Here Goes Nothing

Breathe in....sigh~ It's actually already pretty late at night, and tomorrow being a school day I know too well that I should be in my bed by now but having read Christina's blog, and then Jon Tan's blog, I couldn't help but to try to pen down a little of what ran through my mind....

First and foremost, to be honest I was so totally disturbed by the fact that Christina actually drove a REAL CAR on the REAL STREETS of Subang. I was so disturbed. More than that, I was appalled. Worried sick. It drove me nuts (pun not intended) to see the danger that she was putting herself into, and that was the least of my worries. What if she was so unlucky as to meet an accident? Never mind the fact that she would be prosecuted under juvenile law, I cannot imagine if anyone were to be injured, or worse still : die. Christina, should you be reading this, I'm really sorry to sound like some holier-than-thou police officer, but I voiced this out of concern. Out of fear. Thank God that you got back home safe that day. Should you now feel that I've overstepped my boundaries as a friend, I can only apologize but my stand and my statement stays the way it is. Please be careful the next time, Christina..

Shifting the focus from our Miss C, Jon's recent post Friends for Christ? did give me some food for thought. I too, didn't think that you would see yourself as almost the same, if not identical to that 'periphery guy' who doesn't belong to the group, Jon. To be without friends isn't what most people would've thought about you, I guess. But I just want to say that, you had been, and still are, a fantastic friend to me, Jon. In the absence of a brother whom I can closely relate to, I really appreciate the fellowship and friendship that you've afforded me. I don't really know why, but I had suddenly felt the need to say so..somehow it didn't feel right to just let the matter drop like that.

Perhaps it is the very same burden in my heart that I experienced while in National Service that pressed me into writing this post. My heart stirred, and it wasn't exactly the most comfortable feeling. Thinking I might be genuinely concerned with how you two have troubled hearts, I wrote exactly what I had in mind, which explains the different tone of this post. But then again, it could also very well be that I myself tengah syok sendiri only..and to put it in the bluntest manner, like to jaga tepi kain orang.

Haih, now even I am emo liao...is it infectious or something?

(the very next day) Can't believe I actually managed to write such an odd-sounding post myself. Maybe I should avoid posting while under the influence of sleepiness....sigh~