Lost in wonder...

Finally, I'm back home early today! Ah..in case you didn't know, as of now I am currently attending a youth conference (like a workshop lah) in SIB KL (http://sibkl.org.my/htm/home.htm) church. It started with an opening night concert on Tuesday and today was a full-day workshop. Anyway, I just thought I'd post about what happened on the Tuesday night concert...

So yeah, there we were: me, Simon, Arjund, Liesl, Jane, Shanice, Ii-Ern, Ii-Shan, Aunty Collene and Aunty Cindy. Of course, before that I think it deserves mention the fact that the ride to the SIB KL church was absolutely positively the zaniest,craziest one that I've experienced so far. I mean, I'd rather not elaborate on it but to sum it up let's just say that now I know KL people are the considered the rudest drivers around....

Okay, back to the concert..so there we were at the hall. Or SANCTUARY as they call it. And goodness it was big..so big. With two projectors projecting on both sides of the stage, the stage looked every bit suitable for an Eason Chan concert, or whoever else for that matter. Much to my chagrin, we had to sit closest to the stage. No chairs for us..(the seatings are ala cinema one) So okay. Nevermind. We sat. And when the event started, I was just sitting there blown away by the amazing programs that the church's media team came up with. It was so proffessional that I thought TV3 or something was there to record the event.

They made it seem like a real tv program, with the proffessional hosts and all. Humor was fairly abundant that night and we were certainly tickled pink by the emcees' antics. Not long after, the concert kicked off. It was the PlanetShakers super-energetic-jump-jump-jump that kind of worship style, as we all expected. I had never been really comfortable when in this kind of concerts, not too keen to lift my hands and jump around and preferring instead to just sing along. So, yeah, it was awkward..(they asked us to take five steps to the front in the beginning, and only Kelvin and I walked in front. When I looked back I was like 'What the??! Hoi, what you all doing at the back?!?!?" By now I was hopelessly close to the stage and what to do, when they started jumping I felt compelled to follow along. Ouch...

It was certainly VERY tiring to sing and jump around at the same time, so I take my hat off to the seven or eight on-stage singers who seemed to be running on Energisers while my Eveready left me breathless halfway through the songs....But one thing that I couldn't understand was that why need to jump? I mean...I just don't get it. So I did what I could, following the crowd somewhat aimlessly, not being able to really focus on worshipping and pulled back by my self-consciousness.

That was, until they sang the don't know how many-eth song...I kept thinking and pondering and finally, I figured out that it was never about jumping in the first place. Nor the fancy guitars. Nor the funky drum beats and the killer synthesizer tunes. It was just...just worshipping God. Just giving God all of me, giving Him everything; my soul, my mind, my body. Even if it's only for a moment. A minute. A second. It was about synchronizing with God's wavelength...the singing was just one of the means to help me do so. And two songs came to mind, first Martin Layzell's Lost In Wonder. The title says it all, lost in wonder...when truly close to God's presence, you are truly lost in wonder of just how awesome, how great God is. Another line in the song is "...lost in, love....", nicely summarising God's sea of love for us.

The second song that came to me was none other than Matt Redman's Heart Of Worship. I could feel it there. By removing the music mentally, all I saw were several pillars light signifying spiritual connection. The singers on stage all truly made an effort to connect and reach out to God, and I finally felt comfortable enough to jump with them. I jumped, because my entire focus by then was already on God. Being the mere human being that I am, jumping around was just what I could do to express my worship to God. But of course, rest assured that I won't be jumping around in church any time too soon. It's just that I've learned something about this whole worship thing. Slowly but surely, I am beginning to piece together the little fragments of knowledge that I have regarding this whole issue of what makes a true and whole-hearted worship. It remains though, that I still have a long way to go, and I'm certainly curious as to how we're gonna be worshipping God eternally in Heaven, with "no less time to worship God than when we first started". I just can't wait to know........