Sub-Post

The reason for the title above is simply because this post would have nothing to do with what I was supposed to blog about (read below)..but I just thought I could take some time to curi tulang from studying :D

Lately, things have not been kind to me I suppose. I had just finished my exams and..the results weren't even close to decent. I haven't actually gotten back the marks but I know better already. I realized that I had not been putting in as much effort as I could, I had been simply been putting important things aside for far too long. This year God has shown me that my current attitudes and the bad choices that I make would only get me into troubles and difficulties. I must admit that the year 2007 is really not quite what I had expected. I guess all my complaining that I had not been experiencing anything eventful since NS has finally gotten God's attention :/

Similar to Christina, just when I thought I had taken another step in my spiritual walk, it only seems too obvious that I hadn't moved an inch at all. It's only too easy to go with the motion and flow with the times. I came, I saw, I learned nothing; that was how things were..

But in the midst of all the difficulties and troubles, I could also see that God is somewhat trying to break me...to bring me further and help me to grow into the Christian that would survive the ups and downs of the real world. If I were to go into adulthood with my current mindset, attitude and character, I know too well that I won't stand a chance at all..

-Do not conform any longer to the patter of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind-

Just what does it take to become a Christian who can please God and 'follow after God's own heart'? To deny ourselves and take up the daily cross? In our society, it's already too embedded that success is a very well-defined thing: education, career, marriage and money. But those things don't get us any nearer to God, and at this point in my life at least, I still cannot imagine myself running after God wholeheartedly and to believe in His word 110% percent like we're supposed to...

-If any of you ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord, he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.-

I pray though, that God would open my eyes to the world around me and make me a better servant, because I want to be of use to the kingdom of God. Right now I'm wretched and broken, but the God who works things out in His good time, who had showered me with blessings undeserved and held back his judgement against a sinner like me; I believe and trust that He would one day see me face to face and say to me "You've come a long way". Until then, I would hold on tightly to God's words of life..