go over reasons to continue blogging. I was pretty blank for the most part. Then I tried to invoke more reasons to necessitate pulling the plug on this blog that I had spent several years on. Blank again, unfortunately.

And it's a tie, I thought.

Ever too often I get myself into the whole 'Why did I start blogging in the first place' dilemma that is never definitively answered and waste time thinking about blogging instead of doing some actual blogging. I'm a lazy person unfortunately when it comes to weighing pros and cons and all that jazz, so I've decided that I should stop thinking so much and going nowhere with the thoughts. And just keep the blog here and post whenever I want to.

Time for More

2009-05-25T00:09:00.002+08:00

Quite a few things had taken hold of my time the last few days, but thankfully they're mostly positive.

Time-management had never been more intricate and nerve-wrecking for me, and I honestly had a lot of moments when I realized that I lost a lot of precious time doing nothing of benefit. I had to own up to the lost productivity and pay for all the times I slacked off, making the past few weeks a bit more tense and straining than usual.

But like I always say, "Oh well".

It's really funny then, that right now I suddenly have so many good things on my hands that I could blog about. Then again, I believe that I've always had a lot of good things to talk about. Just that I don't realise it. Life here on earth is way too distracting most of the time, and I had forgotten what it means to constantly see things from different perspectives. I got lazy over the years and lost touch with the flexibility in looking at life that I used to pride myself on. It's so much easier to just stick to one way of looking at things, I had to admit.

Instead of not having enough time to do what I wanted to, I never saw the lack of excess time allowance as a means of learning to make better use of what I do have. One hour can be spent doing nothing, or spent doing many things in one go. The lazy person in me would happily sit out and read newspapers whole day long, but there's so much more that can be accomplished when you find the correct way to focus on the tasks at hand.

For more than one reason, the next two weeks is gonna be an interesting one. Something really bad could happen. Catastrophic. Or I could also be having the time of my life. Ecstatic. Hurm....

Oh well.

Guess I'll just have to learn as I go along, no matter what happens :)

Streamyx Can Do Better

2009-05-19T23:29:00.002+08:00

Currently paying about RM 80 every single month to the ONLY landline broadband provider around (I think), it is disappointing that I am stuck with a tricycle's equivalent of Internet speed almost every night..and afternoon, and evenings too. And sometimes mor....ah, sorry, I meant to say ALL THE TIME!!

I know many third-world countries don't have Internet access yet even. I know we are lucky to have such a kind Internet Service Provider who doesn't go after the pirates. I know we shouldn't compare, and instead count our bountiful telecommunication blessings, that we don't have to travel 10 miles to the nearest post office just to send a telegram (which is still being used, apparently).

But this is just sad.

What Streamyx is doing now is akin to trying to simultaneously water 5 different gardens all at once using just one thin pipe, so to speak. The end result is of course every garden getting only an IOTA (very very small amount) of water, and the plants are just happily wilting away. I know I'm wilting away here trying to download a perfectly legal file from overseas servers. Pretty sure I'd make better progress trying to figure out the secrets to time traveling...

Surely the behemoth of telecommunications in Malaysia can stretch its muscles a bit more and try to provide better service for us wanting citizens...personally, I'm just sick of big government-backed corporations like Telekom becoming overly complacent with itself, merrily lazing around and putting the nation's resources to waste.

At present, I get the impression that as customers who contribute to their war chests, we're being treated more like liabilities. It's almost as if we're being a burden to them. Oh poor Streamyx, it's internet lines are so congested by us free-loading good-for-nothing consumers. I hope they're not too exhausted from trying to provide decent Internet access to the lowlies and insignificants like us.

Come on Telekom, you can do better than this.

The Incessant Whiner

2009-05-11T17:55:00.003+08:00

The phrase about pastures always being greener on other peoples' lawns has been ringing louder and louder lately.

This semester of my studies, I realized that I've been complaining about a hundred and one things. Oh wait, I actually think it would be more accurate to say a thousand and one things instead. When you yourself realize that you are being...err, snobbish, for example, then it usually means that you really are a snob, because the hardest person to evaluate is always yourself. So when I started noticing that I was constantly on WHINE mode, I discovered the unpleasant prospect of me having turned into the modern-day whine-addict who's never satisfied with what's going on in life.

I don't think I'd need to give any sort of examples here, since those of you who see me regularly would likely have heard about my long list of complaints some time in the last 3 or 4 months. Now that I think about it, I don't remember any recent conversations in which I made any efforts to refrain from whining. Not at all.

And funnily enough, I had initially wanted to post about my busy timetable, the deluge of assignments, the nonsensical happenings and all the other bla bla bla idontlikethisidontlikethat complaints that I had been sharing with everyone else. But I figure you guys already have enough negative stories to chew on in your own lives.

Not that I'll only be posting about happy-happy-I-won-the-lottery sort of things from now on, but I'd like to stop bathing in my own negativity and enjoy what I have right here, right now. And indeed I actually have plenty to be thankful for. Sure, the fan at my house is suddenly dead and the weather is so darned hot and all, but at the same time there's also tonnes of other things to smile about that often get lost in the eat-sleep-then-eat-again cycles that we have to plow through everyday.

The big events, the small gestures, they all count towards this life that I'm happy to live right now. Call me naive, but I love the fact that I am alive and well, imperfect as the world may be that we inhabit.

I'll end the post with a picture of this girl whose smile is so radiant, and so magical that most, if not all members of the male population would instantly be reduced to a melting pool of goo had they seen it for themselves :P

It's a What??

2009-04-24T18:02:00.004+08:00

After an exhaustive list of answers from people who are in the arts field, the science field, the hospitality field and even the pre-U field, it's certainly interesting to take note of how people in different fields of study think. But that aside, I guess it's finally time to announce the winner of the 'Guess what the heck is this' contest. Congratulations to Mr. Low!

I know a fire extinguisher when I see one! :-D - Iishan Low

The Great Escapade: My Fun Travel with MAS!

2009-04-21T20:01:00.008+08:00

When I was much younger, taking a flight used to seem like a really big affair. And a big hassle too, along with a big price tag. Sure it's a whole lot faster, but my dad wasn't in the money-printing business unfortunately. So I always settled for a bus ride, or if I'm lucky maybe I'd travel by car, between my hometown in Kuantan and visiting my cousins who are in Subang Jaya, Selangor. I always thought that it would be great if one day I could move down and stay in Subang Jaya too near my cousins, because Subang looked like a really nice place. More maju lah, I guess, compared to Kuantan, haha.

Years went by, and funnily enough my entire family did move down to Subang after all and here I am, a resident here in Selangor for more than 4 years already. Now it's the other way round, because I take bus or car rides back to Kuantan instead. But still, I can't fly home on a nice aeroplane. Fares had come down a lot since 'Low-cost-carrier' became a magic word of sorts for avid travellers, but the often-heard horror-stories of delayed flights and less-than-desirable service kept me from flying back home.

Just last week though, something interesting happened. I had been following on MAS's new promotions for a while and while surfing at college I bumped into the Grab-A-Deal section in their site, and out of curiosity I tried to look for a Kuantan-KL flight offer. The price was unbelievable, I had to admit. I was staring at the screen for quite some time...

...and after 15 minutes, I actually bought three tickets back to home! I've never been so impulsive, but I certainly didn't regret making that decision. The retreat back to Kuantan was definitely refreshing, and I had a great time catching up with relatives.

Thanks to MAS, I'm really happy to have had the chance to go back to my birthplace and relive the good ol' days. But even better was the equally affordable flight back to Subang, which I managed to snag under the Balik Kampung deal. Altogether our flight back home was certainly a lot cheaper than I what I imagined it to be. Coupled with the nice service and pretty good-spirited staff of the airline, the trip back to Kuantan was nothing short of a blast, to say the least.

The most memorable part was no doubt having the chance to savour all the good food that I've been missing and wanting all this while. My stomach had its share alright, and the bulge is testament to my quest in reclaiming all the gastronomic delights that have eluded me since I moved down to Subang :D

I really had fun. Really, really had a lot of fun. So much fun that I was in tears on the way back, haha. I'll miss the place...

But the best thing I've heard this year so far just came an hour ago. One of my friend who's studying in the UK now just popped an awesome surprise on me that I'm getting a sponsored flight to London for a mini-holiday with him!! Turns out the mother bought MHFlex tickets which allows her to bring along a companion for FREE and since the father happened to be busy, she graciously invited ME along! Yes!!! I've even started packing already, haha. London, here I come!!

And what can I say but Man, that was great - this truly is the time to travel!!

What Does This Look Like?

2009-04-10T19:59:00.000+08:00

My long break from posting aside, I recently went back to my father's birthplace for the annual ancestral visit. Tucked away in the hills of Pahang, and a short drive away from Kuantan is a place called Sungai Lembing. If you think it's another dead-end town with nothing but old shops and old people, then you are...uh, correct, actually. But not entirely true also, because Sungai Lembing used to be a thriving and lively mining town with populations numbering close to 10,000. Here we have one of the deepest underground tin mines in the world, so it may be old but back then used to have lots of glory to bask in.

A visit to the museum there nabbed me plenty of shots of the various equipments and tools they used in those tin mine eras. To spruce up my viewership (which has been nothing more than 10 views a day) a little, I thought of posting this:

On display right outside the museum, this nifty little cannon of sorts is one of the equipments that survived the long boring years that passed since the last mines were closed down.

Take a shot and tell me what this is, and win an exciting 4-day trip to the next FormulaOne race in....ah well, you know the drill. *cough*smallpresent*cough* First to comment with the correct answer wins!

And only one answer per person! :D

This contest is open only for people who qualify at least as my 2nd-degree friend. The prize will be announced after the winner is found and details for delivery will be negotiated at a time after that. For details regarding degrees of friendship, please refer to Friendster.com.

Sometimes I Forget

2009-03-24T01:27:00.003+08:00

I don't have the best of memory, and oftentimes I forget things that I thought were otherwise 'unforgettable', so to speak. I can blame it on college, genetics, environment and a plethora of other factors but ultimately, forgetting is forgetting.

Yesterday was the birthday of a friend who is now studying under the brilliant UK education system that we always talk and gush about. I'm not quite sure how I forgot about it, perhaps it was the new semester. Or the Easter practices. But oh well, never too late if I follow the Chinese calendar I guess.

Happy Chinese Calendar Birthday man :P

Help, MSN is Gonna Charge You Money.

2009-03-18T21:19:00.003+08:00

Just today, I got this urgent-sounding email from Tara and John who are supposedly the directors of MSN. That made me feel somewhat important, and since this one was linked to a real piece of news in the BBC website, it's gotta be *cough* real *cough*, I thought. All the 4000+ similar emails I received in he past certainly sounded dubious in comparison to this one.

This is Tara and John, the directors of MSN. We would like to sincerely apologize for the interruption, but msn is closing down. We know many of these messages have been sent out lately, and that they wouldn't be true. However, this one is in fact true, and it will occur soon.

MSN will begin to charge you money soon. This is due to the fact that too many inconsiderate people are taking up all the names (ie. making up lots of different accounts for just one person). Therefore, we only have 578 names left. If you would like to close your account, DO NOT SEND THIS MESSAGE ON. We would not reccommend this, because if in the future you'd like to use MSN, and you don't send this message on, you will be CHARGED to use MSN monthly. If you would like to keep your account, then SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE ON YOUR CONTACT LIST. As we said this before, this is no joke, and we will be shutting down the servers. Please send it on. We do not want to be receiving phone calls stating that your MSN will not open, or that you are being charged for using it - because this will be your fauly for not sending it on. The estimated cost for MSN monthly will be about ten dollars CAN.

SEND THIS TO EVERYONE ON YOUR CONTACT LIST. NOW YOU
KNOW WHAT TO DO.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR
ATTENTION. In case you believed this is yet another of those 'prank' MSN shut down emails, go to:

http://news. bbc.co.uk/ 1/hi/business/ 1189119.stm

Once you've sent this message to at least 18 contacts, your msn icon will become blue.

Regards,
Tara and John
(Directors and Operators of MSN.com, Hotmail, Windows Live Hotmail, etc)

A lot of nice emails get forwarded around, and I know some of you make it a point to read every single forwarded email so that you can share the great pictures, stories and jokes with others. But I've never been too fond of pointless emails like the one above. If this was meant as a joke, then kudos to those who started the chain for wasting people's time, money and electricity around the world.

Anyway, I better forwarding the email so that I can continue using MSN when Tara and John finally decide to begin charging us. Otherwise, my face might turn blue when I find out that my account's been closed :P

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron

2009-03-16T14:28:00.005+08:00

7 years ago before Shrek 2 and a host of other animations from the same animation company made their way to the cinemas, Dreamworks released an animation that went by the title of Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron.

Now back then when I saw the promotional posters and videos, I thought it wasn't much of an animation. I remember how terrible Disney's Dinosours looked, so I cleverly avoided Spirit and watched other movies instead.

A few years down the road, sitting at home one night I was surprised to find Spirit showing on local tv. Curious to see what I had missed out on, I decided to give it a chance and see if it was as lousy as I thought it was.

For one, Spirit had no talking animals. No talking sidekicks, no talking ogres and talking what-nots. The show featured only horses that neighed on and on, and unless you spoke Bahasa Kuda, you would likely find it to either be weird or just downright annoying. Couple that with Dreamworks' decision to blend traditional hand-drawings with 3D instead of applying full CGI glory like it did with Shrek, it's not too hard to see why some reviewers happily laid waste to Spirit.

16 / Portland Oregonian / Shawn Levy
The animation is dull, the thought is fuzzy, the storytelling is vague and the music just plain stinks.

But at the end of the show, I was pleasantly surprised to find that Spirit was actually a pretty good movie. I don't know what was wrong with Shawn Levy, because I honestly thought that Spirit scored really well in many areas. Entertaining, exciting, riveting, and yet brilliantly contemplative all the way. In short, I liked it!

Problem is, I haven't yet heard of anyone else who's actually fond of the show. Which is why I thought of putting up this post, to see if there's anyone else out there who had seen the entire show and thinks it's a great piece of animation too. Anybody??

Or am I indeed one of the few oddballs in the world who actually found a liking to Spirit? :D

In Comparison

2009-03-13T13:07:00.004+08:00

I remember how my dad always told us that when he was in his late teens, KFC was a sort of luxury eat-out place that was way way way more expensive than other normal restaurants. Back in those days, you wouldn't have gone to Kentucky just to get a free Chicky Meal toy or a fancy plastic container, unless you (or your father) owned a rubber plantation or two.

Of course, times have changed and now KFC is just another regular makan place offering the same tried-and-true wholesome family meals that we all grew up with. What's different now however, is that food in ordinary chap fan restaurants have steadily gotten more expensive, and interestingly enough it seems that right now it's most likely cheaper to have lunch at KFC than anywhere else outside.

This is taking into account all the promotions KFC had been churning out of late :

Don't look at Set D, Colonel Burger's only for small children and people with half a stomach xD But check out Set A instead.

Just this afternoon, I had lunch at SS 14. I ordered chap fan, with one piece of fried chicken and and an egg dish. That's all. *kaching* and I was RM 4.50 poorer. Sat down, ordered teh ais, *kaching* and I lost another RM 1.70. Total spent was actually RM 6.20 for lunch today. In a hot restaurant.

In comparison, if I ordered Set A at KFC instead, I would have had the same sort of food, had a drink, and have a nice air-con place to enjoy my food, all at only RM 6.00!

And even McD offers the same price for its value meals now.

I guess when the economic recession hits us in full force, we'll know which two places to go to for lunch :P

What I Wouldn't Mind Doing

2009-03-01T18:17:00.003+08:00

It would've been too long to put as the title for this post, so I had to shorten it from the original "What I Wouldn't Mind Doing After I Graduate". This, of course pertains to the degree in Psychology that I hope to procure from Sunway in two years' time. A good number of people have left me either befuddled or confounded or both when they ask the inevitable "So what do you do one ah?" question. I'll admit the shoulder shrugs were honest because it's pretty hard to pick out some good contoh-contoh aktiviti at a moment's notice, but here's one pretty interesting example of what people in my field of study do for a living.

Taken from Newsweek, an article titled IN OUR NATURE described, among others, the work of environmental psychologist Peter Kahn in finding out how nature and high-definition digital representations of nature influence our levels of motivation.

In one of his experiments, the researchers used High-Definition Plasma TVs to act as digital 'windows' in workers' otherwise windowless rooms and spaces. Then they proceeded to monitor various psychological functions and measures. The result? Simply having digital views of the great mountain ranges and lush rolling plains, even though only in digital form, improved the workers' general mental well-being. Cool huh?

Then they went further on to compare HDTV nature and real mother nature. When given a small stress load, workers having HDTV windows reported no differences compared to those given a blank wall. But those who were given real, authentic windows with a natural setting reported a calming effect that helped to ease the stress load. Double coolness, I thought :D

The proposed theory by Marc Berman, another psychologist is that our brains engage in two forms of information processing.

One is the Focus Mode whereby we delegate a lot of thoughts and effort to analytical information processing, much like the kind of attention we need to solve a mathematical problem or figure out the tax-submission procedures. We can't stay on Focus Mode all the time however, and relaxing interactions with nature is one way to help our brain shift into Passive Mode to help the brain recover the energy used in Focus Mode and just basically recharge. How do we know if the theory works? He tested it of course.

Using difficult cognitive tests, Berman and his colleagues purposely exhausted all the attention and concentration abilities of a group of volunteers. Then they sent them out for a three-mile walk, but split into 2 groups: One group walked along the busy Huron Street, while another took a leisurely stroll along a secluded part of Ann Arbor. After the walk, they were tested again back in the lab for their focus and concentration. The result? Expectedly, the group that went for the quiter walk along Ann Arbor's natural surroundings performed significantly better in the tests.

To put it in one sentence, what these psychologists are saying is that using the science of psychology, they've discovered that interacting with the natural environment plays an important role in maintaing our psychological health and also in boosting our mental fitness levels.

Now that's way cool right? Right? :)

Saturday

2009-02-21T20:17:00.003+08:00

What a dull day, I got up at nearly eleven after gunning down hundreds of zombies the night before in Left 4 Dead, the name that is now synonymous with the words 'zombie' and 'help me'. Hope I can get cracking on studying for the semester exam which is just around the corner, now that assignments have been settled and done with.

Bored and with a PC in front of me, I did what only guys like me could do. You know, guys like me who don't have much life beyond the squalid four walls of my home. Switched on my PC, took out a DVD and an hour later I was busy checking out all the eye-candy that was on my screen.

If you don't know what Windows 7 is, then by all means check it out at the Windows7 Official Site. But if that's too grandfatherly boring for you, then Windows 7 is the follow-up or sequel of sorts to Windows Vista which is the default version of Windows you would find in most new laptops and computers now. It's now available for public testing, so I just thought I should give it a spin.

Had been using it for the whole afternoon, looks and feels really nice. Faster than Vista, and should get better when they officially release it. For those of you who are sick of Vista holding you back, Windows 7 could possibly be the one to help make computing a better experience for us all. It's funny how it plays on my psychology so much, just playing a simple video gave me the impression it was nicer and crisper and more vibrant than watching it on Vista. Nonsensical I know, but it feels great anyway, hahaha.

Yes, I only did what a geek like me could do on a Saturday morning, install computer software. Boring huh? Maybe I should've asked someone to go out for lunch or something....oh well. Next week I guess.

Undeserving, But Grateful

2009-02-15T21:20:00.003+08:00

In many ways, I would consider myself to be a terrible friend. Short of listing out all the negative aspects that I'm sure many of you can relate to, every now and then I really do feel that people like me don't deserve to have good, proper caring friends. But despite all the times when I let everyone down, I can still think of so many instances where special people turned up in special circumstances to lend a hand, lend an ear, lend a dollar and whatever else I had needed of.

And among these special people, a few would go the extra mile to be a bit more special even, and I just cannot imagine what I could have done to deserve to know them. Just thought that I should take a moment to properly thank all the awesome people who consider me important enough to befriend and be friends with.

Thank you.

Valentine's

2009-02-14T18:04:00.002+08:00

Okay, if you were actually expecting to read something related to Valentine's then you have my apologies, because in true single-but-not-too-desperate geek fashion I spent the entire day at home doing work. Alone.

Oh well...

My apologies again if you have already given up on trying to wait for my posts, the past few weeks since I got my driving lessons from my grandfather in Kuantan hasn't been very good to me. It's the same old struggles that I always write about but never say about. I've even gotten tired of blogging about it, so in the end I always didn't know what to write about when I felt like updates are due. Sigh~

On the other hand, there are a lot of things to look forward to the next month. Semester exams aside, my sister would be coming back home from RBS after the graduation night on the 5th. That means I'd have to return the table (which I have colonised and grown to love) to her. And I'd have to fight for the bathroom with her again. And I can't have the speakers in the living hall pumping out my playlists anymore. But such is the joy of having siblings :) Really hope she enjoys herself and also gain all the experience she can from the remaining two weeks left in Camerons and also the three days during her mission trip to Nilai.

Can't wait for this short semester to be over, would definitely have more time to post a lil bit more often then.

To all the lovebirds around the globe who are splurging lots of love on one another today (and cash too, no doubt), enjoy yourselves and Happy Valentine's :D

Kuantan Happenings

2009-01-24T22:06:00.005+08:00

Since I've taken so many photos and the neighbour's left the modem on for some reasons, I thought another post would only be all too appropriate.

Coming back here with a P license this time around, I suddenly found myself at the receiving end of the car keys to my grandfather's Grandpa-mobile, which is ironically a Red Proton Saga Aeroback too! A bit newer than my (my dad's) Red Proton Saga Aeroback, having done less than 100,000 kilometers compared to almost 300,000 on mine (my dad's) car.

I think grandfathers are the best person to spoil you, if anyone is. My granpa is err..pretty old this year already, and had gone through the usual sickness routines, having just had a major surgery not too long ago. He smokes like any good cigarette-toting veteran, but he's the only one that I'll never mind to see him smoking. Most other people who light up in front of me would get two immediate headshakes and a flurry of sighs...he used to be a mechanic, and his auto skills were somehow good enough to feed the huge family of twelve healthy kids. And yes, he's hard-of-hearing, just like how they portray old folks in cartoon strips.

When he found out that I could drive, he suggested that I should use the car whenever needed. He went out and got me the customary pair of P stickers to put up after I agreed, then took me to a stretch of quiet road and asked me to try driving the car. Sort of like taking driving lessons all over again..I got in, and after taking my time to get used to the clutch and steering, drove all the way back home. He just kept praising me all the way in his characteristic "No problem lah!" mannerisms and seemed pretty happy to report to my mum that I 'passed'. Few things can come close to having your driving skills validated by your ageing grandfather, and I was truly blessed, I thought, to have him around still. I mean, who else would come up to you and say things like "hey, I've already bought the morning papers for you; hey, take the car keys and go for breakfast; hey, I'll fill up the tank so that you can use it to go wherever you want." *grandfathers rock!*

Happenings today were basically breakfast (very important over here), doing some hectic Chinese New Year grocery shopping at Tunas Manja, the local supermaket and hopping over to the beach to get some breeze and sand. Don't know if I'm just ulu, but there's always a bunch of interesting people who ply their trade along the walkway at the beach.

Nasi Lemak and Teh-C Ping again!

Ox plush toys anyone?

One of the few reasons behind our inability to boycott US products xD

Another one of those roadside artists, but he's amazing. And only ten bucks!

Fancy some sand-art from Jordan?

Weapons store selling pretty good-looking err...weapons. Which happen to light cigarettes.

Not too bad a day I suppose ;)

Back In Time

2009-01-23T09:57:00.004+08:00

It's only Friday, still a good several days away from Chinese New Year but already I've hot-footed it back to my hometown in Kuantan, Pahang. Fearing that I'd be too darned bored with only Mandarin-speaking relatives to keep me company, I did what I could and brought back my Battle-Station :D

Times like this I'm pretty glad I didn't buy a desktop instead.

But that aside, coming back all the way here has always been a relaxing retreat of sorts for me. The pace of life here is starkly different from that of Subang's. Slow isn't the word though, it's somewhat more like..steady. After two weeks of early-morning drives to college, it's pretty nice to not have to rush to avoid those Doomsday hours of morningtime, lunchtime and after-work-everyone-is-in-a-terrible-mood-time.

The best of course, is the food. Who doesn't like to rave about all the different kinds of awesome food found only in specific enclaves in their birthplace? :D For me though, it's the nostalgia that makes the food all the more tasty and uber-delicious. Breakfast has been, and always will be, a bomb!

Nasi lemak with Teh-C Ping as can only be found here ;D

This is where we used to eat years ago...a piece
of memory that's still intact.

The most surprising this time around though, is the fact that my grandparents' jiran decided to provide free unsecured wireless Internet access! (^.^) Doesn't get any better than coming back here and still remain connected, heheh. This means that I'll get to do some research for my assignments even at 400 kilometers away from home...uh, regardless of whether I actually get around to doing any lah :)

Happy Chinese New Year people!

Where we're at as a society

2009-01-10T15:37:00.002+08:00

I've always had the impression that Singapore was a country that prided itself on its human capital. The education system and universities there are often much talked-about and garner considerable degrees of respect from around the world with respect to their quality.

And I still have that impression. I certainly wouldn't mind at all being associated with a classy college or university like the Raffles Junior College and the NTU. Just saying that you belong to NUS for example, already puts you on a higher social standing than your peers who might be studying in any of our local universities. I'm not saying that local graduates are inferior in any way of course since I'm studying here myself, but the general consensus seems to be that Singapore has a pretty solid education backbone propping up the country's main resource: its people.

Or do they?

In today's Star paper page N50, the columnist for INSIGHT DOWN SOUTH who writes about the goings-on in Singapore mentioned the inevitable skew in the mindset of Singaporean youths whose minds have been so deeply ingrained with the competitive nature of the Singaporean society that places too much emphasis on success and leaves too little room for failure.

Where are we now as a society and where are we headed? Why is it that we are so focused on churning out world-class academic wonderkids akin to a factory producing designer sports shoes? In terms of science the global society as a whole is making wave after waves of breakthroughs and discoveries and everyday we hear people telling us that our "quality of life" is getting better. But at what cost? I feel that people have become robots in how they are being pushed to fit a mould to serve in a particular manner. Never mind if you are a unique human individual with your own set of skills, talents and abilities. All that matters is success, and whether you make it big in life. The individual is overtaking the group in importance, and our society now is more accurately just an assembly of 'individual individuals who happen to share the same living place and happen to have to interact with one another but otherwise pursue only individual goals individually'. And here I am talking about all these things because...I too, am a part of this degenerate change in our societal values.

If you didn't have the time to read the article that I was talking about to the end, then here's something that I wish I would never say, whether out loud or in my heart:

A reporter recounted how her friend was shaken when her young daughter came home one day and mentioned in passing that poor people were "stupid, obviously."

Last One to Hit the Year

2008-12-30T21:39:00.002+08:00

A year ago, I might've spent the last few days thinking and mulling about the past twelve months as a whole and slowly write out the many things that had taken place and taken hold of my time and attention somewhere along the way.

This post would probably have a longer, more elaborate and more and funky-sounding title like "The Sights and Sounds, Ups and Downs, Smiles and Frowns of Year 200X".

There would probably be a ton of photos to capture all those special moments that can only be articulated using splashes of super-macro camera shots.

A year ago, I would probably have done all that.

THIS year, things aren't too different actually. I didn't morph into a blog-hater who is now too lazy to blog and too tired to care about the blogging world. I didn't chance upon blogging enlightenment and decide that I'm suddenly to cool to continue blogging anymore. I'm still me.

But it's just that a variety of things crept up and caught me in the midst of the final month of this year. Exams, holiday trips, falling sick, planning for Watchnight Service, catching up with friends and other day-to-day life activities meant I could not sit down on the computer any longer than 2 hours a day. And two hours for me is, very little, honestly.

I want to tell you so many different things that have happened to me that I feel really deserve a mention. I want to introduce to you the long list of interesting people that had crossed my walk of life this year around. I want to show you all the thoughtful gifts that I have had the pleasure to receive from friends and family members. I want to read to you the deep, profound personal convictions and sharings inked in the letters that I have received from people who trusted me enough to let me know more than I otherwise would.

But alas, I would have to hold on to them first. Like what someone said to me recently, I don't wanna tell you everything here and later have nothing left to spill to you when I finally meet you in person. So if we do have the chance to sit down together over a glass of Teh Ais and Ayam Goreng, perhaps then you can find out more ;)

Last one to hit the year, so long 2008!

System Downtime

2008-12-23T09:14:00.001+08:00

Unfortunately, I'm currently too sick to even be typing anything properly so there won't be any updates for the next few days. In the meantime, I have joined the masses who seem to have fallen for the year-end superbug that's been going around....

For Your Money's Worth

2008-12-13T00:12:00.002+08:00

Story-telling brilliantly done :)

I've probably said it before that I'm too picky for my own good most of the time when it comes to enjoying a good show in the cinema. Rustling popcorn boxes catch my attention, while idiotic (yes, I dislike it that much) handphone screens lighting up around me totally destroys my attempts to immerse myself in the movie (I mean, you go to the cinema so that you can immerse yourself in the show, no?). But every now and then, I walk out of the cinema feeling like I had made a really good decision in buying the tickets.

I still honestly opine that good movies are those where you can see, hear and feel the effort put into it by the production people. Okay, so maybe we've been seeing too many animation releases lately. Dreamworks, Pixar and Disney are no doubt working very hard to woo the audiences from the global economic gloom into the cinema halls and naturally we see more and more mediocre and same-old-same-old flicks playing in the silver screens, but thankfully some good ones still manage to stand out and show everyone else how to pull off the subtle art of entertaining entertainment.

Oh yea, try to catch the 3D version if you can. There are more likely to be less people, and hence less chance for interference, haha :D

Feels Like Yesterday

2008-12-03T13:16:00.002+08:00

Walking into the airport's airplane air passengers' before-they-take-off-into-the-air area, it almost felt very much like only yesterday that he went for his holiday (plus a bit of studying) in that popular rugby country that also gave us the Dual-Flush Toilet (yes, that apparently came from Australia).

It's sad that you didn't come back with any Australian accent, dressing or hairdo that we can make fun of but no matter, we know you got us a lot of gifts :P

Welcome back, Mr. Lee.

No Worries

2008-11-13T16:36:00.002+08:00

Consider the following evidences:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

If Exhibit A and Exhibit B, arguably the laziest people around here on this side of the world could make it through SPM without too much fuss, then those of you taking SPM this time around have indeed little to worry about :D

Haha, all the best to the SPM people, and no worries, SPM's only ONE exam, not THE exam ;D

Could've Been

2008-11-10T00:58:00.003+08:00

To me the Sunday was turning out to be quite a nice one, driving in the rain was pretty relaxing...but the poor chap in the MPV had a bad day for sure, with a wild white Kancil that madly careened off her own lane, and packing FULL ACCELERATION dove straight into the back of his nice van. Just off USJ 4.

Headlights smashed into pieces, both the cars crashed like it was a videogame and we saw it all, my sister my mum and I. Everything was in mute, not a sound heard. It was really heart-grippingly fearlful, to recall what really transpired. I have no idea why Ms.X did what she did, but my sister said that she looked absolutely ghastly and hysterical after the accident. Which means it wasn't on purpose. Right....I was in the middle lane, and just drove by. 100 metres down the road, I had a panic attack when the whole event finally registered in my brain, when I realised just how close we were to getting ourselves a really serious accident.

Whatever it was that caused this, I don't know. But really, the MPV could've been me. I could've driven 10 kmph faster and my front door would be in need of serious repair now. Heck, I would be in need of serious repair now. By God's grace I'm still here, but I think life just got a wee bit too exciting for me today. Fuh.

Thank you Lord for the journey mercies today, and I suppose I mean it quite a bit more than I would have normally...

No Time

2008-11-05T17:05:00.002+08:00

Getting off the awfully long study break that I had for the first six months of the year and entering into university course certainly proved to be a tad bit difficult to adjust to. A tad bit.

No more waking up to the afternoon sun, waking up from the wastage of the previous day and waking up to yet another day that would be spent doing pretty much the same things as before. So yes, I've 're-assimilated' into the general population and now join the masses chanting the popular modern-day saying of 'No Time lah!'.

The thing is, the right priorities are always the hardest to fulfill, so for me I mostly have a really screwed up priority list that puts the wrong things at the top, and the right things at the bottom. While the momentary gratifications are wonderful, the end-results of putting my time where I shouldn't and vice-versa have never failed to come back and bite me in the eyes. The pattern is normally as follows:

1. Decision to make --> 2. Decision made (mostly the wrong one) ---> 3. Time is wasted ---> 4. Possible scenarios of either a) work gets left out b) relationships take a dive ----> 5. Feelings of regret and guilt ----> 6. Strive to do better ----> 7. Rinse, wash and repeat.

I realise I've been feeling like there's 'no time' very often lately. Get an assignment, aiyo, no time lah. Go out for something, aiyo, no time lah. This one..no time lah. That one maybe..aiya, no time lah. To me, this is just plain mind-bending.

"Where did it all go? I'm sure I had a lot of time to begin with, so how come I've all but run out now?"

My time here could be up even as I'm typing, so it really hurts me to have to come to grips with the fact that I'm just really terrible with managing my time and my priorities. Why can't I do better?

I don't like to wind up complaining about something all the time here on my blog, I don't want to end up always looking for pity from other people, from you guys. But at the same time I want to take note of the different things taking place as my days pass by and I live through them, be they inspiring or regrettable.

Also, I don't think I could even bother to think about all these things, if not for some of the things that some of you had said or done. I suppose the fact that I'm thinking about it means that all hope aren't lost yet.

Time.

"haihhhh so hard to juggle everything... family, friends, spiritual life, work, all"
-anonymous-

Grow

2008-10-26T21:01:00.003+08:00

Can't quite put the thoughts down in type, but I'm getting more and more of that odd vibe that I need to....'reinvent' myself, to borrow the term from economic-speak. Or more like, 'rebrand' myself. Or wait, maybe not. Bah.

The areas where I fail, the times when I regret...I know I'm at the crossroads already. I either keep up what I'm doing and perish, or I make the real efforts to change. The more I fall, the more I feel hurt and disenchanted with the idea of even bothering to try, but I learn to pick up myself better also along the way.

Okay, so in the end I've said nothing, but I just wanted to post about what's been twirling in my head for some time now.

More Information to be Googled

2008-10-19T15:17:00.003+08:00

6 things I'm passionate about:
1) Computers
It's an obsessive-compulsive thing I guess, I just can't stand a PC that isn't properly taken care of. A PC should be well-oiled, well-maintained and well-tuned, so that it can run to its best potential. I can't write programs and I can't do any physical modifications like adding jet-exhausts and stuff, but give me any PC or laptop with a problem (Internet not working, sound not working, programs can't start, virus/malware/spyware/I-don't-know-ware) and I shall not rest until the problems are solved and resolved.

2) Technology
I like reading about gadgetry that I'll never own, for some reasons. I can read a DSLR magazine just for the sake of reading, without even knowing my aperture from my shutter speed to begin with. MP3 players, Blu-ray Discs, WiFi, Solid State Hard Drives, LED-Backlit LCD Displays, bla bla bla and everything else you can find related to consumer technology would nicely find a place as my preferred reading material (although I don't actively look for things to read).

3) Mission Work
I'm not sure if I would be involved in full-time missions in the near future, but I appreciate the work put in by missionaries and if I'm not one then I would at least want to be part of the 'senders' and contribute in other ways. But of course, the more I think about it the more I have to question my own involvement in missions work, or the lack of it to be more exact. Makes me think about how I'm being more and more attached to what the world has to offer, when there are so many other things that can be done, so many areas that I can serve in.

4) Malaysia
To me, Malaysia is my country, and it's nothing to do with National Service, so no indoctrination symptoms here :D I like Malaysia, I like the races here. Can we for once put aside the racial slurs, the racial prejudice and racial nonsense? Why are we still struggling for that 'one country, one citizen' notion even after half a century? It's sad to see that the generation running the country now are still talking about 'their own people' only. Most discouraging is the mentality of 'Malaysia as My Temporary Home', with foreign citizenship in one hand and luggage in the other, ready to flee when 'the time comes', so to speak.

5) Environment
Yeap yeap, better a tree than a plastic neon-coloured decoration any day. Littering is what miffs me the most, when nice rivers are clogged with rubbish, and also bits of brains that people must've thrown out along with the trash. In Malaysia the environment is seriously underrated, with forest reserves being shaved to make way for small decorative shrubs just so there's money to be made. The environmental movement in Malaysia is still slow, and the government really should push to protect the green heritage that we have around us. Of course, the headlines would tell you that they're currently too busy for that..

6) Others
I realised that I can sometimes be passionate towards certain people that I come across. Please don't get the idea that I'm talking about girls, I meant to say that sometimes I'm drawn to keep in touch more with a particular person just to see if there's anything I can do to help out. Wish I could be more rajin in this respect though.

6 books I read(ing) recently:
1) The Bible
You can't stop reading this for too long without going over the cliff, I realised :)

2) Christian Psychology's War on God's Word
Tough book to chew on, and rightly so because I've not touched it for a while since borrowing it from the church library. I think I should try to finish it some time. Great insights on how psychology theories and God's principles compare with one another.

6 songs I can listen to over and over again:
1) Carrie Underwood - Lessons Learned
I like how the lyrics paint a good picture out of all the mistakes that we could possibly make, it's a lesson learned to have known that we did something wrong.

2) The Corrs - Summer Sunshine
I just like the tune :D

3) New Found Glory - Kiss Me
Brilliant song here, love how they made the classic song their own.

4) Juwita Suwito - Only In The Dark
It's only in our times of need that we hear the promptings of the LORD, "only in the dark when I can't seem to see, I'll learn to hear your whisper that's been guiding me".

5) Shannon Noll - Shine
The intro alone is worth listening to over and over again, haha.

6) Sara Bareilles - Love Song
Again, the intro is the best thing to get you started on a drive.

6 things I learnt this past year:
1) God loves me, has always loved me, will always love me, no matter I do, or don't do. That is truth.

2) The harder decisions to make, are more often than not, the right ones.

3) Investing in relationships still yields the best returns.

4) I can be here and dead tomorrow, it's God's call and who am I to think that I 'tomorrow never dies'?

5) I've got to move on from the rut that I'm in, and grow up.

6) I've really got a long way to go in terms of spiritual maturity, still so many areas that I could work on.

6 valuable things I own:
1) My life. Stripped of everything else, it's just me and God, and I thank you LORD for having brought me where I am today.

2) My family and my home. My family's not perfect, and I'll never want that anyway because it's already the best one that I could ever ask for. The house is only rented, but it's home enough for me, and comfortable by all means :)

3) Friends and cousins - Coming here and making so many new friends those few years ago was certainly one of the better things to have happened to me :)

4) Provision - God will provide for me and my family one way or another, and I still don't have any reasons as of now to doubt Him.

5) Adeline - My lappie of course, not a person, although that would've been err...nice :D Most expensive thing I ever asked from my parents, at almost twice the price tag of an ordinary low-end laptop. Don't know why I picked something so expensive, but I was kinda picky with the specifications I guess. You better serve me faithfully for another decade, Adeline! xD

6) Creative ZEN - Most expensive birthday gift here. Nice to have a mini photo-album movie viewer MP3 machine around, especially when it's free :D

In Death There's Value

2008-10-15T01:35:00.002+08:00

A remark that stuck with me for while now is that 'You guys are lucky because you've not really experienced the loss of a close one'.

The closest person that I could think of whom I had 'lost' would probably be my grandfather, whom I was only moderately close with.

The ironic thing with death, I think, is how the person who dies suffers the least. Sure, you can die the most excruciating death (by electric chair or firing squad or electric squad or firing chair or...), and writhe in all the pain and agony, but death cuts deepest into the hearts of those who knew you, those who loved you. Emotional scars that go unnoticed and wrenching of the heart that goes on indefinitely...

But as I pondered the other day, it's only when you take a look at death that you can find value in the things that really matter. Life is so precarious, and dying is really not that hard a feat to accomplish, admittedly. Have you ever imagined yourself dead, or dying, and thinking of who would be there to see you at your deathbed? I have. I do. (I'm typing on a wooden table, :D)

When I think about the undeniable fact that life here on the mortal plane is only as long as the LORD wills it, then the implication of it is that at any and every single moment, there is a possibility of me going six feet under.

Perhaps people should think about death more. We always stop short at saying anything 'unlucky' about ourselves, and utter the famous wood phrase. But really, it is in death that the value of everything that you ever thought you had comes into examination. Money's the last thing you'd want to keep, for sure. Your car? Nope. Your three-storey terrace? Can't be buried with you. In fact, everything that you are, and have, on this world stays with this world. I'd like to not have lived and died just knowing that I had a successful business. I'd want to know that I had lived a good life of time spent investing on other people, in building relationships and in sharing hardships. I'd want to avoid taking for granted the fact that I am alive and breathing. I'd like to say, before I die, that 'it's been great knowing you guys' :)

In death there's value.

Do you see them? Do you see the things of value to you?

What matters enough to you to outshine even the consuming fire of death?

Sleeping at 4 in the morning

2008-10-10T03:54:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow shall be a short day for me...oh well. At least I finished this, haha.

Alamak, Blimey!

2008-10-06T01:03:00.004+08:00

Last week, I took the invitation to go up to Fraser's for a short two-days holiday of sorts, with a pretty rag-tag bunch of people. I had assignments in mind, and there were some other appointments with other friends to manage. So quite a few times I had wanted to just pull out and stay at home instead, but I tagged along in the end, and yes, I made the right choice indeed :)

I had the impression that there really isn't much that you can do in Fraser's. And I still think so. Clearly there's only so much flora to see, and so much strolling you can do. But the X factor in the trip, or any trip to anywhere for that matter; was clearly the company. I didn't think much of the combination of Elena, Jon and Ann together, since they're the Footstool bunch so to speak and I'm the odd one out joining the trip. Until the three of them started poking at each other of course xD At almost every turn and corner, there were plenty of smiles exchanged, laughs traded and jokes shared. I certainly didn't sign myself up for so much entertainment, hahaha.

Once we got to the Gap house and were on our way up, the familiar cold mountain breeze came in through the windows, and even though it's not the first time I've been up these highlands, there's just nothing quite like leaving all that uncouth 'civilisation' behind and soaking up the refreshing misty air. Forget Genting, Fraser's is the place to be to chill and relax (I'm not gonna use that combination word, thank you).

For some reasons, when you're up there, you seem to subscribe to a different time-space continuum. Time moves a whole lot slower and you'll feel like you're entirely removed from the cities just down below (Point proven when Ann said "When you get back to Malaysia....."). It sounds like escapism and hints at 'I-don't-wanna-face-my-troubles-so-I'm-just-gonna-run-away' attitudes but it was really more like...slowing down. Lowering the external noise. 3 days without the Internet proved to be a great puasa of sorts, like how fasting can give your stomach a rest. With our minds off Facebook, there were plenty of real interaction and 'poking' going around. Wall-to-wall comments were face-to-face for a change, and yes, it sure beats having your conversation indexed by the search engine and end up being searched by others xD

I had fun. I really did. Thank you so much Ann Choo for the apartment, the chit-chats, the food and the great tours around Buona Vista :D

Thank you so much Jon Tan for the comfortable (well, mostly) ride up and down and all over Fraser's and for the steamboat, great fun having it so high up in the hills xD

Thank you so much Elena, for all the comic relief and entertainment provided. Twiggies on me, hahahaha.

And thank you so much guys, for inviting me along for the trip. Best three days spent in Fraser's since the committee retreat, definitely.

If Jon had smiled this would be the perfect photo to end the post with...oh well :)

*A huge apology to all the people that I had to ditch in the last minute because of the extended stay in Fraser's.*

*For more pics, take a look at Elena's Fraser's Trip Pics*

Presents and Blessings Abound

2008-10-01T20:52:00.005+08:00

Already, it's now October. What a year 2008 has been for me, simply amazing and unbelievable in so many ways. From RBS to entering university, this year I've definitely received more than my fair share of blessings and provision from Him. Every time I think about all the things that I had done this year, the friends I made the gifts I received and the things I've managed to do; I am simply awestruck at how the LORD made sure I was never left wanting, despite all the times that I sidetracked or even backtracked from my spritual walk.

Okay, so it's not quite the 31st of December yet, but I just wanted to do a short recap of some of the gifts that I received for my birthday, so here it goes :D

Tada! This was taken on the day they handed out the certificates for the The Star Education Fund recipients, of which I am one of them :) I truly had no idea what was in store for me after STPM was over and done with, but along came the surprise that I, the one who recklessly said "I don't know" to one of the interviewers' questions; was chosen to pursue a degree in Psychology at Sunway University College. Even more surprising was how my application for the local universities came back with my first choice, something that the dudes at the education department seldom give out. In the end I made the choice to go for Sunway, and it has not been easy adjusting to how universitiy education works but it's certainly been a wonderful blessing to have the opportunity to study there.

TWO presents from the ever-generous Mr. Lim who came back a few months earlier from Texas for his holidays. The first one on top literally got me into a stupor of sorts because it was supposed to be a 'random present'. Uh...the thing is that my old mp3 player disappeared on my way back from Bethany Home when I went up there for a visit a few months ago. Mr.Lim then kindly thought of getting me a brand new device, complete with 8 times the storage space, a nice shiny display and brilliant sound quality. But to me, it was the single most expensive present I've received, and quite shocking it was I would say. *oh no, what the heck am I gonna have to get for him?!?!* Still, I really really appreciate the gift, and the beautiful player has been my faithful in-car entertainment wonderbox ever since.

For the controller, it was also incredibly thoughtful of Mr.Lim to get me an original PS2 analog pad to replace my age-old PS1 joystick which is now bruised and seasoned. But it's too nice for me to even want to take it out of the box, so it's still in the box now xD I probably won't want to use it until my PS1 controller explodes or something, haha.

That's me in a nice and comfortable brand-new just-arrived last month Wild Channel hoodie from Aunty Choi Chew :D Many thanks to her concern about powerful air-conditioners in Sunway, and for bringing me all the way to Subang Parade to shop for it! Lectures are no longer the chill-fest they used to be, and this would certainly be brilliant for exam halls.

Over here, last but not least; is a Solvi Titus spectacle frame from the mother of a friend in Kuantan. Always wanted a plastic frame for sports or general rough use, although the problem was that I never looked good in any sort of plastic frame. Unfortunately I've not had the frame fitted with optometric glass yet, so it's still sitting there in the box on my table. Better go and get it fitted soon...

And there you have it, a quick run-down of some of my newly-acquired :) I wouldn't mind of course if there's more to come still this year, heh.

Presents in Print

2008-09-27T23:16:00.009+08:00

Just about a week ago, it was the favourite day of my favourite month again. According to Wikipedia, I supposedly share the same birth date as some of the more well-known people around the globe such as Jerry Bruckheimer and Stephen King, to name a few. Not that I'm hinting at anything of course, haha.

But rather, this year I had the opportunity to receive so many presents. Funnily enough most of them were advance gifts, so by the time it was the 21st of September I had more or less received all the presents there were for me. More or less, because I still received a present on the day itself, and I even managed to get another present today!

I had wanted to post about all the presents that I've received, but university took up most of my time. Of course, if I posted about all the presents at one shot then the post would be too long, so I'll post about the biggest (size) present that I received this year first :D

Taking off the outer colourful layer of wrapping revealed that I had a lot more work to do...

I've wrapped with newspapers before, and I've done the 'newspaper-upon-newspaper x 1000' style also, although when it's normally not a very efficient use of newspaper because the recipient tends to take advantage and rip off 4 - 5 layers in one go. And yes, it's very time-consuming. And takes plenty of effort. And newspaper of course. So I decided to play fair and nicely unwrapped the newspaper layers one-by-one.

Which took quite a while actually. An hour after I started, it was like this:

Funkily, along the way there were plenty of litte 'encouragements' to spur me onwards. Talk about being meticulously creative :) Let's see...an Orlando Bloom-wrapper chipsmore, a Fergie-wrapper Tiger Biskuat, a box of Moo Milk Candy wrapped in another posse of stars...presents in a present.

Another half-an-hour more of careful tearing finally got me to the real present beneath the boxy exterior. And surprise surprise, there wasn't any real box to begin with. It was an open-top container with the genuine present inside.

At the end of the whole exercise, the actual present itself wasn't the focus anymore, because I really thought that the effort and thoughts put into wrapping it were a whole lot more priceless. The box could have contained a bag of peanuts and I would've been equally satisfied either way because the time spent on wrapping it up alone is already one of the most special things that you can give to someone. But I liked the present of course, don't get me wrong, hahaha.

Thank you very much once again!

Still Many More Presents to Put Up!!

Birthday Presents

2008-09-17T11:47:00.004+08:00

With September being such a popular month to give birth, it's no surprise that I can hardly keep up with all the birthdays throughout the month. At last count, there are at least about 7 people, and that says a lot because I hardly know of more than one friend's birthday for each of the other months. Of course, there's always the chance that my selective memory doesn't like to include birthdays in other months due to 'personal bias' towards September, haha.

With birthdays, there's gotta be presents. Cakes. Cards. Dinners, and what-have-yous. But specifically presents, because you can miss the dinner, skip the cake, forget the card and even forget the birthday, but there has to be.... a present :D

Back then it was always stationery sets. Or decorative items. Kau-tim, finish. No fuss there.

Now...mention birthdays and 'aiyo, what to buy leh??' rings in the head.

I always thought that presents are a means of showing someone how well you know them. The more you know someone, the more meaningful a present you can buy or make for them. But this year I've hardly had the remotest idea of what to get for even the people that I'm pretty close with. I wondered if it was laziness on my part. I wondered if I was starting to become indifferent to all the birthdays. Or should I just say 'no time'?

Last Sunday it was the birthday of a certain Lee, whom I had known all my life but had only really gotten to 'know' better in the last 4 years. I had nothing to give, no cards and not even a wish. Partly because I was busy, but I had nothing planned in the first place. Was I being plain indifferent, and just couldn't care less?

No, it mattered. I cared. I just wish I could find something as.... wacky and.. random, something unique enough. I'll have to keep an eye out for next year I suppose.

A happy belated birthday then, to Justina Lee, cousin extraordinaire :)

You can bunuh me now if you want, Tina :D

PS: Picture above taken during the recent 'I-almost-died' white-water rafting trip, for full coverage go to Tanjonny Enjoyed Rafting

Can't Wait

2008-09-06T18:04:00.003+08:00

I've kinda forgotten that I don't always have to have a word limit for my posts, that it doesn't always have to be 4 paragraphs long and all xD Didn't realise that I had never really blogged just for...ya know, fun :) So here's one: Can't Wait for Dinner!

No caption needed here, heh.

Feeling Lucky

2008-09-04T00:04:00.002+08:00

A quick Google search revealed that quite a number of people actually get their fingers squashed by car doors every now and then. Which was what happened to me today xD

Coming back home with Simon, I had the great opportunity to have my fingers totally slammed in between the front door and the side frame of the trusty grey Citroen MPV. And the door latched just fine, click and all mind you. I was sitting behind the MPV, and had put my hand at the side frame where the sliding door meets the front door to get myself inside. But I left my hand there too long and when the front door closed, wham!

I felt a sharp impact, then looked and saw my fingers buried in between two pieces of metal. It actually felt quite comfortable though...for like a second. Then it hurt. The person in front was surprised to be sure :D But when I took my hand out, I noticed first of all that my fingers were still intact. Great, I thought. Then I checked...no blue-black bruises even. Just red swathes where it hit. Still, no swelling, nothing! Whoa, I'm really lucky, I thought. Such heavenly blessings to get my fingers back in one piece.

And throughout the night I was looking at my fingers like every 5 to 10 minutes, and everytime I saw them still nice and wriggly, I smiled, amused at my own fortune. I mean, if it was my red colour Proton Saga instead my fingers would've flown off a mile away, for sure. Or at the very least get my bones crushed like...crushed ice xD *looks at finger* But it's still here!! Hahaha.

Lucky.

And just the other day, I narrowly missed a car that zoomed in from a junction where some other cars obscured my view. I know how often it happens, but it was really close. A little bit more on the pedal and it would've been ugly. Nevertheless, I got back home safely. Lucky.

Or more than that, God's been really good to me for the last few days. It's not just plain Chinese ong-ong 'luck' of course, but I know it was God's protection. And grace.

*looks at fingers* Still here!!

Remember God's Grace

2008-08-30T17:28:00.004+08:00

I picture the Christian life as a race along a straight highway ala the AutoBahn over in Germany, with countless numbers of awesome breathtaking sights and scenes on both sides.

As we run, we encounter and discover all the amazing things that God is only too happy to show to us. Beautiful mountain trails with clouds swooping down every now then, rows and rows of trees blooming to the colours of the Photoshop paint palette and waterfalls that gush with the roar of a mighty earthquake.

But the thing is, I figure most people would find it boring at one point or another to be going in only one direction. Hence when we see the overhead billboard that says 'Rest and Relaxation 10KM -->' the curious in us steers us in that direction and off we go on a nice short detour. Who doesn't like a break from that long stretch of highway?

So it was the same with me, just a few days ago I took a detour and went off to another town to 'rest and relax'. Enjoyed myself there, and boy it sure was a nice break from all that endless tarmac grinding. Stayed overnight even, since the luxuries and entertainments offered were so alluring, so desirable. Come morning however, I knew I took the wrong turn the previous night. The town was desolate, and around me only withering trees could be seen. It's not the first time unfortunately, and I'm never short of amazed at my own stupidity at times.

Finding my way back to the highway is always the hardest. Especially for someone as direction-blind as me. I just don't know if I'm heading in the right direction, or if I'm just going towards another one of those R&R places, or if I'm actually going anywhere at all.

And there's nothing that I can do, except to pray along the way that God would show the way again, that He would send a signboard or two to at least let me know where I am. I kind of get the feeling that after detouring for so many times, God might very well just get tired and put up a giant flashing neon billboard that says 'Good luck, you're on your own from this point onwards'. I mean, I would.

For all my worries though, I found something to rest on.

All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in his mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved. Ephesians 2:3-5

I remembered His grace, and how He had never stopped coming back after me. A God who chases after our hearts, how stoned and foolish my conscience must have been to just walk away from the majesty that He constantly invites us into, and swim in the mud with the pigs instead. After all the gifts, all the blessings, all the joy, I find still myself in the wrong places at the wrong times doing anything but the right things to do.

Thanks for showing me the way again Lord :)

What's In A Name

2008-08-24T00:15:00.002+08:00

What or who do you associate with a name, if I may ask?

When it comes to English names, some of us are born with one, some gave themselves one, some were given one, and still some others couldn't care less if they had one. I fall somewhere in between all of the above, I suppose. It's a relief that I have the luxury to settle for a name so easily and not have to grind my gray matter coming up with one of those odd-sounding names like Crimson or Race or whatever.

I tend to have very strong visual imageries for any and every kind of common English name that you can throw at me. An example: (meant to be non-offensive)

Nathan - Indian doctor
Charles - Blonde European
Bartholomew - Big guy with a soft character
Russel - Rascal
Andre - Rich kid, mixed-parentage or European
Roger - Short guy, 3 feet tops
John - Average Chinese person, but has an unusual personality
Simon - Has curly hair :D

So it was asked of me that.... if I had the chance to slap an actual English name (since my current name's given at birth) in front of my full name, what would it be?

In a return to having interactive posts, I've decided (I hope this doesn't end up being embarassing) to ask you guys this: what would you name me, and what kind of imagery do you normally associate with that name? Fire away at the comments (^.^)

Dial-a-number

2008-08-19T23:14:00.003+08:00

The post about uni would have to wait, don't think I have enough time to blog about it today...

But on another note, out of the blue while surfing the net I suddenly decided to play around with my iTalk credit on the computer, and just randomly called up some of the people on my phonebook that I've not seen or heard from for a while. Here's a summary of the calls that I made:

1st call - cannot reach
2nd call - in a meeting
3rd call - chatted for 10 minutes
4th call - cannot reach
5th call - chatted for 7 minutes
6th call - chatted for 20 minutes

And there goes my homework for tonight....

It's sad how some friends just seem to 'fall out of fashion' with me over time. Not meaning to say that they're no longer fashionable, I guess it's kinda inevitable that some friends just come and go as we move on with our lives. Everytime I hit a crossroad in my life, I lost contact with some of my old friends but at the same time I also made new ones. Nothing new here I suppose.

For the most part I've always preferred chatting on the phone compared to texting, e-mailing or using MSN. Can't quite say why, but perhaps I'm a more aurally-attuned person, I talk a whole lot more on the phone than you would ever catch me doing in person. It's nice when the other person sounds genuinely and pleasantly surprised to get a call from you :D

That said, there are also a lot of friends that I don't feel like calling up, friends that I seem to have lost the connection with. So many. Too many, in fact. Something must've gone wrong, but I've no idea what or where. Or maybe it's just me being selfish and actually taking to 'choosing' who I want to be friends with and who I don't....

Now I can join the ranks of those who moan about school/college/work. Tomorrow got uni!! >.<

The Longest Post

2008-08-14T00:15:00.001+08:00

So this is it, Sunway. Orientation. Gosh...

TQ Posmen

2008-08-12T18:21:00.002+08:00

There is a longing, only You can fill...
A raging tempest, only You can still...
My soul is thirsty LORD, to know You as I am known...
Drink from the river, that flows before Your throne...

Thanks, Hilda Hew Mun Foong :)

Scrape

2008-08-06T18:26:00.002+08:00

I wonder who was luckier, the one sitting in the shining BMW 5-series who was behind me just 15 minutes ago at the sloping car park exit or plain ol' me in my red Proton.

I happened to have had just scraped through the 'bukit' at Summit's secondary exit without having to empty my bank account to an executive who drives a fancy German import. And it was a really close call. I think. No idea how close I was, but from the blaring honk I figured the person in the Benz must've been sweating his pants off.

It's inexperience of my part of course, since in the one second it takes to shift my big foot from the brake pedal to the accelerator my car tumbled back a good mile.

*Handbrakehandbrakehandbrake*

Uni's gonna start in less than a week, and honestly speaking I'm still not confident enough to drive all the way to Sunway yet. Never mind that I won't be able to find my way there in the first place...but all that aside, I really thank God that we (my sis and see huang were in the car) scraped through today. And with that, I've got another close-call to add to my driving credentials :)

The People We Don't See

2008-08-01T22:24:00.000+08:00

The last update had been more than a week ago, but not without reason of course. I had sent my Adeline (my lappy) off to get her battery changed last Thursday and I only just got it back around yesterday. Minus the battery, since they say they'd need to contact the HQ in Taiwan... I don't quite like using the desktop at home to update so I had to wait till I could get my grubby hands on the lappy again. So here's a post that's LONG WAY LONG overdue :D

First and foremost, thank God for the journey mercies during our awesome trip to Bethany Home in Teluk Intan :)

It was like a whirlwind, what had been going on for the last few weeks. I thought I had all the time in the world to bum around, and the whole of June and July to slowly burn my way through. Instead, without so much as to realise it right now I only have roughly one month left to play around with....scary.

Where to begin, where to begin....hurm, actually I can't quite remember in detail what took place over past couple of weeks, but somehow someway the days went by and all I could recall was that I did a lot of things. Oh well.

The highlight though, was definitely the visit to Bethany Home. Bethany Home is simply, 'A School and Training Centre for disabled children and adults', to quote from their website. As far as I know, Bethany Home is the best of its kind in the country and I was really genuinely impressed when Mr. Jayasingh the director said that their aim is to provide a place for the disabled 'from cradle to grave' which, if you ask me, is no small task. If you had read Sim's blog then you'd know that me, him, See Huang and David decided to visit there for 3 days. We had to brave a series near-misses on our way there, narrowly avoiding having to go back home prematurely.

Our stay there was short to say the least, since the other two volunteers we met there signed on for way longer. We reached the centre at around 6 in the evening and the place was dead quiet with nary a soul around, and it was already too late to do anything other than to clean up and go for dinner. That night we ended up watching CSI on the Astro there xD The next morning was much more eventful, fortunately and we had the chance to get a closer look at the machineries behind this huge centre that they call Bethany Home.

It never occurred to me how life is like for those the society likes to label as 'istimewa'. When I really mulled about it, I was left with nothing more than an endless series of question marks. What do they do from day to day? How are they going to grow up and work for their own living? How do they live alone without their parents? What does the future hold for them?

Mr. Jayasingh had this to say: "God doesn't create 'rejects'. Each and every one of these people here might be disabled in terms of their physical condition and state of mind, but inside them their souls are no different from ours."

And a whole lot of sense that makes, I would say.

Less Of Me

2008-07-20T01:06:00.002+08:00

Sell fish. Take away the one letter, put them together and you have one universal trait that applies to all of us. Selfish.

Nature dictates that we be selfish, because it ensures our survival as a species. I don't suppose our cave-dwelling ancestors would've done very well if they always thought of feeding other animals first. Hence we're all born with the instinct to look out for ourselves.

But that's different.

The kind of selfishness that I find myself entangled in is just so wrong, no matter how I look at it.

Me first, me first, me first. I deserve it. I need it. I must get it.

There's never enough, and I always feel that I'm at the losing end of things, like I'm some sort of get-rich-quick scam victim. It's almost as if there's this big wooden Irish-bar kind of door that slams shut whenever I wanna forgo satisfying my own wants and whims first and see if there's anyone else whom I can do something for.

It's scary.

I have to constantly remind myself to bear less of me, and more of others. I came to realize not too long ago that selfishness comes at the expense of those around you, and perhaps that's how sin affects those around us. Most of the time it's not very noticeable but I'm very sure that somehow someway I've wronged each and every one of you at some point in time, whether directly or indirectly.

"You can't touch the water without making a ripple."

Good guys finish last, we all know. But if everyone's good, then can't we all finish together?

And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle,
encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.
Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong,
but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.
1 Thessalonians 5: 14-15

It's hard, but I'll try...

Vision

2008-07-13T00:00:00.004+08:00

I love receiving letters, honestly :)

Every now and then, a letter pops up in my mailbox, and it never fails to light up my day. Thank you very much to the few of you who do take the trouble to send me letters, be it for minor or thoughtful matters.

And yes, I got another one (^.^)

Now here's something that has totally slipped my mind. A relic from RBS, a piece of the Shirtliff mission team that we forged together up there half a year ago. In typical Ann Sue fashion, she sent three photos and scribbled on a piece of foolscap paper with her 'tiny handwriting' but surprise surprise, something else fell out of the envelope.

Along with the photos came attached a nice yellow card...

Don't think we could have said it any better.

But really, thanks a lot Miss Ong for the photos and the wonderful reminder of this 'vision' that we sought to achieve. I shall see to it that the favours are returned in kind some day ;D

It's finally up in YooToob!

2008-07-08T12:50:00.002+08:00

Coming Soon

2008-07-05T23:43:00.003+08:00

I've been wanting to update in the past couple of days, but just never found the time to sit down to do so...but rest assured it's coming! :D

It has something to do with these doughnuts... I think xD

To Celebrate A Birth (with video!)

2008-06-28T17:49:00.005+08:00

To be honest, I sometimes wonder how we justify celebrating birthdays. I mean, everyone's got one. And countless numbers of people are born everyday. Every single minute, in fact. What makes anyone's birthday any more special than others' and actually worth celebrating?

But if you ask me, birthdays are a good excuse for you to something for people whom you care about. I can imagine that without birthdays, we won't have an excuse to show our appreciation and love for those around us. "Oh, I wanna celebrate your niceness, your sweet smile, and your rocking personality, George." "Alright everyone, let's get together to celebrate Adam's humbling generosity, charming demeanor and cheery attitude!"

Nah, give me the birthday cake and pink candles any day ;D

Today's date seventeen years ago just so happens to be the very day this person called Maggie Lim Shu Hui came into the world, but knowing her she'd probably be fully booked today by her friends and family, so we sprang her a nice surprise roughly 24 hours earlier xD

The Action Plan:

Maggie had class until 4.30 in the evening, so our secret operative Mabel (church mate/RBS friend) went along with Maggie's mum (who had also been roped into this surprise) to the college to get her. The moment she got into the car, she was duly blinfolded and driven straight to One Utama, where we had all gathered.

HERE'S THE VIDEO OF MAGGIE BEING CAUGHT BY AGENT MABEL!!

There were about 6 of us who had the taken the trouble to go all the way to One Utama via public transport. Some had to sit through hours of bus ride, others had to cross crocodile-infested waters, while still some braved the horrors of taking the ever-late and never-early KTM. Tough, yea. But we made it there, heh.

It takes a whole lot of guts and determination to try and get to
One Utama using public transport...Simon is seen here focusing
on the mission half way during the ardous journey.

Once Maggie reached One Utama, she was guided by Mabel all the way (blind-folded) to the rendezvous point at McDonald's.

What would we do without iconic eateries like this...

Having arrived safe and sound, operative Mabel was thrilled and
begged to have a photo taken in recognition of her skills.

From McDonald's, I was there to then personally lead them both to where everyone else was waiting, the food court. It's one thing to be blind-folded, but to be blind-folded in a shopping mall isn't something that can be pulled off easily, we found. Taking the escalator was tricky, but Maggie survived without tumbling headfirst. Moving on, everyone at the food court got ready with the cake (cup-cakes, in this case) and candles and stuff.

You'd notice the candles aren't lit yet, because we couldn't procure a
lighter in time, but thankfully agent Sim managed to 'borrow' a small
flame from one of the nearby food stalls.

Finally, having seated her at the table, we plonked the cake (cup-cakes) in front of her, rushed to get the candles lit, yanked off her blind-fold and gave her the best rendition of Happy Birthday that we could muster in the food court.

And........mission accomplished!! (^.^)v

Thanks again, to the people who took the effort to make it there (it's okay Sim, you'd do just fine for your mid-terms next week, after all it's just how you 'balance your time', right? xD; I still have no clue how you made it there Kit Meng, but I really appreciate that you made the effort to come for this event, don't worry, it'll be anywhere BUT One U the next time, haha; an hour and a half is quite a lengthy period of time but you endured the bus ride anyway and even had to end up going back all the way to Cyberjaya late, you're really a great assistant supervisor, Kelvin Tay, I appreciate the effort you put in a hundred-percent!),

to those who helped out with the planning (thanks Mabel, for stepping in and taking the trouble to do so many things, sorry you had to skip class but honestly you made it all possible; thanks Desiree for asking on Sunday about going out, because we otherwise wouldn't have thought of planning something; and of course, the not-bad-wor Sue Ann who not only made the cup-cakes but also actually called up some of the rest),

and to iTalk, for making all the phone discussions possible without burning through huge chunks of prepaid credit.

And what a relief. Another Shirtliff reunion (with extra help) scored!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAGGIE!

Up and up and up and click...........WHOOOSH!!!

2008-06-20T00:54:00.002+08:00

This post is best read by those who have not sat on the Solero Space Shot in Genting

Now this is probably too cliched to even post about, because the odds are 98% of you people out there would have had sat on the Solero Space Shot in Genting before at least once in the last 3 years. A quick Google image search revealed all too quickly that Genting trips and the Solero ride have been pretty much blogged about to death. The title would be something like "Genting Retreat" and then what follows is a whole plethora of pictures with small little captions here and there. Sigh~

So it's pretty disappointing to realise that I actually had to wait until now to get the chance to board a theme park ride that I remember seeing some 5 years back in the advertisements, but then again who am I to complain? I'd sooner get slapped with some disaster-front-page rolled-up newspaper, I know, so I guess I'm really grateful to have made the trip up to the cool highlands two days ago.

Oh yea, what really happened is that together with three other friends (all guys) we went and got ourselves the one-day-trip tickets (which sells at RM 42 for bus+skyway+full park+skyway+bus vs RM 51 for full park alone if bought separately).

Two of the guys were my old schoolmates, and it was certainly great to be able to get together again because once everyone hits college you know it's next to impossible to even meet up for small yam cha sessions anymore...it just so happened that we're all free, and quite likely it would be the last time we could do anything else like this.

But back to the trip. For the most part I think I really enjoyed the rides that we went on. Especially in go-kart, because Suresh (one of my old schoolmates) got a really slow kart, and I pulled off one of those F1 cornering-cut uber-cool moments on him, super fun!! (^.^) It's not so much the ride though I guess, it's just having good company to enjoy. It's like watching a movie in a cinema, I'd rather watch a lame show with a bunch of friends than to go watch something better all by myself. But having said that, I went on the Solero Space Shot by myself because I was so dissatisfied by the fact that 3 months ago I had to give it a miss due to the massive queue and although the wait was excrutiatingly long (half-an-hour for a ride that's 10 seconds??) I'm so glad I went ahead (one was afraid of heights and the other had stomach problem, one more joined me later) because I believe to experience the same kind of rush you'd need something like skydiving (which isn't covered in any sort of theme park deal that I know of) or a suicide jump off a 10-storey building (which is free but...). It's SO awesome!!

If I were made the Prime Minister, I would've made it mandatory for everyone to go ride it at least once, buahahahaha xD

Investment

2008-06-15T01:10:00.003+08:00

When you invest in something, you would naturally hope to gain or reap benefit of some sort one way or another either in the near future or in the distant years. But when they call marriage an 'investment', it just somehow doesn't seem quite right to me. Does the husband expect to earn something at the end of the day? Does the wife seek to gain a decent profit sometime in the future? Or are they mutually investing in each other, so that they may enjoy the fruits of one another's labor?

Far be it that I should know anything about marriage other than that's how I came to be, but I guess the many nuggets of wisdom imparted at today's wedding must've somehow found their way into my central thought processing centre. But it was awesome. A bit longer than you'd expect, perhaps, but awesome.

I hope I have the permission to put this picture up, haha.
Congratulations Rach and Guan!!

And here's to all the behind-the-scenes hard work put in by people from all the different areas of their lives, be them relatives, friends, church members or what-nots. It's always the unseen ones who are responsible for a good part of big-event weddings like this one, kudos to everyone!

Lately

2008-06-14T02:25:00.003+08:00

Lately, I realised I had not been blogging about anything substantial...

Lately, I realised I had not been doing anything substantial....

Lately, I realised I had not been thinking about anything substantial.....

Lately, I realised I had been living a life that's not very substantial.......

For more reasons than one, I've been feeling pretty angsty lately (no need to guess, angsty isn't a word). I've had far more free time on my hands than I ever imagined, and to be honest I had not been a very good steward with them...staying up late (like now) and waking up even later (like 12!!!!! It's very depressing because I'm the kind that only responds to physical contact, so the loudest alarms can buzz away without so much as to make me move a finger) can apparently have very detrimental effects on your mental health. Which I believe is why I'm so out-of-myself lately...getting worked up easily, getting annoyed for no reason, getting frustrated at the slightest trouble or difficulty and frankly, the worst is just plain apathy.

And what better way to express angst than to draw it out:

Okay okay, so it doesn't look as angsty as I had hoped it would but that aside....I've got a lot on my mind now, and I think it would take me a while before I can properly come to my senses again. I guess understanding my own psyche would be a nice opportunity to practice for uni, heh.

Music Catch

2008-06-09T23:49:00.002+08:00

Don't know if this came from any particular music maestro, but it's the background music for this game called Music Catch (here at http://www.kongregate.com/games/Reflexive/music-catch) which I highly recommend you give a try because it's such a simple and relaxing game :D But if you do have a few minutes to spare and wanna get some thoughts in your head shaped up, click on the song to play it and just wander away in your mind ;D

2008-06-05T02:38:00.002+08:00

Excerpt from Carrie Underwood's So Small

It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big, at the time
It's like a river that's so wide
It swallows you whole

While you're sittin round thinking about what you can't change
And worryin' about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count, cause you can't get it back...

Answered

2008-05-26T21:58:00.002+08:00

It's all too easy to bury yourself in doubt, to try and grab with your own small hands the huge clusters of uncertainties that follow us all the time in the name of living a life here on humble earth...

True, I was pretty annoyed and unhappy over how I failed my first round of driving exam. I failed before even actually hitting the real tarmacs. But the things that took place, the happenings that happened and the stuff that went on while I fast-forwarded my life to the following exam two weeks later only seemed to say one thing: who are you of little faith to question the way of the LORD?

I certainly had a good dose of surprises lately: The LORD opened new and totally unexpected doors. I was roped in for Parents' Appreciation Night. A friend came back from the faraway fields of America. I'm doing my quiet time more often (but still never enough of course). I passed my driving exam. Oh wait, sorry bout that. I PASSED MY DRIVING EXAM!!!!

Headed over to the driving school at the crack of dawn today, to see the faces of the instructors and examiners there again. To sit and frolic in the cloud of smoke (cigarette and automobile). To chat with fellow 'also-failed-road-test' friends.

I prayed did pray quite earnestly for this, because I didn't want to burn anymore cash on retaking the exams...it's bad enough that they force you waste a whole entire day there. And how the LORD answered....

Comparatively speaking, I certainly enjoyed this revisit to the driving school a lot more...being there for the second time kinda makes you feel like you're a pro I guess, haha. I knew what I had to do this time... I sat in the first row of chairs while waiting for their registration counter to open. And I was the first person to register. Muahaha~

So far so good, I went to wait for my turn at the road-test area. Having two friends around to chit-chat with sure made a lot of difference, even though I only knew them two weeks ago xD Thanks Elaine and Ian for the company! By the time I had registered, it was about 8.30 plus. They had about five or six JPJ instructors today, and each instructor took examinees in stacks of seven or more. I was at the top of one of those stacks. And off I went at 9.00, probably one of the first to take to the roads today :D

This time around, the handbrake took a backseat and there were no mati-enjin fiascoes to be had, fortunately :) Along the route, everything was smooth-sailing and I certainly could feel that God was with me all the way......I'm really thankful that He answered my prayers so perfectly, He never ceases to amaze me. Back at the driving school fifteen minutes later, the JPJ officer gave me a nice and cozy 17/20 to take back home. Not Hamis Lewilton or anything of that sort yet, that's for sure but it more than sufficed for me (^.^)

But all these when set against a backdrop of constantly turning away from God, constantly shutting him out from the things that I do....I know I'm at a crossroad of sorts spiritually. I either buck up, or I'll just end up pulling up sooner or later. Rest assured though, I'm not quite gonna give in just yet ;D In fact, the fight's just only begun...

To Be A Friend

2008-05-20T01:04:00.004+08:00

Church camp's over and done, but since I have no photos yet I'd save the post for later..

It never fails to surprise me how most of the time we only know a teeny-weeny bit of a person. And I do mean, a teeny-weeny bit...

Whenever I find myself in a conversation, the thing that I always hope to avoid is to have a person tell you that there's something going on with them but when pressed a little further they serve you with "Oh, it's nothing lah." Don't take me wrongly here, it's not that I'd be angry with the person or anything, but rather I kinda feel dissatisfied with myself whenever I hit that sort of dead end in a conversation. Of course, it's understandable that you don't go around telling people that you have a pimple on your backside or anything of that sort, but to me it makes me feel that the person who's keeping a secret (let's say it's not a ridiculous pimple-on-the-backside one but rather something more serious and personal) doesn't trust me enough. This would of course be because I don't that person well enough. Which actually means to say that I did not make enough effort to know that person better. Which is not very nice, because I really prefer deeper-level friendships and not just being acquaintances..

Lately the question came about and made me wonder: what kind of a friend am I to the others around me?

Now I believe that my natural personality is more introverted and I'd happily be an island every now and then, but I know that I also enjoy being in the position to bless those of you out there whom I have the privilege to call 'friends' either in big or minor ways. But opportunities to help your friends largely depend on how much you know about them. And when I find that I know so little about someone, it would seem like almost insulting to even offer any sort of help...

I can only imagine what it's like to know someone through and through, to feel the hurt and share the pain, to cry the tears and laugh the joys. Everyone has their own ugly side and closet of skeletons, and being such a friend would surely take a lot of love and patience, but it also means that you are in the best possible position to render help whenever necessary. You would know what's gonna work and wouldn't, you would say only the right things and never fear offending that friend with the wrong choice of words, you would know how best to serve the needs of that friend.

And how profound it is, when the Lord sees me as that friend.

He knows me like the back of His hand, he shares with my thoughts and listens to my cries, He knows exactly the best way to help me sail through the troubles that find their way to the fragile hull of my soul. He sees me for all the worst things that I am, but never once said He would take leave. He is the one who cares to care, and I am that friend who cannot be any more grateful than to call Jesus as Saviour AND a true blue best of the very best friend!

Wonder if I woule ever have the privilege to be the kind of intimate friend to others in the way that Jesus is to me...

On a side note, all the Blind Zorro and Sorrow the sister stuff must've gotten into my head, because the only thing I did after getting back home was to draw this..

I must've spent close to four hours on this...better go hit the bed now :D

Liberacion!

2008-05-17T00:42:00.003+08:00

16th of May is traditionally celebrated as Teacher's Day here in Malaysia and other parts of the world (I think) and it so happened that I had the chance to end my teaching stint at SMK USJ 13 on this very meaningful day too :D

Having worked for close to 2 months, teaching's a bittersweet experience I must say..bitter when you get students who couldn't give a care whether you were in the class, but sweet it is when you have students whom you can get along with and be sort of a friend to.

I've had my fair share of hits and misses along the way in the last 40 days I signed on to the job of a 'temporary replacement teacher' and now I'm free again to squander my living daylights for the next month or so..it won't be long before I post again about how boring it is to have nothing to do I feel :D

Goodbye SMK USJ 13..

Goodbye Doctor Brand chalk...

Goodbye pile of books that never seem to go away....

Goodbye to all you young ones who still have to slug it out for exams.....

It's been a great experience, I'd be sure to take the time to really think about all the things that I had learned from this job..something tells me I'd miss that Pas Keluar ;D

Ger-de-bum

2008-05-12T21:26:00.002+08:00

That, my friends, is the sound of disappointment....

Today I had finally went for my driving test and while I wasn't very fond of driving I certainly didn't mind getting myself a P license to drive around. Off I went in the early morning, and I cannot imagine how they can force you to wait the whole entire day just for a 5 minutes exam...

My first test was the practical driving, and they sure took a long time to handle their paperwork and stuff, because it wasn't until 12 plus that my turn came around. I had been there since 7.30, and waiting for 5 hours without having anything to do (I brought an MP3 player but foolishly left the headphones at home) left me somewhat half-dead. Brain-dead. I'm saying that because I failed the practical driving test in a glorious 2-minutes time frame from the moment I got into the car...

Here's the breakdown:-
-enter car
-check mirror
-check seat
-check wiper
-check signals
-check gear engagement
-check whatever else there were to check

"Boleh jalan encik?" ------"Boleh~"

Floored the clutch, swapped to gear one, pressed the accelerator and *ger-de-bum*

Finger pointing at the raised handbrake, "Dua chance lagi." Right. Okay. Come on man, 2 minutes and the car is stalled already...

Dropped the stupid, STUPID handbrake then restarted the car. Turned the ignition key and *ger-de-bum* I had left the gear in gear one from just now, much to my unfortunate forgetfulness...

""Uh-hem, satu chance lagi" he said worriedly. "Boleh ke ni?" was exactly how bad his first impressions of my driving un-skills were...

Drove a bit, made a U-turn and just when I was gonna exit the driving school, he squashed the parallel brake and made my car stall. "You sudah over itu white line lah." "Hah? Tapi saya nampak lagi white line itu?" "Sudah....." And that wrapped it all up into the three-mati-enjins exit concert that I was given after having waited the whole day sitting on the benches trying to maintain my sanity.....bah.

At the very least I did manage to pass the slope and parking tests I suppose...I've got two more weeks to prepare myself and get there again into that darn driving school, and hopefully this time I'd remember to be more careful with the handbrakes...

The Department Of Psychology

2008-05-11T22:43:00.002+08:00

Letters letters letters...I've been getting a few lately, but one letter came in as a surprise. It was marked with the insignia of The Star at the top left corner at the front.

"Oh, I'm called for interview!", I exclaimed to myself half-surprised.

*rips open the letter* Dear bla bla bla, you have been called for yada yada at the following ABCDE and please bring along your this and that and everything else. Great.

The Star Scholarship, as offered by the company every year allows you to choose any university and course of your liking (in a long list they provide you) so long as you qualify for the said course. I ran through the list and it took me no more than 5 minutes to narrow my selection down to a handful of courses that I can qualify for. From that list, I gave it another quick run-through and in the end I penned down the following: Degree in Psychology from Sunway University College. Yeap. It was a 'since I won't qualify just simply only lah' kind of decision..

So when the letter came, it was a half-surprise. Half. I did expect qualifying for it but didn't think I would quite get it...

The interview took place at the Department of Psychology's labs, and I was actually late, late for it. Not too late, but as the woman at the Info Centre would say, "normally people would come a bit earlier for interviews." Of COURSE...even more peculiar was the fact that I was the only guy out of the dozen or so people who took the interview. Hmmm...

I think I fared pretty well for the interview, but the part that undid my brilliant efforts in the initial part of the interview was the last question that the interviewers (three of them) posed to me: "So, tell us what you know about what we do here in the Department Of Psychology."

*blankstare*...........................................*blanklook*

"To be honest, I didn't do my homework on that."

*pokerface expression* "Okay." *ticks something*

And that was the end of it. Really had no idea what the interviewer ticked on the paper, could've been 'Stupid' or 'Honest' for all I know but they also said "Good" at some point, so I don't know if I could offset the blunder with my earlier responses to their questions, which I thought were pretty okay. On the whole the experience was pretty kan-cheong and all, even though I told myself that it doesn't matter how well I do it because it's in the LORD's hands. I mean, these are Psychologists you're dealing with...and it doesn't help that I have this impression that psychologists can worm their ways into your psyche and then come back out in the span of a short 5-minutes conversation without you even realizing it. Regardless of whether that's nonsense or not, it left me pretty twitched, having to wait in the guest area of the laboratory (I came last, so I was the last to be interviewed) for almost two hours before they called me up.

They said they would let me know of the result in about a week...until then, I'd probably take the time to read up on what they do there in that department of theirs :)

Hey Man, How Have You Been Doing?

2008-05-08T22:30:00.002+08:00

Most of us RBS-ers would've gotten the send-to-your-future-self letters that we were asked to write at the very end of RBS. I wrote one myself of course, and had been waiting for it for some time, and had almost forgotten about it until it came in the mail for me today.

The title of this post was the opening line of the letter that I had penned on the 31st of January. It wasn't long, didn't say much, but it's surprising to see that I kinda foresaw where I would end up post-RBS and sadly, many of the things which I had hoped whilst still in RBS that they would take a turn for the better in the months after leaving Uncle Dexter and company did not, or more optimistically, have not.

The letter was a nudge-poke of sorts that I had written in the hopes of keeping myself in check..and kept me in check it has. I forgot that at RBS God had showed me so much more than I had asked for, I left in the lurch the many spiritual discoveries that had struck me, I laid aside the promises that I vowed to keep.

Without even so much as to do anything, I've let 3 months slip by since the end of RBS. It's time, time to re-examine, and to take a good look again at where I am now. I need to make sure that I'm still on track, and while we're at it, I'd much prefer to be on the right track ;D

I've got a few things on my hands now, with Sunway being one of them tomorrow...I hope it's not as 'goreng' as it was the last time I had to meet those representatives from The Star...full report about it tomorrow kay ;D

How Can I Stand Here And Not Be Moved By You

2008-05-02T13:56:00.002+08:00

In the book of Job, he lamented that he had done no wrong to deserve the woe that had befallen him. He lost his family, his wealth, his friends, his dignity and practically everything else that could be taken away from him. Many times he had wanted to plead his case with God, to put it into argument, to find out just exactly why he had been treated so unjustly and unfairly. He cursed the day he was born, understandably because he simply could not take it anymore, living in suffering and, most importantly, seemingly separated from the presence of God.

It's ironic though, because I find myself being the anti-Job, in the way that I am convinced I had done more than enough wrong to condemn my soul to eternal death, and yet the LORD would never cease to lend a hand to raise me up time and again. At the risk of being self-righteous, I question why the LORD wouldn't just send down a rain of sulphur, annihilate me from the face of earth and just get it over and done with, and move on to another more 'worthy' soul. And it's funny how I can say that, because it puts me in a 'holier-than-God' position...For all it's worth, God's love is more than any soul can fathom, more than any computer can compute, more than any ruler can measure. I can only thank Him that He first loved me.

How can I stand here and not be moved by You...

Catching Up

2008-04-27T17:08:00.002+08:00

Note: Long post about a reunion I managed to organize in the following paragraphs, you may skip this if you're looking for photos instead, because I didn't have any to put up.....yet :D

I'll be the first to say that it's never an easy task to try to organize anything among a bunch of college kids who have totally different timetables and schedules...you can never seem to find that one golden slot in the calendar when everyone is free and can make it for the event that you're planning.

In the last two weeks I took it upon myself that there was gonna be a reunion of sorts for Shirtliff (no, not the cheerleading team) RBS mission team and it was supposed to take place at Aunty Yoke Kheng's place. Aunty Yoke Kheng was the chirpy supervisor for our mission trip and she offered her apartment as the venue. In the process of organizing, after what must've seemed like countless dead-ends and impossibilities, I finally managed to narrow it down to one date, the 26th of April (which was yesterday). And it was going to be a dinner. And after even more negotiation, it was turned into a sleepover. Now there were originally 9 members altogether in the team, and here's the breakdown:

Supervisor: Aunty Yoke Kheng
Asst. Supervisor: Kelvin Tay
Team Leader: Me!
Asst. Team Leader: Ann Sue
Members: Simon Sim, Maggie, Jon Lee and Kit Meng and Jill

Initially it all seemed pretty well and there was hope that we could make it a full-blown gathering with everyone around. At the end of it though, it became like this:

Kelvin Tay: Exam and stayed too far away
Maggie: Cousin leaving for overseas for 5 years, had to attend farewell dinner
Kit Meng: Understandable lah, since he's in NS
Jon Lee: Lazy bum too lazy to make his way to the apartment, and had LAN class on Saturday
Jill: Can come but cannot stay-over at the apartment

Some simple mathematics would suffice to tell you that less than half of the team was actually able to make it for the sleepover event in the end. Haih~

BUT, but but but, it wasn't all doom and gloom because we did manage to catch up on a lot of things, amongst the five of us who were there for the dinner and later the four of us who stayed till the wee hours of the morning chatting away....

What really amazed me though was how the whole thing turned out so so well. SO WELL!! Let me explain what I mean:

On Saturday evening, the plan was for Jill to fetch me and Simon at Lick Hung (hope it's the correct spelling) at about 6. I joined Simon for TRU and when TRU finished, Jill's message came, saying she's on her way. I had thought of walking from the church to the school, but I felt we were gonna be late so I tried to see if we could tumpang somebody's car and we SO HAPPEN managed to hitch a ride with Uncle Chooi Meng and arrived there early. Jill reached about three minutes after we did. *Phew!*

Now, me and Simon are in the car. The plan was to pick Ann Sue up at the Kelana Jaya LRT station at 7. We reached there and got her at 6.50. "Early some more, great!" I thought to myself. Next we were supposed to meet up with Aunty Yoke Kheng at One U because her apartment is nearby, but it turned out that Jill knew how to get there and we reached her apartment earlier than she did, because she went out to buy our dinner. Woohoo, first-part of the journey accomplished successfully!

We ate like crazy and we talked like crazy. Jill left early because she had another place to go to, and we were left to our own devices; me, Aunty Yoke Kheng , Simon and Ann Sue. We went out to Old Town at about 12+ and came back around 2, then slept about two hours later xD

Next morning we woke up later than expected and couldn't have breakfast together, so the three of us (me Simon Ann Sue) were dropped off at Taman Bahagia LRT station and we made our way to Sentral to have our breakfast. Again, we still had time to chit-chat and slowly chow down our Sausage Mc Muffins. Then came the time to leave, and we were kinda late because Simon had to get back to church in time for the Youth Committee meeting (since he's the President and all). The time to beat was 11.30, and we went into the Sentral KTM station at 10.44. Simon walked down the stairs and almost beyond our mortal imagination we saw the train coming BEFORE the time shown on the LED board. Unbelievable, I know ;D And as if that wasn't enough, the train pulled to a stop with one of the doors right smack in front of Simon. Awesome!!! Now that's something that I always look forward to whenever I board the KTM, to have it stop with the doors sliding open in front of you xD

The train didn't make any 'recharging battery' stops and chugged all the way to Subang. We alighted and the time was 11.10. My dad wasn't there yet, so we waited and it did feel like very long, because with every ticking second Simon's chance of being in time for the minute grew slimmer. Finally I called my dad again to check if he's arrived, and he said he had! We rushed to the car and I told Simon that he would make it back just in the nick of time. "You'll be back at 11.30 sharp, Sim". And so it was, 11.30 on his watch and we were outside the church. Like, whoa! It doesn't get much better than this, really.

Truly the LORD was with us all the way, from the time we took off from the church to the very moment we stepped foot into it again the next day. No hiccups, no "oh no" moments, nothing at all. I prayed, and God answered. What more could I have asked for ;D

Super Quick Update

2008-04-24T16:55:00.003+08:00

Like the name implies, here's a super quick update on my work, or rather workplace :D

Taken with my webcam - one of those rare moments when everyone's out in classrooms.

Doeo!

2008-04-22T12:04:00.003+08:00

It has been ages upon ages since I last posted a flash game, because it's hard to find something that everyone can play together and at the same time compete over some high score or something..

The last time we squabbled over the monkey ball game it was certainly hilarious to check the scores every 5 minutes to see who's at the top, and equally agonizing to see that your scores are not even in the top 5 xD Below's a really weird and funky Flash game that isn't so much about scores and how to get more of them, but about having fun playing it ;D Enjoy!

Sidetrack

2008-04-19T01:58:00.002+08:00

If you're expecting a post about my current job as a teacher, then you have my apologies, I'm keeping that for another day xD I just thought that I should blog about what took place just now.

Yes, just now. Like, '2 hours' just now. Tanjonny and Simon_vindicated and yours truly here went out to the nearby mamak to chit-chat and gulp down some heavily-sugared drinks, and of course we engaged in our usual round of talk and discussions about this and that and everything else.

We talked about teachers, and teaching as a job; about marketing people and 'management recovery'; about Vision 2020 and flying cars and Archie comics; about smoking and coming out with health cigarettes; about Goo Goo Dolls and Randy Jackson playing bass; about Jon's new SonyE phone and how much it costs and how he can't spin it on tabletops anymore like he did with his old trusty Samsung; and even about our fellow blogger who's in Aussie now, Currynoodles :D

But the more interesting part of the night was definitely in how we branched into discussions on.. non-material subjects (not sure how to put this). We brainstormed on so many different thoughts and ideas that are not...material, so to speak. We talked about dreams, supernatural events and then delved very far into the topics related to the mind and the subconscious part of our existence. In no way can I possibly describe the discussion in detail, but it was seemingly...eerie, in the way that we were grasping at unknowns and debating without any real plausible proof or substantial evidence. All we had were arguments and we kept throwing them into the melting pot of ideas which soon bubbled and simmered under the fire of our engrossing speeches. I had really wished that we had the discussion recorded down, it certainly would've been really really interesting to recollect what we went over together in our own limited wisdom and experience, because this kind of deep intellectual and philosophical conversations tend to have a very fleeting hold in our memory, and surely enough by the time we finished we could hardly remember the meat of most of what we blabbered about.

I just wish we had it recorded down one way or another...

Preview

2008-04-15T10:38:00.002+08:00

There are quite a few things that I could rant/rave about my current job at the 'the place near my house' but I'll save it for tonight I guess. But just for teasers, here's a picture :D

Frisbee

2008-04-12T22:30:00.005+08:00

What's a public field, if you don't put it to good use and what's putting it to good use, if you don't use it to host a sports tournament of some sort, and what's a sports tournament if it doesn't involve throwing the round piece of plastic that we love to call...the frisbee!

I'm not particularly into this sport in any way, and didn't even remotely take part in the competition save for helping to tabulate some scores in the beginning but it's nice to know that there are so many people out there actually who are into this whole 'I throw you catch' phenomenon.

As in any tournament or competition, it takes a whole lot of effort and coordination to get things going smoothly and perfectly, as demonstrated by the hilarious moments that ensued when the stubborn PC microphone just refused to pipe in a live connection to the speakers. But then again, it was actually quite cool to have announcements pre-recorded and played later ;D Kudos to everyone who was involved in the tournament, all the hard work and effort would eventually pay themselves off someday, I'm sure :D

I managed to snap quite a few pics here and there with my fresh set of rechargeable AAs, but the best ones were taken by someone else who ran around with my camera, whom I have no idea who it was. Thanks anyway for the shots, Jud! (I think).

Our very own line of first-aid members on standby, how's that for being professional? :D
Okay, maybe not ours but still...

The competition under way.

But the more interesting part of the day was definitely having some Temerloh youths over for a short visit here. And of course we got the chance to meet up again with Jason and Khai Jye :)

Who doesn't miss Khai Jye's smile around here, heh xD

We managed to squeeze in some time for a short session of getting to know each other over the outdoor games and also the lunch that followed. Wielding my trusty ol' camera, I got off the hook of 'everyone must play' and stood around trying to capture the funnier moments of the charades that they played (it's always a blast to play charades).

And to top it off..
Try to guess the character they were trying to portray, hahaha xD

Khai Jye notices the camera even when everyone else couldn't and whips up his trademark smile just in time for the shutter :D

It was a great day for the most part, though it was a shame that we couldn't accompany the Temerloh people to Pyramid for their shopping trip. Oh well, it'll be our turn next to visit them in Mentakab and Temerloh. But by then, I had better get my 'half-bucket-of-water' Mandarin brushed up to an acceptable level...

Sunny? Sweaty? No problem at all ;D

One anorexic-looking kid and a temporary teacher bored out of his skull after the Temerloh group got on their way to Sunway for their shopping quest.

And the clincher...taken from the recent Beijing Olympics adverts, here's our brilliant Jonathan Tan doing his bit for the biggest sporting event of the year!

Quote: As a coach for the upcoming Olympics, I always tell my athletes that "You are what you eat". Eat garbage, and you're more likely than not heading for an early exit. Eat right however, and you would be able to bring out the very best in yourselves. Whether it is in running or jumping or any form of sport that we're competing in, I insist that my boys get only what they deserve. Real athletes need real food, and real food needs real quality. That's why I believe in McDonald's. Great nutrition, greater taste.

Oh yea, happy birthday Mr.Tan!!!

International Month Of Tagging

2008-04-09T23:59:00.003+08:00

Ya know, the tag doesn't work half as well lah since I've already read it but I'd do it anyway xD

rules:
1. name 5 people you can think of right off the top of your head.
2. don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 5 people.
3. randomly list the names. no cheating!

the 5 people:

1.Justina Lee
2.Ann Sue
3.Lee Zhen Ee
4.Simon Sim
5.Christina How

The names were not exactly 'right off the top of my head' but close enough lah. And the randomizer I used was a pencil and a piece of paper (*closes eye* poke! oh, simon's number 4...)

questions:

1. how did you meet 1?
Back when Justin used to come back to Kuantan every now and then for our annual gaming sessions, I had always seen her around but only really knew her better in the last two years or so :D

2. on a scale of 1 -10 how would you rate your friendship with 1?
Unrate-able, since we're cousins ;D

3. how long have you known 4?
It's been....pretty long. Back when I was Form 4. So that makes it about 5 years now.

4. how do you know number 3?
Sat beside him on my first week in the new school after shifting here from Kuantan

5. wheres 5?
Probably online now or watching some Korean music video, at home of course.

6. a fact about number 1?
She's chun in her own special ways xD

7. who is 4 going out with?
Sim Simon Sim...I'll skip this, heheh.

8. what does 1 do for a living?
Going to college lor.

9. would you live with number 3?
We would be fighting pretty often, haha. And playing a lot of PS2 too xD

10. what do you like about number 2?
Never short on smiles..and 'smart' remarks about bears.

11. do you miss number 5?
I miss the going-outs and all lah of course, back when Justin was still around (you see Ju, you're a very important part of the friendship-chain here)

12. would you make out with number 4?
Eating out would be more preferable..

13. what's your opinion of number 2?
Not too bad lah.

14. what's your favorite memory with number 5?
Walking in the rain!! To date I've not found another person who likes that sort of thing, haha.

15. what would you do if number 1 and 2 were going out?
That would be...another blog post altogether.

16. ever had a long conversation with 5?
Yeap..

17. have you ever slept at 2's house?
I'd have to be pretty bold to do that xD

18. do you hang out with 3 a lot?
Okay-lah~

19. who have you known the longest?
It feels like I've known Simon forever, but on technical grounds it's Justina

20. how often do you talk to 1?
Normally on Sundays when I see her.

21. what about 2?
SMS more lah, calling is expensive. Besides, you're not a phone person, right Ann Sue? Or maybe I just don't know you enough..

22. have you ever thought 3 more than a friend?
Yes, a crappy friend!!

23. would you go out for a date with 5?
Huh...it would be pretty stressful to have to measure up to the likes of those Korean heartthrobs, what with the romantic songs and romantics one-liners and romantic hairdos and romantic what-have-yous....

24. do you dream about 2?
Nah, fortunately I can escape the 'brother bear' chants while in slumberland..

25. what did no 4 did to you that you can never forget?
The way he rolled on the floor laughing about the Tasek Bera incident..

26. what have you done for 1 that the person never forget?
How would I know? xD

27.what's 3 hobby?
Doing crappy stuff lah!

28. tag 5 people
I follow Christina's trend. All the above mentioned...

And It Was

2008-04-06T20:28:00.003+08:00

And so he sat there, staring blankly into the computer screen trying to come up with something to write about. "Something, anything!", he shrugged to himself. Not that he had nothing to write about, no no no. Clouds of memories were called upon in his mind, but he simply could not figure out what to put in print. Should he post about his driving today? Or maybe the working experience of the past week. Or perhaps delve into the spiritual side of things. Post a song? Copy some lyrics? He couldn't decide. He just couldn't decide..

And so he let his mind wander. It's been a while since he found himself in such a contemplative manner. Listening to a line from Juwita Suwito, "Is this all that life is meant to be, surely there's more" rang ever more familiar and heartfelt than before. In his own space of mind, he finds security in the little things that make up his perception of reality. Family, home, friends, church, studies. He is seemingly calm on both sides of the soul, spiritually at ease and physically in good health. A little up here and a small down there of course, but otherwise he has little to boast or complain about.

And that's how he is now, contented. Going about in his life like any other normal person. But in the deep recesses of his mental sanctuary, he kept tucked away piles and piles of ideas, images, speeches and thought bubbles that he had gathered over time. Some he wished he hadn't acquired, others he thought made no relevance to him, and still left over are what he considered to be 'serious issues' that he bring out onto the whiteboard to ponder upon every now and then. Ah yes, the 'serious issues'. The kind that made Kee Ken feel small. Very small, in the face of what happens in the world. Life, is...so precarious, he concludes. Oh but to look at life through the eyes of another.....that would be his one and only wish if he had a choice.

And he sat there, sifting through the slow and steady influx of thoughts as he allowed his mind to be immersed in a silent swim down the torrents of 'reality'. His reality. The questions burst into the front, and he ran them along the 'how' part of his electrical gray matter. How we all sit idly while so many people in the world have to live in desperation. How nations are putting money into killing machines, and not feeding the poor. How we can look at matters so shortsightedly and blatantly ignore the real problems gnawing away at the world, our planet.

And he thought of the answers he that he himself would give as a member of what he considered as the 'lost sheep' of the earth that we live in. "It's a dog-eat-dog world, the poor are simply the ones who are eaten; it's more important to protect national interests with military might than looking after some petty social welfare issues; there would be no incentive for excellence if everyone is equally taken care of; the planet would still be around for at least another million years; who cares if somebody dies every 3 seconds since the planet is overcrowded anyway; this is the way 'reality' operates you buffoon, you just gotta go along and LIVE WITH IT!!!"

And so he lost again, to the side of him that is.... more in tune with the 'real world'. Who was he to stop the world in its tracks and tell everyone off? Till death do the people part with this sinful broken world, he declared and his split-persona then faded into its watchful slumber once again..

Tag 3

2008-04-06T19:47:00.002+08:00

I've taken the liberty to cut out questions that I've answered before, just so I don't have to fill in so many of them :) And some of Jon's answers remain simply because I agree (and am lazy), hehe.

4. Height: 165

5. Hair: Jet Black

6. Siblings: One bro, one sis

7. Do u like to sing in the shower? Sure.

8. Do u like to sing in the toilet? My shower is my toilet, so "Sure".

9. Sign: Virgo

11. Addresses: Private, heh.

ABOUT GUYS FOR GIRLS TO FILL OUT (for girls only)

*I'll fil it anyway!!! mauahahahah!!!

14. Boxers or briefs: briefs!

15. Long or short hair: Short

16. Tall or short: Abt 170 - 175 just nice..LOL

17. Six pack or muscular arms: A little bit of both :P

18. Good or bad guy: Good

19. Hat or No Hat: HAT???!!!

20. Ears pierced or not: No

21. Tan or fair: Fairly tanned

22. Stubble or neatly shaved: Neatly shaved.

23. Rugged or sporty: Er...

24. Hottie or cutie: Both

25. Accent or not: Irish....definitely irish.

ABOUT GIRLS FOR GUYS TO FILL OUT (for guys only)

26. Regular underwear or thong: I'll have a regular, thank you xD

27. Painted nails or not: No need colour colour wan

28. Bra or sports bra: If go sports wear lar sports bra...takan you wear that fer prom!!! DOH!

29. Cute n' mysterious or wild n' sexy : cute n'sexy!

30. Dressy or casual : Dressy when needed, casual when suitable

31. Dark or blonde hair: Black/SLIGHT Highlights

32. Long or short hair: Long, but short also can.

33. Dark or light eyes: -

34. Tall or short: Shorter or same height, but taller also...can kua xD

35. Hat or no hat: I think gurls who wear caps and let their ponytails stick out are cute...HAHAHAH!!

36. Good or bad girl: Girl of God

38. Hair up or down: Both

39. Jewelry or none: None.

41. Curly or straight hair: Straight

42. Pants or dress: Both

43. Tan or fair: Fairly tanned

44. Freckles or none: none

45. Accent or Not: Preferably no.

46. Shy or outgoing: In between.

THIS IS 4 EVERYONE 2 FILL IN!

47. Chocolate (dark, white, milk): All!

48. Root beer or Dr. Pepper: Root Beer

50. Sun shine or rain: Both!

52. Skiing or boarding: Never tried either

53. Day or night: Night coz its peace and quiet.

55. Love or lust: Love!

56. Silver or gold: Silver, cause gold looks tacky

57. Diamond or pearl: Diamonds, pearls too aunty for me :D

58. Sunset or sunrise: Sunrise (absolutely the best)

59. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping: Skinny...huh?

60. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: Nope.

61. Have you ever broke/sprained/fractured a bone: Nope.

62. Do you have any piercings: Never.

63. What's your favourite color: Yellow

64. What's your favourite bands?: No favs at the moment.

65. What colour pants/skirt are you wearing right now?: Grey Blue Toms pants

66. What song are u listening to right now?: Hmm..just only listened to Finally by Fergie

67. What are the last four digits of your phone number?: Private!

68. What was the last thing u ate?: Chicken Wing Rice with Siu Yok

69. If u were a crayon, what colour would u want to be?: I'd be a Sky Blue

70. Where would you want to go on your honeymoon?: She'd pick :D

71. Who do u want to spend the rest of your life with?: God Almighty.

72. Do u like snow, sun or rain?: I like them all, save for snow which I don't know for sure yet.

73. How is the weather right now: It just rained, very airy and breezy now.

74. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?: The way they dress (I mean, you look at that first right? Don't tell me you won't notice somebody until she talks or something..)

76. Do u like the person that sent u this?: If not I won't be answering this :D

77. How are u today?: Not too bad, just tired from the driving class today :)

78. Your fave drink?: Teh-C Ping!

79. How do u eat an Oreo?: Normally I start with opening the packaging it's in..

80. Favourite sport you play: Badminton

81. What makes you happy and whats your favourite subject?: To know I didn't waste my day... my fav. subject is Form 4&5 Physics

82. What's da next cd u (gonna buy)? "Heard", a Christian Mandarin album. OR a Nicole Nordeman album.

86. Do u wear contacts or glasses?: Glasses

87. What's the best advice given to you? : You're still young, don't be afraid to venture out.

88. Have u ever won any special awards?: Highest in MUET!! (only award I ever won)

89. What are your future goals?: To serve the Lord.

90. Fave music?: English, Malay, Chinese, Jap

91. Fave day of the year?: Every day that I wake up to :)

92. Are u shy to ask someone out?: Yeah, which explains why I'm always the 'callee' rather than caller for yam-cha sessions :D

93. Worst sickness u ever had?: High fever, 41 Celcius (you die at 42)

94. What's the stupidest thing u have ever done?: Stupidest huh...like not having picked up something useful in my childhood days (sports/musical instrument/art)

95. Do you like Funny or Scary movies better?: Funny

96. On the phone or in person?: I talk 100x more on the phone (or indirectly) most of the time

97. Do you like summer or winter?: Irrelevant here.

97. Do u want your friends to write back?: I don't send out letters, heh.

98. Who is least likely to reply to this?: Simon Sim

99. Do you get jealous if your friend that used to like you end up liking some other person?: Yea, I suppose so.

100. Any girlfriend/boyfriend: In God's time...In God's time...

101. Any message 4 ur enemies?: Can we be friends instead?

Writing It Right

2008-04-01T23:17:00.002+08:00

The problem with having too many friends who blog is that it eventually gets too difficult or time-consuming to keep up with every single one of them and you're forced to either rotate your choice of blogs (Monday read Crissy's blog, Tuesday read Jon's blog, etc etc) or you stick to a group of your favourite friends.

I would say that I'm too lazy to change my selection of blogs and usually check out only the same group of people (well the group changes a bit occasionally), thus leaving a lot of other blogs sitting quietly in my bookmarks folder. But every now and then I do take a good look at the blogs that I've not been to in a long while and if there was time to spare I would just pay some quick visits. That 'every now and then' happened to be 15 minutes ago and I made a quick trip to Crissy's blog to get some updates. And of course, I got more than I bargained for :D

Coming from my hometown in Kuantan, I always had it in me that my England was very powderful. I mean, I had good vocab, sharp grammar, easy flow in sentences and just about everything else that is needed to write up a 'good' piece of essay. But is only when I read, and glean upon writings such as Crissy's (sorry Crissy, but I needed a good reference point xD) that I know the real difference between what you call 'good' writing and 'excellent' writing. I believe English, like any other language, is like...the Cube in Transformers (didn't see that coming, did ya :D). When placed in the hands of ordinary folks, the Cube's power is limited. Give it to any one of the Transformers however, and you can see the endless potential that it holds.

English. Artistic Sense. I like. I have not.

Okay, so we're all made differently and wired with our own unique abilities, skills and traits. But sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I had a little bit more.....more ooomph.

Words that can come alive as you read them, sentences that speak more to your mind and imagination than to your cerebral cortex, ideas that pop out and leap around dancing and swirling with your own thoughts, messages that can come across as bright as day without even needing to show itself...

No, you don't have to be perfect to write out a simple blog post, but imbuing even minor nonsensical rantings with natural artistic creativity can make all the difference in the world :)

Tag 2

2008-04-01T11:41:00.002+08:00

First name: -

Last name: Fong Kee Ken (is this how the first/last name thing works??)

Birthdate: 21st September 1988

Gender: Male

Favourite colour: I realize I wear a lot of red shirts. And blue jeans. I think I like yellow – especially when it says "Wonderful Writer" in front xD

Favourite animal: Penguins kua.

Favourite subject: Rehat, the only period that's available every single day.

Favourite country: Malaysia! (Because I've not stepped foot in others just yet..)

Favourite place of vacation: When I was in Kuantan - Subang. Now that I'm in Subang - Kuantan :D

Favourite ice cream flavour: Vanilla

Favourite TV series: Used to really love Crystal Maze (super old show), now is probably...nothing in particular.

Favourite sport: Badminton, since I can't play at all most of the other known sports, heh.

What...

…were you doing at this time last week?: Bumming at home.

…are you planning to do next: Get ready for work.

…is it that you wished you had: a godly close female friend :)

…is your ambition: Travel the world

…animal are you most afraid of: Centipedes, by far.

…are you most afraid of in your life: Hurting other people's feelings

…is the most embarrassing thing so far in life: Owh...definitely when I was chatting with this Mandarin-speaking Chinese girl (in my super-broken Mandarin). I was trying to ask 'what's your ambition' but managed to totally screw up my pronounciations...when she covered her mouth and laughed away I thought I was a total goner....

…is it that you've always wanted to do but didn’t have the chance: Live alone in a place far away from home, in poor countries like around the African regions or the Middle East..

If you were given the chance to do anything right now what would you do (regardless how long it takes and how expensive it is): Invent a handheld teleportation device (Here I come all you aussie people!)

I tag: You who have read until here :D

Off to Work

2008-03-31T12:07:00.003+08:00

In about half-an-hour, I'd have to change, get ready and scoot over to my workplace.

Today I should be starting officially in my new official position doing official work with official menial tasks (read: boring) waiting for me even as we speak xD

Monday mornings are normally reserved for rantings and complaints about how your boss is lousier than you, how you are badly underpaid and overwork, how your workplace ranks at the top among 'World's Worst Workplaces' and that sort of stuff; and nobody wakes up after Sunday saying "Yes!! Work!!!!!". I'm saying this because the last two times I took on temporary working stints I found myself in such situations, and I believe the general sentiment among the working crowd shouldn't differ too much (unless you're one of the few who likes what you're doing for a living).

However, due to the nature of my current work and workplace, I have a pretty good feeling that I'm in for a lot more than I bargained for. It's gonna be tough in many ways, and I really do hope that I'd be able to do it right. It might seem like a very minor and unimportant job to some, but I see the many challenges that lie ahead of me and it would certainly take more than just determination alone to get me through. I'm curious and excited to see how things would go, but at the end of the day I just hope that I would grow in maturity, both mentally and spiritually...

A Bummer No More

2008-03-29T11:08:00.007+08:00

"Yes, I have been bumming a lot. Yes, I have been going out a lot. Yes, I have been spending a lot. No, I don't want to bum anymore.." - K.Ken, modern day post-STPM student -

The last two months had been wonderfully squandered away doing things that I can't quite remember..For the most part there were the RBS reunions at various places. Then there was Chinese New Year. Then there was SPICES..and collecting my STPM results, which was followed by the short period of mourning that I wrote about but was later overcome and put behind me. Hmm, what else took place in the last two months anyway....

It's ironic how when you're studying you would wish upon the stars (the moon and every other constellation objects for that matter) for the holidays to come as quickly as possible, then when you've finally hit the end of the road and have nothing on your hands for the next few months, you begin to feel the rot and boredom creeping in. I suppose this is why some retirees choose to go back into the working field instead of enjoying the fruits of their labor in the comfort of their home, sitting on a massage chair or something like that.

I myself had had my fair share of bumming over the past two months and honestly it was all getting a little too mind-numbing for me. And with the start of college intakes for March, many of my fellow bummers have landed themselves a spot in a college or uni somewhere, and are now happily studying again, which left me even more desperate for something to fill my time with. Thus I jumped on a job opportunity and should officially be starting next week (started already yesterday but unofficially lah). What it is and where it is would all be revealed when I have enough blogging materials to put out a proper post, so stay tuned ;D

To all the new college students who have found their way into Sunway, Taylor's and other places, happy studying and remember to keep in touch with one another (and don't go clubbing so often, haha).

Oops

2008-03-26T11:54:00.004+08:00

Okay okay, so I made a mistake earlier about the whole recording thing and needless to say it was quite embarassing (oops!) but many thanks to our cK for the prompt (frantic) alert. Thankfully, the situation was contained within one or two hours with minimal casualties (frontline victim: Simon Sim). I had almost wanted to ask all the other RBS-ers to come and get our recording of Stubborn Love..which I didn't, fortunately.

But that aside, I still liked the song very much, and it's not too hard to imagine that we were the ones singing in the recording (use lots of imagination lor). In fact, I got down to drawing a little something just to express how I feel about it. Before we go any further though, here are some quick facts:

-I started drawing in manga art-style when I was in Form..2 or 3
-I was influenced by Justin Lee Ju Wei
-I only practiced drawing girls, so until today I can ONLY draw girls (now now, don't jump to conclusions..), which isn't so bad since Justin only draws GUYS and there's always a chance that we could collaborate in the future, hahaha.
-I've improved by leaps and bounds since I first started, but I'm still lousy and my improvement/year ratio is horrible (meaning that I should have gone pro as a manga artist by now)
-I absolutely don't know how to colour with any medium whatsoever (poster paint, colour pencil, pastel crayons and all other known types of colouring materials)
-I so adore/detest Simon's natural talent of pencil-work (voted 'Most Valuable Artist' in Shirtliff's team, haha). More interestingly, I remember clearly until today the first day we met in church because he showed off his skills on a whiteboard :D
-I consider my artistic sense (or creativity, or spark, or inspiration or anything else that you'd label it as) to be pretty near to zero or sifar. Not that I have LSE (low self-esteem) or anything, but I can see that some people just have that..that 'oopmh' factor in them, that makes all the difference in any kind of 'arty' activities (no need to say who ler).

I'm still very bad at visualising emotions and feelings though, and often end up with something that doesn't convey much, if not the wrong things. I'd picture it in my head, then work hard to draw it out, only to end up with 'what the heck is this drawing about' a few hours later..but I decided to post one here anyway. Not because it's perfect, but because I spent so much time on this that I thought it should at least get some screen time on my blog :)

*ta-da!* I had something else in mind actually, but no matter ;D

Over Easter

2008-03-24T15:43:00.004+08:00

Easter's over, and I suppose many of you in Klang Valley would've had gone for the Jamie Kidd event hosted by IBA and its affiliated churches. I don't know exactly how well the whole thing went, since I was about 400 kilometers away in Kuantan for the last 3 days but from what I heard the LORD had been making waves in many of the places that the Tony Anthony team had visited.

Everyone knows the Easter story in one way or another. Jesus came, suffered, died and rose again. To the ears of skeptical non-believers, this is all just a load of hot air and nonsensical 'no need to tell me that story again' religious publicity, but thank God for the people who saw things in a different light and made that bold step to walk out in faith.

I have been challenged again and again in terms of my faith, and where I'm placing it. I still find myself struggling with the fact that I'm not giving the Lord the honor, attention and respect that He deserves as Saviour, Redeemer and King. I fall, and as much as I feel like wanting to give up, the Lord reminds me that I am but human.

"What I want to do I do not do, what I hate I do", so laments Paul in Romans and yes, he was speaking absolute sense when he topped it off with "Oh! What a miserable person I am" (NLT). But the more I try to pull away into despair, the more I realise the awesome saving grace that the Lord had extended to me. So wretched, so lost. But saved nevertheless, and clothed in a flowing robe of undying love that covers all the guilt of sin and shame that I have wallowed myself in.

Spiritual struggles aside, here's something that most of you probably do not have in possession. When I posted K.T.'s version of Stubborn Love here a while back, many of you had managed to find the song elsewhere *ahem*download*ahem*. But THIS should grab your attention a little. Colin had generously sent to me the recording of our version of Stubborn Love after seeing that I didn't find a liking for the original singer's composition. But don't get me wrong here, I said our version, not our recording like it was previously understood xD (sorry Simon!!) It was converted into digital format from an old cassete though, so it doesn't sound much like a full-blown concert but it's pretty cool to hear 'us' (well, not us lah but doesn't hurt to imagine that it's us right, haha) singing again :D I even used my free time to come up with the cover for the imaginary 'RBS o8 Graduation' box-set DVD :P

Me being me, I took the song and tried to 'digitally remaster' it with whatever little audio knowledge I have and it didn't quite make any difference, save for less static and nicer bass tones xD Go, grab a copy of it now and relive the practice sessions that we had, haha.

Version A (scratchy, but smaller file size) - Grab It!

Version B (not so scratchy and nicer bass, but bigger file size and the quality is a bit poorer) - Grab It!!

Okie, finally doing the Tag thing..

2008-03-19T22:10:00.004+08:00

Real name: Fong Kee Ken
Nickname: Erm..the first one that rings to mind is "Fei Chai" which was pretty frequently used when I was much younger..Kuantan friends call me "Fong" while in Subang I'm "Kee Ken". At home it's just "Ken", but so far no one has called me "Kee" yet xD
Married: n/a
Male/Female: Owh? I like female of course if that's what it means, haha :D
Short or long hair: Short is the way to go~
Are u a healthy freak: Now this is tricky. If 'health freak' then I know lah. But 'healthy freak' means that I'm a freak and I'm healthy? Freak in some sense, healthy in some sense, so it's a 'Yes' I suppose.
Height: 5ft 6/7 like that.
Do u have a crush on someone?: Jon's got the best answer lor. MAYBE xD
Do u like yourself: I'm good.
Piercings: No no, mostly for the reason that you're denying others a chance of taking your blood for transfusion..
Righty of lefty: Right!

First....

surgery: Don't remember having had one.
Piercing: Fell on top of some wire-fencing and pierced my arm.
Person u see in the morning: Mom :D
Award: Highest in MUET!
Sport u join: Never played much of anything, other than badminton and ping pong, and even then very slightly.
Pet: Had doggies and fishes before.
Vacation: Genting Highlands kua.
Concert: Hillsong or Planetshaker, at Sunway there I think. Brilliant in many ways..
First crush: Delicate question...someone in my old secondary school?

Currently...

Eating: Nothing at all.
Drinking: Water.
Im about to: Call up my friend to see if I can leec..I mean ask for a ride tomorrow :D

Your future...

Want kids: To cut it short, yea.
Want to get married: Well yea, since I'd like kids. Sperm donation and anonymous mothers won't cut it, heh :D
Careers in mind: Environmental saiyantist

Which is better?

Lips or eyes?: Cannot discriminate between body parts, since they have their specific functions
Hugs or kisses: Hugs, since you can't kiss your guy friends but can hug them (unless you're into the other end of the spectrum lah)
Shorter or taller?: Well, I know I would like to be taller.
Romantic or spontaneous: Both, I think.
Sensitive or loud: I really can't say for sure.
Troublemaker or hesitant?: Again, no idea.

Have u ever....

Kissed a stranger?: No wor.
Drank bubbles: No wor, Dettol got try lah but not bubbles.
lost glasses/contacts: Unfortunately, YES!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid spectacle thief took my favourite blue Levi's half-frame during my STPM..
Ran away frm home: I'm a homely person lah, can't help it.
liked someone younger: Yea...yeap.
liked someone older: Cannot ler, they just seem very different.
Broke someone's heart: Well yea, of course. But not the BGR kind la.
Been arrested: Nope!
Cried when someone died: I've not really had so many people whom I know pass away but the answer is no.
Liked a friend: How to like a stranger leh? Unless crush lah, which is different.

Do u believe in...

Yourself?: I know I can only do so much.
Miracles: Yes, yes and yes.
Heaven: Enough to say that it wouldn't cease to exist even if nobody believed in it.
Santa Claus: Not enough to say I do.
Magic: I do, but I mostly associate it with darker elements (like sorcery, because 'magic' is an overused term)
Angels: Yeah, but not in the 'guardian angel' sense lah.

Answer truthfully..

Is there someone u want to be with right now?: In a way, our Lord, because I want to 'sit' with him (like uncle steven says), and ask Him about all the things that I have in my mind, like the secrets of the universe and that kind of thing :) Don't get me wrong though, I'm in opinion of wanting to leave this plane of existence just yet.

Do u believe in God?: So many things that happened have made me wonder why God would ever bother with me, somebody so wretched and broken and eternally condemned if not for the work and grace of Christ Jesus. So...yes?

Okay, let's see...I'm gonna tag:

Jethro
Joanne
Elena
Ann Sue
Simon Sim! (update lah monkey xD)

And Now

2008-03-18T19:46:00.002+08:00

Time for an update I suppose :D

So I finally got over the whole fiasco about my results. Many thanks to all of you who have either said something or did something at some point in time :)

Now I'm moving on to that troublesome phase of scholarship-hunting again. I did it for SPM and didn't quite like the fact that I had to photostat so many copies of seemingly unimportant documents (koku certs especially). This time around however, I found it pretty distressing that I no longer qualify for a good portion of the scholarships out there like I did previously. The standard requirement is 3.5 CGPA for STPM. Okay lah, so maybe they want quality. But it's kinda ridiculous that things are the other way round with SPM requirements. Credits and passes would suffice for many of them. So I found myself mostly overqualified in SPM but under qualified in my STPM.....nuts. I scratched my head asking why they would demand super-achievements in STPM whilst only wanting mediocre results in SPM, but in the end I that's the way things work I guess.

I've managed to narrow down my choice of courses and have even submitted my online application already, though I still have the chance to make amendments before the 24th. To be exact I only have 3 real choices that I seriously considered, but I filled in the extra 5 places with secondary options anyway to make full use of the 8 slots that they gave me. Initially I did have trouble trying to place my first 3 courses in order (they go by order you see, if they can't allocate the first choice for you then they'll have to look at your second one and so on so forth), because I had to choose between USM (penang), UPM and UKM (here). I wasn't sure actually which uni offered the better course, since I applied for environmental studies in all three. But the way I see it, it's kinda like how Uncle Kong Beng had put it during our CG meeting last week: of the many aspects that we weigh and consider when deciding on our career (satisfaction, money, practicality, making a difference in the world), what's more important is that we ask God where He would call us to be.

I decided to make that my guiding line, and so I am trusting Him to decide the fate of my uni application. I put the first 3 choices in the order I listed above, since Penang sounded like a good idea but ultimately God would decide which part of Malaysia would be the hunting ground for pursuing my degree. Of course, there's also the possibility that I don't get any of my first 3 choices, or any of them for that matter (hope and pray not ler) but I don't think I would be doing myself any good to worry and fret about that now :D

"So do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough troubles of its own." - Matthew 6:31-34

To Think About It

2008-03-12T14:09:00.002+08:00

The dust has finally settled, and by this time every single SPM and STPM soul would have retrieved their respective result slips. Some would be rejoicing in 'surprise', some would be satisfied and still some would be gripping their fists and wallowing in silent bitterness..

When I tore open the punch-holed sides of my piece of gray paper yesterday, I had very clear expectations in mind. 1A and 3Bs, I told myself. I was with my friend, and as he opened his one, he soon became ecstatic and people swooned to congratulate him for his achievement, a straight set of As. I was there, holding my results slip half-opened. It was kinda anti-climatic I suppose, since I was secretly hoping for the impossible, that I might get something closer to the top. Alas, I was greeted by my own expectations. Calculate calculate, my CGPA was 3.085. Just barely enough, for the course that I was eyeing. "Okay, that's great", I said to myself. "Now it's much easier for me to decide what I should be pursuing."

So we went for minum and laughed about it all. Upon getting home however, I just sat there with a somewhat blank mind. After a while, I realised that deep inside I was feeling really horrible, and another friend of mine felt the same way. I didn't do anything, save for printing the list of offered courses for local universities. Other than that, I just didn't know how to deal with that gut-wrenching feeling and the mind-numbing experience. So I plonked myself down on a chair and played some games to while away the time.

Only at night when the effects had worn off a little could I reflect a little bit more on the real issue. While I'm 'happy' in many ways of how things turned out (just like I asked for), the soul-sucking factor came from how I seem to have been wired into the straight-As mould. I passed UPSR, PMR and SPM with more or less the best results that I could've obtained and with that I carried along the notion of just succeeding all the way. I suppose you can say that I don't know what it feels like to not obtain perfect or near-perfect results for major examinations. Sorta like not having 'lost' a battle before. I've never thought of it this way, that the deepest part of my conscience cannot live with not having aced my STPM. It was mentally-draining, but on the good side I believe that this was a serious issue which I had never noticed all along and if I had taken it further (imagine failing at uni) it would've been too overwhelming for my fragile inner-self to bear.

At least, this is roughly what I gleaned from probing my own thoughts from since yesterday. And I just wanna say thanks to NeoHusky and Simmy who took the time to come out for yamcha at night. Really helped to cheer me up. Especially since today is a normal working day..thanks guys!

Now to go through that long list of courses...

The Result

2008-03-11T15:17:00.002+08:00

I don't feel like writing about it now..see how lah later :/