See

I have two eyes, you have two eyes. Barring all those who are disabled either from birth or by unfortunate accident, we all have the same two eyes, no more and no less. Our vision's stereoscopic, by scientific definition. I'm pretty sure that man could not have come this far without our good ol' eyes, and God probably made eyes for us so that we would be able to enjoy the beauty of God's works, but......

Your eyes are the windows to your souls, they say. Cliched, yes....but true. Too true...many times, the things that we see shape our personality, our minds, the way we think, the way we feel..to put it in the simplest terms, it affects our very souls. Hence the phrase "To see is to believe" (I have it on my NS shirt, haha) is often the number one mantra for most people. Just by what we see alone, it's often too easy to pass hasty but hardly accurate judgements. (It's actually kinda late now but I just thought that I should blog about this at the very least..)

This week has been a wonderful one for me, mostly due to the fact that I've just only turned 18 last Thursday (my friend said that I can now finally visit the 'I need love' shop...shivers). I received really nice SMS-es,with the first one coming in at the wee hours of 12.02AM and I have Justina to thank for that :D It was totally great to celebrate my birthday this year because people actually remembered. I was happy that my friends sent me messages and that my classmates asked me to go to Summit to watch a movie, and like the Sims, my social bar was totally recharged that day. But as I reminisced about it, I suddenly realised something more important. On my birthday my mom fried a delicious piece of fish, made fried chicken drumsticks, prepared red-coloured boiled eggs (it's a Chinese custom if you didn't already know) AND made a nice, cool glass of lemonade (ahhh....) so that I could gulp it down straight after coming back from school. And I was really satiated, having feasted like a king but now that I ponder about it...

Ever since I was small I could see that I have a father and a mother. I could see that my mom works hard doing household chores. I could see that dad works equally as hard to earn money to feed the family. But what I couldn't see for a very long time was WHY they had to trouble themselves so. My dad loves me, and I could feel it when he yanks out ten dollar notes for me to spend even though he hardly has enough money to pump gas (his car runs on gas) these days, while my mom loves me even more as she works her butt off everyday just to make sure that I am well-fed, grow up healthy and always have clean ironed clothes to wear. It's always been like that, but it's just that my eyes failed to 'see' these things before this. How could I have been so blind?

Nowadays, I feel that I often rely too heavily on these two eyes of mine, it's just all too easy to take things as they seem. "Ohhh, he looks mean. Better not mess with him..". "Hey, she looks cute, and kind too...". "It looks like I'm just too busy with Form Six to have time for other things,shucks." And the list just goes on and on and on...

Hahhhh....I guess this explains why it's been hard to connect to God lately. It's easy for me to make connections when I see things, but God being the invisible being that He is, I've always had a lot of trouble trying to fill up my spiritual tank. But that's also one of the reasons why I've always looked forward to TRU: it's the best place that I could think of to power up my spiritual batteries. At TRU, I don't try to think about God. I don't try to talk about God. I just...perceive. I suppose that when it comes to communicating with the great and mighty God who is up there, if my mind fails and my mouth falls behind, then all I have left is just my heart. And that's how it works best.."God works in ways that we cannot see"

I just pray that I would be to have more of that ability to see deeper into things. To perceive with both my eyes AND my heart and soul and conscience. But even if I had eyes a gazillion times more powerful than that of an eagle, I would still never be able to see things the way God does. When I was in my NS camp, there were two occasions when God gave me the opportunity to sort of 'look' into the souls of two individuals and it was indeed a very valuable experience. It showed me just how little that my frail pair of eyes is capable of seeing...

I'd love to write about the two individuals I mentioned but 'll save it cause if I don't sleep now, my eyes would definitely not be able to see anything tomorrow morning. It's already past midnight, my goodness...oh well, hope that wasn't too long a blog for you guys. Good night for now :D Oh, and pardon me if I used the word 'see' too many times. Ooops, I did it again... xD