Beginning of March

As usual, I'm caught by surprise as to how quickly time passes me by just when I least expect it. The period of Dec 26 till Jan 31 was unbelievably long for me for more reasons than one (the cold air was probably one of them) but looking at the date now more or less the same amount of days had come and gone and I could really imagine that it was only yesterday that I came back home from graduation night at PJGH...(don't mind me if I had said it before ya). I just don't feel like the past month had been the best of times..

But that said, I know that it's gonna be a rough ride for me this year. So many things to accomplish, but so little motivation to get me going. I suppose it could be a side effect of having studied in kebangsaan schools: I can't really seem to handle stress all that well. Admittedly I have a pretty low level of tolerance for work of any kind and always need to 'relax' in one way or another. Of course, it doesn't take a sage to tell that I'd either make a successful Internet billioinaire or an utterly horrible 9 to 5 office boy..and the odds favor the latter unfortunately xD

The results are gonna be out soon, and then there would be the mad scramble for scholarships and that kind of thing. I'm not so intrigued however by whether I'd make it into uni, but rather what it would feel like to take some time off to go into mission or church work full-time..the Footstool Players needed more help the last time I heard and Simon and I would jump at the chance to be on the team actually, if not for the long commitment needed and the timing: September. If Simon had his way, he would've postponed his tertiary education till October I'm sure (right sim? ;D). Sabrina's more or less the youngest full-time church worker that I know of right now so I'm pretty interested honestly to know what it's like to forgo the conventional 'school-diploma-degree-job- model so early in life and work for God instead.

Earlier during RBS, I had lamented in my journal that I should be 'living out my faith to the fullest'. I had this impression, you see, that we should all take the likes of missionary giants like Jim Elliot and George Mueller as a yardstick in the way we live. Which more or less means the 'selling everything and give to the poor' kind of reckless abandon that puts everything at stake. I was troubled the whole day, to say the least and I wrote close to 4 pages of ranting and self-reasoning in my journal. Thankfully, I had to submit it to Eu Bing that day for comments and I picked up a lot from the two sticky-notes that he wrote on. In one part he wrote:-

"...if all of us were to then live this 'full faith' by becoming like Jim Elliot, then who would become senders? We all have our roles to play due to God's calling to us, based on our circumstances and where He has placed us. Just as the jungles and dangerous tribes pose their threats and troubles, so does the mission in other places where God has placed you to be : schools, work, places, friends and yes, even the little things like shopping complexes etc. All these places require you to still live out your faith to the fullest, regardless of where you are."

It is moments like these that make me realise how much God had been trying to reach out to me through the people around me and also the circumstances that cropped up (me mission team leader? oh my goodness...) along the way. The journal proved to be a valuable treasure trove of memories, experience and also sound advice from someone a lil' older than me who has gone through much more both in life and in faith.


Ah, so much for an update. I've got more stuff to write on actually but don't have the materials yet. Maybe in a day or two lah :)