Where I Might Have Been

Facebook is great for looking over people's photos, whether you are stalking someone or simply curious to find out what your friends had been up to. And although pictures may not tell the whole truth, most of the times the thousand words that we can read from even the most ordinary photos can tell us a lot more than what we can ask a person. I was looking over the photos of some friends (can't say who of course) and found myself going back to a thought that I used to mull over everyday: how each of us are brought up in different environments, and how sometimes these environments can be as separate and as distinct as night and day.

Life holds so much experience and diversity that I can often spend a lot of time thinking of where I might've been in life if I had been born in a different place, or maybe born into a different race, or family background, and the list of variables flow along endlessly. Would I have had been the same? I can't tell, really. Part of me thinks that I'll still be me in terms of core personalities (such as my introvertedness). But I could be wrong. I could be a fabulous sportsman dishing out pain to state players. Or I could be the stereotypical (pardon my stereotype here if it offends you) club-goer with a tattoo of a fiery dragon up my back. I suppose I can't change what's already happened. I can't change my parents (not that I'd trade them for anything) or change my birthplace. But there are still so many things that I have yet to come across, that it now seems foolish when I think about those moments when I used to feel apathetic or pessimistic (or both) about life.

Some people like change in their lives. Some of my friends no doubt had undergone or is undergoing heaps of change, and seem to be perfectly fine with it. Me? I don't know...I can't say I like to live an unpredictable life, being bombed while having dinner or something to that effect. I want to experience change, but yet I know that change can be both good and bad, pleasant and unpleasant. And so I'm hesitant I guess.

How strange actually, that even though I'm not born with any physical disabilities or serious mental retardation (maybe got, but I wouldn't know), I can still feel very much crippled at times. Crippled by my thinking, my emotions, my expectations. Life is brilliant like that I suppose.