A Matter Of As

Having come to a full circle of the school holidays, the PMR results are finally out. Kudos
to all those who did well, to all those who got the grades they wanted and to those
who can finally ask for their dream toy/gadget/car/phone/whatever. Kudos also for the teachers whose hard work and efforts have finally paid off for their students. But amidst all the cheers and celebrations; it's important, I think, that we do not place too much emphasis on the results.

As is always the case, we tend to look at the grades first, and from that alone pass remarks about the person. "Oh, straight As? You study hard,eh?"."Wow, your daughter's really smart!"."Your son's really great. My son's only got half of your son's grades, I just don't know what to do with him..(shakes head,looks disdainfully at the son.)"."So your daughter got good grades ah? Your daughter next time sure earn big bucks wan! Not like that Madam Cheng's daughter, only 2 As and one fail even! Hmph, she can get ready to sweep the streets..".When parents get together, it's undeniable that their children's grades would come into the discussion in one way or another.


I used to read this comic called Great Teacher Onizuka or GTO in short that centred on the life of a teacher. A teacher who, unlike many others, went against the socially-accepted rules and systems, and thought so much more of education than just books and papers. On the surface, the comic contains lots and lots (lots) of sexual overtones and violent themes characteristic of Japanese culture normally depicted in mangas. Most would pass it off as a guilty pleasure due to the not-so-decent subplots used by the artist. But what I really appreciate in the comic is how the artist subtly weaves in a much deeper and stronger social message of the role of teachers in society.


In the beginning, Onizuka is introduced as a trouble-maker in his student days. Violent and
perverted, he was the best example of an anti-hero. In his twenties, he fell for a girl but the
girl dumped him for an old guy. A teacher. So he sets his sights on being a teacher in the hopes that he would be able to find his true love but ends up dscovering instead what it means to be a teacher and changing the lives of his students along the way.


Among the characters explored in the comic:

-a supergenius girl who is grappling with growing up and comes from a broken family

-a president's daughter deprived of love who fell for an engaged teacher and was heartbroken

-a student whose mum is just 14 years older than him

-a student who comes from a gangster family and is feared by everyone at school, making him an introvert

-a young woman who is Onizuka's colleague and also love interest who often finds it difficult to do what she thinks
is right as a teacher

-a director of the school's PIBG who saw the shining qualities of a teacher in Onizuka and later
hired him.

-an ambitious headmistress with a skewed perspective of education because of a traumatic childhood experience

-a former rape victim who took up martial arts and joined the headmistress' secret 'Angels' team to deliver their own
brand of justice in the school.

-a petite boy who does not have the courage and confidence to grow up into manhood because of his small build

-a senior teacher who is the epitome of the average high school teacher; stressed out, earns a meagre salary,
has a so-so family and invests in all the wrong things (the dream car that he bought ended up getting smashed
enough times to get his insurance agents to go berserk)

-and so many other characters that focus on the darker sides of the Japanese society



I couldn't agree more with the comic's underlying theme that education alone guarantees nothing, in a sense that the students needed someone who could teach them the lessons of life, a teacher who can guide them and help them in their moments of need. A teacher who is not impersonal and only teaches from the textbooks, but constantly provides tutoring, friendship and support. One who is an example himself/herself for the students to look up to, that when they graduate from school they may be useful to the society. The students were lost, they all followed after their own heart and desires and made a lot of foolish decisions but Onizuka was there to help them all the way to the end. Even risking his life in the last book of the series to save the headmistress who got herself trapped in a burning building. And with style: he had just survived a major brain tumour operation when the nurses discovered that he had escaped from the hospital only to be found riding a Harley-Davidson into the burning school building and out of it unscathed. In his hospital robe.


As if to imply the superhuman qualities of Onizuka, I cannot help but feel that the whole story actually very closely mirrored the life of Jesus! Except that Jesus was the opposite of Onizuka of course :D But the story is there. The theme is there. The message is there. The lost people of Israel were the lost youths of Japan, one man had the courage to stand up against the world, and in doing so he rescued the lives of many. Just like the artist hinted how Onizuka was going to make big changes starting from just one small school where he taught, God started from Israel and offered salvation to the rest of the world. Coincidence? Maybe. But this proves that God's word trancends boundaries of nationalities and cultures.


In case you've lost me from where I started, I just wanna point this out: the A's don't matter as much as having a Godly life. You don't impact the world with the 3 dozen or so As that you mighthave, you impact the world with your life. And just how you would impact the world, would depend on whether God is present in your life. Well, at least I feel that way :D

Christmas Loots Ahoy!

This Christmas, I'm truly blessed to have received so many gifts. However, putting aside the sizes and prices of the presents, I just wish that I had prepared more Christmas presents for others who would otherwise not have received anything this year. To make a simple comparison, I gave 4 distinct Christmas presents, namely three cards written with some of my thoughts given to Justin, Hannah and Christina (Hannah got a bonus Sakura Beras Wangi Thailand,but it went to the flood victims instead. She claims they need it more than her. Of course,I'd like to differ on that but it's HER rice,so no point arguing about it now,haha) and a box of Counter-strike figurines with a pungent latex smell distributed to all the CS die-hards. What I received, on the other hand are belowI was amazed at amount of effort put even on the card alone :D

This was what I got from Simon and Shanice. You two rock!

This was from Desmond. Choki-choki and a mystery box...

This was from my bro! A nice blue wallet (girlie,yes. but heck)

The pics above were grainy because they were taken with this webcam from my friends Raymond and Suresh :D The camera's so-so, but I really appreciate their effort and sincerity. Thoughtful? You bet! Thanks a million guys!

This was...the box that housed a nice little tart from Crissy. Frankly, I found the box very artfully designed so I decided to keep it a little while longer :D

A big box of chocolate exquisitely packed in retro themes...now I know how Cadbury bars looked like 30 years ago..sweet.

Yes, I know it's not exactly decent..but it's a nice drawing by Justin. (He got someone to draw it, in case you're wondering :D) Very meaningful gift, cause it highlights just how lousy my drawings are XD Haha, just kidding. But really, I just wish I had a quarter of this pic's artist's skills, that'd be already more than enough :)


Like it says on the picture, it's a game. A PSP game. A UMD. Which I received for Christmas. *Gasp*...definitely the most expensive gift among all the other gifts, this was given to me by Lim See Huang. Great graphics, the cut-scenes put a PS2 to shame easily... But hard to play,and I don't own a PSP in the first place. Depending on my brother's generosity, this game may very well just collect dust on my table :(

:

As it stands, this is definitely the most unique and priceless gift that I've received thus far.. Pink AND printed with my name. Well, figuratively at least :D It works only in English though, in BM 'kunci tin' doesn't exactly bring about any meaning...but thank you so the very much, me cousin Justin and John and Gabe and whoever worked on this shirt! My first pink shirt turned out to be the best t-shirt that I have so far!

Christmas gifts aside, it was truly a unique experience to be able to see everyone's contribution for our church's 'gift back to God' event, what with so many songwriters and singers proving their mettle at making songs of praise. And I do mean it wholeheartedly, it was ohsem (just so you'd know, I came up with this word,not Christina :D). Speaking of Christina, I thought she really good, good in a sense not because she sang well, or because her songs were very nicely written, (although they were), but rather it was her closeness to God, and that child-like longing to be in God's presence that really gave my mind, heart and soul a stunning revelation of how we are at our very best when we approach God's presence. I now understand what it means to endeavor as Christian brothers and sisters to bring out the godliness and holiness in one another..

There and back again

It sure has been a long while since I last updated. More than 2 weeks, to count roughly. Before anyone would like to advertise my laziness as a blogger :D, let me just clarify. It all happened like this...


It was the 12th of Dec. Camp had just been over, and I was really reluctant to have to go back to work. Camp was just 'ohsem', to borrow from Christina..so 'ohsem' that I really came back having learned something. Not that I came back from the previous camps not having learned a single thing, but rather I was able to 'integrate' what I learned this time around. Everyone mentioned on the last day that the moment we get back home, we would be turning on our MSNs, e-mails and what-nots. It couldn't have been more true for me: I was waiting to do just that.

So there I was, sitting in front of my computer. Pushed the button. Beep. Yeah, MSN here I come. Hey? What the? Boot error? What? WHAT?!?!

To explain the full extent of my predicament, it was akin to a businessman who returns home from a short break to find that a tsunami has wiped out his business, and all his properties. I was a digital pauper for the next two weeks, my hard drives had to be scrubbed and all my files were flushed down the drain. My pictures! My songs! My videos! Mind you I lost an entire 12 GB of Justice League...it was just awful. But if you're like Hannah, then you'd probably think that it's no biggie. Just a few files right? Can always get them again wan :D It's okay, the whole point of this story is actually not so much with what I lost, but rather what I gained...................

Having lost my computer to the all-too-common machanical failure, and my TMnet to human error and inefficiency, I suddenly had a whole lot of free time to myself. I work the morning shift and on average I get back home by 5 or 6 in the evening, during which my mom and sis would be handling the night shift. Which means I'm left alone at home for the whole second half of the day. With the main distraction out of the way, I did what I thought I could do: my quiet times.

I really appreciate how God had it all planned out for me, the peace and quiet, and the absence of a major stumbling block when it came to doing quiet times (the computer), and the pretty stressful days that I had been through in the last few days gave me the impetus to seek God all the more earnestly. I did. I really did. And blessed they were my quiet times, so fulfilling, so satiating that I could not ask for more. When I finally got my PC and my Internet back, which is today, I started to go crazy trying to maintain my computer. Again. Trying hard to find a program to do something, then followed by searching for updates and then CD keys and all the never-ending computer chores that had been sucking my energy dry for so long kept me occupied for a while.

It was so different. Between doing quiet time and using the PC, my mind encourages me to play the computer but deep inside I wanted to spend just a little bit more time doing my quiet time, hoping that God would speak to me in one way or another. I compared my quiet time 'after-effects' in the last two three days with that of using the computer for an hour and what a difference it was! I clearly see now that God never stopped doing what He does best: bringing us closer to him each and every day, so long as we obey Him. So blessed I had been in the last few days of my walk with God, that I only wish to pass it on to someone else. But I shall first go to sleep, I have to get to work in 7 hours from now :D Have a great Christmas then!

More Than Chair Red Bear Red

What a week it has been for me! I certainly did not expect working at Sunway Pyramid to be so tiring. Why, it's not even a real job, so to speak because I hardly need to do anything other than to sit there and scan barcodes but it sure is easier said than done..not to mention that I suffered from a very terror punya case of food-poisoning (I think) on Tuesday, which was only the second day I started working. The diarrhea + vomit combo knocked me senseless for the entire Wednesday, and even till today I've yet to fully recover. What's worse, my sis, mom and dad also seem to be affected by the same thing, albeit not as serious as in my case. I wouldn't mind resting a few more days at home if not for the fact that I need to help out my parents at the store AND the camp is just one day away! Gah, group leader somemore...I guess Christina'll have to shoulder more of the work :D (It's good training,yeah)

I don't know how the camp this year would turn out but I suppose it's never been just about fun and games, enjoyment and laughter..perhaps God already has His amazing blueprint awaiting us at the campsite. Let's just wait, and see..what God wants to do..what God wants us to do.....

One Word: Yay!

After having to contend with an archaic hand-me-down printer for so long, the Canon BJC-265SP; (see picture below), I finally managed to get my grubby hands on a new scanner-printer-copier! :D I just wished I had bought it earlier cause all this while I had to make do with a printer that can't tell a colour ink cartridge from a black&white one, not to mention makes a whole lot of noise when I actually succeed in coaxing it into printing something. That's why I could not resist paying a visit to the still-running PC Fair at KLCC with Justin on yesterday.

The first day saw a relatively mild turnout of crowds because many people prefer to go on the last day to get the killer bargains but nevertheless by evening the fair was starting to get packed. We went in with just 50 bucks each, planning to get the money from the ATM after deciding on what to buy. And what a good decision it was, for I checked out several booths for my printer-scanner-copier. The first offered RM 288. I thought it was a steal because the unit looked absolutely gorgeous. But I didn't have the money with me so we walked on,telling the aunty at the booth that "I'll be back!". Several dozen booths later, we came to the booth that offered an even better RM 269. With free gifts even :D So yeah, the poor aunty never did see my face again after that xD

The not-so-happy part of the trip was the journey back home. I had not taken the printer-scanner-copier into account, as I found myself struggling to hug the huge printer box all the way home. We took the train to KLCC, and went back the same way. It was a challenge alright, what with the insane after-work traffic at the commuting stations. Luckily Justin was kind enough to help me carry it (take turns) so I didn't need to break my wallet and my muscles..

Interestingly, we saw this Indian pakcik who was angry at the fact that the KTM train was delayed for 10 minutes. Or so I think that's what he was angry about. Now 'angry' is actually quite an understatement, cause he scolded the government, scolded the ministry, the train operators, even the poor innocent guard who were controlling the crowd. To top it off, he spat on the track! Ah-pe-tui he went, all the while rattling off words too vulgar for this blog :D Talk about being expressive...if the train was delayed again he might've run amok, for all we know,haha.

Well, we went back home with sore hands and feet, but I was happy I made the trip there. My parents were quite shocked I actually bought something so expensive though when they saw it..oh well, my money ma :D Here are some pics:

[I know it's not very clear but I can't find a better pic]
My old, old Canon printer and...


Tadaa! My new printer-scanner-copier :D
And here's a drawing that I've scanned and edited using Google's Picasa:

At any rate, it sure beats taking pictures of my drawings :D Better go get some sleep then!

What's to come

Having enjoyed the privilege of going straight back to home after school for the past 2 years, I might soon have to rediscover what it's like to have to study at the office like I used to back when my parents owned a hardware shop in Kuantan before I shifted here. If you didn't already know, my dad is supposedly going to run a book store business in Pyramid and he'll need people to help him, obviously I'm included in the list :D So depending on how things turn out, the next time you visit Sunway Pyramid you would most probably see me at the counter of the book store scanning barcodes for the magazines....

~Sigh~....I really don't know how things would turn out in the near future but I suppose I'll surely miss all the free time and comfort of staying at home that I currently still enjoy. And running the bookstore means that I effectively have no more free time to myself (8 hours a day + transport + misc = pretty much the whole day), something that I realize I had taken for granted all this while..Not to mention that the bookstore is located outside the mall, meaning that it's semi-open air and if the work doesn't tire me out, the vehicle exhaust mixed with the deadly second-hand smoke from the nearby cafes would toast my lungs crisp by the end of next year. And my December holidays. Ruined. Not that planned anything but I won't be able to anymore, and even Christmas wouldn't be a day off I think. Driving license? Forget it ler..I'll have to continue leeching from other people's rides for another year until my STPM's over I guess.

But it's not all doom and gloom, I guess..with 500+ titles in the magazine store (kononnya), I'm sure I'd be able to find something interesting to read every now and then while working there. There's even Justice League in the magazine list but I dunno if it's a comic or what. And what better opportunity to go ice-skating more often :D There's no internet access cause there's no phone line I think, but with a wireless receiver I think can curi Starbuck's connection cause we're just opposite each other anyway. Bittorrent at the workplace? Let's hope the police doesn't raid,haha xD

What's to come,what's to come...I haven't the remotest idea to be honest but whatever happens, however things turn out to be, I can only continue to hope and trust in the LORD. Yea (^_^)

Just when you think that it wouldn't happen to you..

So that's how it goes..just when you think that the chances of it happening is next to nil, it jumps out at you and wham! You're left stunned, shocked, bruised, above all frustrated and disappointed at how things turned out to be such. I find it inconceivable that death strikes so suddenly, and again I know now how it can strike terror in some people, especially those who fears for their afterlife.

Then again, before you come and console me for whoever that I've just lost, let me just make it clear that none of relatives or friends kicked the bucket(Choi!!), just that my fellow companion that saw me through many rounds of Warcraft, Counter-Strike, Civilisations and a whole lot of other games, that stayed with me till the latest of nights, faithfully serving it's duty without any signs of stopping whatsoever, that I LEAST worried about : My Mouse

Yes, and what a time too it decided to fail on me, just when I was rushing into the enemies' base in a heated match of Dota my cursor suddenly went haywire, jumped around, scrolled up and zoomed in before dropping dead..silent..stiff. Motionless, it lay by the corner of the screen while my character was butchered by the AI opponents at their base. The glimpse of hope that came with restarting my PC faded as quickly as and before I knew it, I gave up all hope and thought about getting a new one as quickly as I possibly could instead.. (anyone with a spare mouse out there? really tight on the wallet this week :D)

Note that I'm typing this without my mouse which explains the different font used, so yeah, I had to use lots of keyboard shortcuts but unfortunately just using these shortcuts to replace the functions of the mouse is like trying to dig out of a prison with a tiny spoon : it gets the job done but sure is also ridiculously difficult at the same time..

Talking about deaths, real deaths this time, my friend Chia Wen's aunt just passed away..and just before her birthday which is today too..hope that her aunt's a Christian, that's all that I can say. I wonder though, should someone close and dear to me ever cross over to the spiritual plane, just what would I do? Just what can I do? I wonder..

Why the long delay in posts?

Allow me to just apologise to those of you who have wasted many precious minutes checking for updates to my blog as it's been sitting idly most of the time...why the slow and long delay in updating my blog? Again, rest assured that I'm not abandoning my blog, but it's just that I don't seem to be able to take the initiative to blog lately..but since Simon did a very nice post on his to-do list, I decided that I ought to come out with ..... a not-to-do list! Okay, not exactly original here but what the heck, I'll just give it a shot :D

Not-to-do List of Nov-Dec '06

1.Do Nothing
Ah yes, if there's one thing that I'll try not to do this holidays is to do absolutely nothing..nothing in this sense means to let the holidays fly by without keeping track of what exactly happened at the very end of it..it's too cliched to go "Aiyo, whatever happened to the holidays man? So fast over liao?" year after year after year after year, wishing that the holidays were just only starting when school's about to start again......

2.Leave Justice League Alone
Heck no! I must find a way to finish that whole 12 GB of 50+ episodes by this holiday the very latest..then I can back it up to DVDs cause it's occupying precious fresh estate on my hard disk drive. I must say that it's an enjoyable watch in more ways than one..sure, it's nowhere near modern -day animes in terms of storyline development or art quality (think HD-quality hits like Gundam or Appleseed..or even Vandread) nor does it exude the immediate charm and coolness of recently popular animes like Bleach or The Melancholies of Suzumiya Haruhi, not to mention its opening soundtrack is rather bland and the dull 3D-2D intro sequence doesn't really help to discard the notion that it's a kiddy Sunday morning cartoon..but it does make for a surprisingly relaxing watch and I've always liked the way how Superman can punch his enemies with enough brute strength to launch them crashing into walls and pillars. And Green Lantern is cool!! It's definitely interesting to see him bond with Hawkgirl after squabbling through the first dozen episodes. I'll find a way to finish it one way or another..

3.Leave my drawings alone
Another area that I hope to improve on actually.this holiday I must really find a way to brush up my drawing skills as it's been stagnant for more than a year I believe...not to mention learning how to use Photoshop to its full potential as I'm in the school editorial board next year. I've always been hugely impressed by those people who can come up with brilliant works of art using just Photoshop and a scanner..take the example that this pic below that I really like :D I'd give almost anything to be able to draw like this.......

4.Be content with my grand-daddy printer
I so definitely must get my hands on a new all-in-one printer/scanner/copier by this year-end...my current printer serves as nothing more than an annoying printer with lousy prints other than being the occasional footstool. I'm hoping to land a good deal in the coming PC Fair or maybe poke around at auction sites like eBay or Lelong for bargains..anyone with a scanner or printer to spare? :D

5.Keep textbooks tucked in a dark corner of the cabinet
Sad to say, I've got lots of bucking-up to do cause Form Six just isn't as easy as what I thought it would be..I figure I'll need to do truckloads of exercises if I really want to go for flying colours for my STPM's result. Already, I can think of a hundred and one things to do and studying ranks way, way down there at the bottom in my task hierarchy. Chemistry is a killer and it doesn't help when our country's education system is so stuck-up and inefficient. I mean, is passing exams really the whole point of education? It does seem to me that that's the case, more so fortified by my teacher's remark this morning during extra class that "you don't have know how the formula is derived, you just have to know how to use the formula to answer questions". So what, all we do is just processing the data then? If everyone did that, how could the formulas possibly be discovered in the first place then? Is it any wonder then that our graduates are always deemed pariahs when compared to overseas graduates like those from the UK for example...

6.Keep out of touch with my friends
Many of the friends that I made while in national service have probably long since forgotten my name I suppose, seeing that I did not really make much effort to contact them after we parted ways at the end of the camp. To make things harder, they either live of study far away from my place (Subang) so it's next to impossible to visit them for say yumcha or something for someone like me who can't even drive yet..

Oh such fun..

Hello to everyone who's reading this. I know I'm way overdue in my updates, so do forgive me for that (I blame daphne for the late posts). I had wanted to blog about some stuff but everytime I end up not doing so for one reason for another. But I just today was very fun, so I just thought that I should not let go of such a nice topic to blog about :D

TRU TRU TRU...for the uninitiated, TRU is Teens R Us (no relationship whatsoever to Toys R Us mind you) and like the name implies involves teenagers. Today was the last day of TRU for this year and looking back, I am more than surprised by how much things have changed. Still fresh in my mind are those lonely TRU sessions, where going to TRU meant sticking around with Justin and having to bear being with so many strangers in the church. Of course, in Christina How's case, she's a social butterfly. She adapted in like what, 2 months (or maybe less) felt right at home after one year. For me, it was really dreadful..I have the most terrible communication skills on earth and after 9 years of being with roughly the same circle of friends, I found it an immense challenge to move on and start anew my social life. I'm just like that, an introvert most of the time and never the kind of person to reach out to strangers and make friends (which explains why the "Adeline" incident (for those of you who know it) was such an unforgettable experience from God).

I still fondly remember how I used to struggle with just memorizing everyone's name in the beginning. I mean, I'm just one person so it's easy for them to remember my name but I had to remember like 30+ TRUers and helpers' names. What a challenge it was indeed for an introvert like me..those were the days and if not for TRU, I would still probably be a sore introvert who sits at home and plays computer games everyday until I rot and die a painful death with no friends to mourn for me at my funeral . It really means a lot when you have TRU as your "backup" network of friends, so to speak. Friends whom you know are a better lot, who gives you support, who shares problems with you..not everyone would have special friends in TRU I suppose but chances are you would be able to find at least one, if not more...

And I could also see how other people have changed throughout my three years in TRU..take Hannah for example (hope you don't mind Hannah :D). When I first knew Hannah, she was really..cold. Yes,cold. I mean it in an honest way Hannah if you're reading this, strictly no offense intended. You weren't exactly the friendliest of the TRUers and I must say it took very long before I got acquainted to you, even that as "Crissy's sister" only and not knowing you personally. But this year, I saw the brighter, clearer sides of your personality: Firm, Friendly, Doesn't Like To Procrastinate, Caring, Warm and..well, you get the idea.

I also appreciate the fact that since I moved here and joined TRU, I gained an extra cousin. That "new" cousin of mine is Justina Lee Su Yen (hope I spelled correctly) :D I had always been very close with Justin since young (very young) but I just never got to know Justina at all. To me, she was just this weird, emo cousin of mine whom I didn't like to mix around with. Besides, I only see Justin and his family like twice a year so there's hardly time for get-to-know-each-other chit-chats.. But after I shifted here, I began seeing her more and more often because I'm always visiting Justin to play games with him. Initially, it took a lot of endurance to even engage her in conversation, and I meant it literally xD It wasn't easy but I'd say it was well worth it because I witnessed how she changed from being unfriendly to the crazy, creative and wacky guitar-playing, cheeseburger-loving and Joey Gilbert-supporting Justina that she is today (^_^) I don't know what was the catalyst that drove her change, maybe it's TRU, maybe it's not but my money's on TRU and it's amazing when we see that God's plans are way beyond our comprehension and more often than not leaves us awestruck and just plain stunned.

Next year, I'll be in college group..I'm not sure how it's going to be (although I heard that it involves a lot of fishballs and laughing on a full stomach) but I'm sure God has His own plans in store for me. Goodbye TRU, it's certainly been wonderful. Like someone said today, the three years that I spent in TRU are far better than all the other years of my life before it put together :D Three cheers for TRU!!!

Back Again

Ah, it sure feels great to have taken an entire week's break from blogging :D Not that blogging's a chore of course, don't get me wrong. But as with doing any other form of writing, I find that my creative lines of thought are not exactly as free-flowing as I would like them to be. I should be posting again soon and (I mean, this doesn't count as an actual blog right?) hopefully I'll have interesting topics to write about. Right now, I know that everyone's gone out of their minds trying to beat the high-scores of Justin's Irritating Game :D Sure feels nice to have the top spot,haha. Hope Chuen doesn't beat it too soon..if you haven't an inkling as to what I'm saying, or haven't tried the game, head on to www.the-noodle-shop.blogspot.com and give it a go!

Transparency Is Idealistic..well, pretty much.

First of all, there's no need for alarm over the all-too-familiar title of this post (at least for those who regularly check out Jon's blog). Like what Jon mentioned, more often than not there had been times when I realize that certain topics are best left untouched on this blog. Or anywhere else online for that matter. It's really not quite possible to be totally transparent, totally honest when you have the Internet as your writing medium. Beats me how some people post everything under the sun on their blogs, especially when it concerns private matters like their love life *gasp* or dark secrets that you wouldn't even dare imagine.

For me, these people really take things too far...but then again, it's their freedom I suppose. How ironic that the paperback diary now have a totally opposite twin in the form of electronic journals. Back then reading someone's diary was considered unethical and looked down upon as a dishonest behavior but in this day and age, millions of people are seemingly just begging to have their online diaries read. Not that it's a bad thing of course (I mean, I'm one of them too). But the issue remains that I'll never be able to bring myself to be a hundred percent open and honest. The the inability to be transparent is...to be frank I really don't know if it's a good or bad thing. Perhaps it reflects sensitivity on my part. Then again maybe there are just too many things that I stash away in the corners of my heart and memory, hoping they'd never see the daylights again. Either way,only God knows me through and through, inside out outside in up down left right from the rising of the sun till it's going down...and to have my whole life played out again when I meet God, I really wonder if I'll stand the the test of fire...

But before you try to sign in to your blogger to view my 'invisible' posts like how Jon masks his, I'm sorry to say that I don't have any at the moment :D (does it work this way for blogger in the first place?) Oh well,I'll ponder about this some other time. On another topic, I'm currently playing CS Source with Justin over the net using a LAN emulator called Hamachi. Anybody fancy joining us can just drop me or Justin a line :D Maybe I'll go study now...(rightt)

So really?

Following my previous post that my blog was not unique enough, it seems that many other people think otherwise. Well, three people at least (you know who you are, except for the spammer that wanted to show me how to earn 900$ in a month...darn those marketing people). I really appreciate such positive feedback, and I never knew I was helping Justin to improve his vocab along the way (so maybe I should include a 'super unique' word for every post,haha) So before I get smacked on my forehead for not realizing my ability to write my butt off, just to quote from a fellow reader :D, I'll get back to my business of blogging. Thanks for reading guys!

Back in my high school days, my friends knew me as the nefarious 'CC guy'. CC didn't stand for chicken curry if you didn't already know, though I love chicken curry. Especially when there's ikan bilis and lots of kuah kari and.....(rumble rumble) But anyway, CC meant cybercafe and when it comes to inviting people to cybercafes, I was always the one who would nag everyone to go. "Come lah, for a while only mah. Haiya, tell your mom got St. John lah. Long time never play with you di leh.." And we'd never fail to go in groups of less than four people. We went pretty often, at least once a week. I left after I finished Form 3 to shift to KL and everytime I met back my old friends they would lament how they no longer go to cybercafes. "There's no one to ajak. Not like when you were around you would call everyone. Now we don't go to cybercafes at all..." Of course, that was like 3 years ago but surprisingly, my love for doing this whole 'invite-invite' thing is evidently still burning strong, as I discovered yesterday.

Ei Leen had invited my sis to go for ice-skating cause she was bringing two of her friends whom she is also inviting to camp. I had always been looking for a chance to go skating, and it was a great oppurtunity to tag along as well. However, I was the only guy going (Ei Leen + 2 girls + my sis + Justina = all girls), so I thought of asking a few more people to come together. At first I called Simon, then I called Christina. Later I thought of Arjund, so I had Simon call Arjund. Christina mentioned Liesl, Hannah, John and Jane. So I asked Christina to call Liesl, John and Jane while I called Hannah. After what must have been like more than an hour of calling back and forth to confirm this and that, the final list of people whom I had managed to gather was more than 10! Christina thought it was somewhat like the Fishster thing Jon had shown us, and I had wanted to illustrate it for you but alas, it would take me a while so I would work on it later and post it should I ever get it done :D

It was a nice day overall. I had learned to waddle on the ice rink but that was about it. I can't remember how many times I had to grab on to Justin and Simon to avoid falling down. Why, I even grabbed on to strangers a few times in my moments of desperation when Justin and Simon weren't around. But don't you worry, they were all guys in case you suddenly get the idea that I got 'lucky' at the skating rink, so to speak (nudge nudge, wink wink) Thanks to my incredible amount of luck and my ability to randomly hold on to other people for support, I only fell once! Yay! Not bad considering it was my first time ice skating eh? My sis wasn't so lucky though, she fell on the tip of her backbone, and she was groaning in pain back at home. Hope she didn't get any permanent injuries....

Unfortunately, things didn't go so well on the way home from pyramid. My dad had to go out of his way to fetch me, Arjund and Simon. He had other things to do and was really really upset when by the time I finally reached home. He's not the kind to scold you, he just keeps it to himself and puts on the "I'm not happy with what you had done" kind of face. Oh well...lesson learned: better plan things in advance the next time. It felt really bad to had to trouble dad like I did today, because I know that he already has to work very hard to deliver summonses (his job) and here I go asking him to fetch me here and there...-sigh- Looks like I have a lot to repay dad for once he finally retires and I get a stable job......

But I suppose I should end the post on a happy note. Everyone had fun (those who can skate at least) and I finally got the chance to skate. At least now I can tell people that I've skated before :D I'd be back in Kuantan till Tuesday, so I probably can't get the fishter diagram done any time soon. In the mean time, happy holidays people!

Happy Birthday ol' Cuz

At the request of Justin, I shall attempt to make my blog updates speedier :D

Lately, I've been having blogger's block, if there actually exists such a term in the first place. Not knowing what to write, I guess my blogger persona's having an identity crisis ... I'm at a loss as of what to write for my blog, and also how to write what I want to write. The 3 blogs that I regularly check are Justin's noodle-shop and Jon and Simon's Xanga blogs and each one has a very distinctive style and also subject matter. While Simon and Jon focused more on Godly and spiritual issues, Justin's one is more humorous and is a pitstop so to speak for many people. Sorta like mamak I guess, always the happening spot to hang around evident from the constant postings on the chat board :D

And here I am, thinking hard how to write my blog. What to blog about in the first place? What kind of style to use? Informal? Formal? Manglish? Or english-English? I had wanted Justin's warm casualness, Jon's professional touch and also Simon's depth...not to mention Crissy's natural mastery at painting imageries with seemingly ordinary sentences. Kinda weird that I should feel like this because the real me has not really suffered from any identity crises before. Yet my blogger persona right now is truly confused. Even if I didn't want to, I'd subconsciously try to style my writing after Jon, Simon or Justin. Maybe I shouldn't read other people's blogs too often (^_^)

I suppose that a blog, at the very core is just a channel for expressing views, opinions and thoughts. Perhaps that's what I didn't take into consideration, jumping into the blogging bandwagon without any real idea of what to accomplish or achieve in the first place. I shall remember that the next time I post. Not to give the impression that it's a bad thing to be influenced by other people's blogs, I just want a little bit more originality and transparency, transparent in the sense that I can actually write what I want to write, in the way that I want to write it and not because certain things that certain people wrote in certain ways. Now that's for certain :D

On a brighter note, just wanna say Happy Birthday to my one and only (I have many cousins,but there's only one Justin so the term applies) cuz Justin Lee!! Sorry I couldn't get the best models available, I thought I could at least get one nice one but ended up with a kinky bunny instead....can't wait to see how you gonna display THAT without being thought of as serong-minded, haha. Oh well, have a great year ahead!

Happy Birthday ol' Cuz

Hope you like the present I got ya... Should've put more quality-control over the passwords. Next year have to plan harder wei :D Oh well, have a nice year ahead haha.

Post a post

What shall I say...not exactly in the mood to type something but thought that I should post something ordinary, rather than finding every opportunity to write about life-changing encounters with God (not that I don't like too, but I just thought that I should write about OTHER stuffs too, lest you guys think that I'm too holy) So lately it's been normal. Yup. Just, ordinary. Of course, I know that I should appreciate the good life that I'm living, but sometimes I just wish for some sort of action. Especially after what John mentioned, I wished that I could experience more Godly encounters (oh no, here I go again...)

Most of you would know that I mentioned NS to be a fun experience. Well, thats because it really was, but not just in the conventional way. Sure, I loved hanging around with friends 24/7, flying the Flying Fox, failing the obstacle course (okaylah, failing's not exactly fun but..) and most importantly soaking in the sense of FREEDOM. Don't get me wrong here, there are hundreds of rules and regulations to follow but I meant freedom in the sense that I'm away from the protective eyes of my parents. No one to fend for me but myself.....and God. The camp was where I experienced God the most, because being all alone and vulnerable, I only had the LORD to turn to. And turn to Him I did...

I still remember how I boldly asked the LORD to guard my locker from all the itchy-handed people there. I hooked my key to my pencil case's zipper and everyday, after locking my locker I'll just leave my pencil case under my bed. Talk about crazy, and come to think back of it I'm quite perplexed as of what had made me do so. True enough, God must've put angels around my locker because I've never lost a single cent...it was about trusting God I guess though I struggled between trusting and testing the LORD. Unfortunately for my bedside friend, he lost two mp3 players after about a month. That made me insecure, so I later took off my keys and attached it to my wrist instead. Until now I still wonder whether I had made the right choice...

It was also during the camp that I've managed to attend Sunday worship in English, Mandarin and Tamil all in the SAME day!! Talk about frustrated, my friend Billy (Hi there if you're reading this :D) was awfully upset that Sunday worship literally took the entire Sunday. Time's precious lah in NS as we were rarely allotted enough free time to do personal things like wash our clothes and stuff like that. Well, at least now I know how the phrase "Jesus is the King of Kings" sounds in Tamil slang xD

I'll also never forget the one incident that involved a girl called Adeline (I hope she's close to the LORD now). You should know better what happened, Justin :D To put it simply, that was the one time when I genuinely felt God move in me. It was unmistakable, the strong powerful rush of the heart. Heck, I thought I was having a heart attack, but feeling that God was pushing me in a certain direction, I threw caution to the wind. What ensued after that was truly a memorable experience. (Sorry I can't really publish what exactly had happened, not until I get Adeline's permission) I don't know how other people have encountered God before but mine was certainly anything but expected. It must have been amazing for the prophets of old who had direct access to God Himself....

And what better way to enjoy Malay food than to eat at the camp's canteen for two months straight? Sambal and curry are served often and I won't say that I really miss the food there but it's not too bad. Sometimes it's even delicious, like the Ayam Masak Merah plus a special order of Burger Ayam Tambah Telur (drool.....) But on really bad days they serve us Ikan Goreng Batu Style. You heard me right, I said Batu. Real, hard rock. It's an absolute mystery how they managed to fry the ikan tenggiri to such an extreme level of hardness...not even our Penolong Ketua Jurulatih (a tough army veteran) could chew on that thing.

Actually I wasn't planning on posting about my NS experience but I just drifted into the idea somehow. Guess I'd just end the post here, although I know it feels like a half-written novel that didn't get past the first chapter. Another day, another time. Now if only there's a way to recycle the 10+ hours that I've wasted today since coming home from school........

The mail from God

Today, a mail came in for me. "Ah ha, did I win a contest?", I wondered gleefully. But when I glanced at the letter, I was disappointed. It was one of those newsletters from India. For those of you who didn't know, I am the Secretary Treasurer of my church's youth group and we sponsor two children around the world, one in Lebanon and one in India. The organisation in India handling the sponsorship program, CMCT (Christian Missionary Charitable Trust i think) mails newsletters to sponsors like me (well, I represent the youth group). I opened the letter but only read it about an hour later cause my sis was asking me a maths question that she couldn't answer (PMR paper).

Interestingly, for the past two weeks or so I had been getting my priorities all screwed up. Homework was at the bottom while getting my BitTorrent to work was top. I must've spent like countless hours on my PC trying to fix one thing after another. Somehow, my PC never works the way it should, giving me errors that are often too embarrassing to even mention. One thing is that I'm very arrogant when it comes to things like this. If I couldn't get something to work, I'll hopelessly spend all my time until I either get it to work or I have no more time left. Which explains why I dislike maths, problems I can't solve really bug me to no end....

But back to the matter, I was really feeling down in the dumps because I messed up my time management. (WHY?!?!?! WHY WON'T YOU WORK PROPERLY FOR ONCE YOU LOUSY PIECE OF SILICON!!!!) I had realised that I spent so much on the computer that I was suddenly 'too busy' for God. "Oh no, it's too late too read the Bible. Oh well..." And then the letter came, and as I read the letter I was yet again surprised, and amazed at how God decided to take such a long route to answer my prayers. The letter contained a lot of prayer items for the missionary workers that toil and labour everyday over at India. Halfway through the letter, a prayer was inserted. It read like this:

TOO BUSY

Forgive me, Lord, that I allow
My days and hours to be
So filled with trifling tasks, that oft
I find no time for Thee,

My thoughts are so oft occupied
With countless earthly things,
When Thou wouldst have them mount on High
By faith with eagle wings.

So many duties round me press,
That rob me of the time
I fain would spend with Thee, my Lord,
In fellowship divine.

Too busy - O forbid, dear Lord,
That I should ever be
Too much engrossed in worldly tasks
To spend an hour with Thee!

That I should let the din of life
Drown out Thy voice of love,
And, groveling in the "sands of time"
Lose out on things above.

O help me, Lord, to take the time -
To set all else aside,
That in the Secret Place of prayer,
I may with thee abide;

To hear what thou wouldst say to me,
And hold communion sweet;
To praise Thy precious worthy Name
And worship at Thy feet;

To hearken to Thy holy will,
To feel Thy cleansing pow'r -
O may I ne'er let aught deprive
My soul of this blest hour!

It couldn't have been at a better time. It's truly amazing how circumstances and situations can be used to God's advantage. I never thought that the answer to my prayers would come from India! But as it stands, I owe God a lot of quiet time. And I'm afraid that if I keep telling God I have "no time", God would say the same thing when I finally meet Him. I guess I'd just end this post with this line: Do not limit God according to your own expectations, God does things in ways that we as humans would never ever have imagined (^.^)v ." Cheers!

See

I have two eyes, you have two eyes. Barring all those who are disabled either from birth or by unfortunate accident, we all have the same two eyes, no more and no less. Our vision's stereoscopic, by scientific definition. I'm pretty sure that man could not have come this far without our good ol' eyes, and God probably made eyes for us so that we would be able to enjoy the beauty of God's works, but......

Your eyes are the windows to your souls, they say. Cliched, yes....but true. Too true...many times, the things that we see shape our personality, our minds, the way we think, the way we feel..to put it in the simplest terms, it affects our very souls. Hence the phrase "To see is to believe" (I have it on my NS shirt, haha) is often the number one mantra for most people. Just by what we see alone, it's often too easy to pass hasty but hardly accurate judgements. (It's actually kinda late now but I just thought that I should blog about this at the very least..)

This week has been a wonderful one for me, mostly due to the fact that I've just only turned 18 last Thursday (my friend said that I can now finally visit the 'I need love' shop...shivers). I received really nice SMS-es,with the first one coming in at the wee hours of 12.02AM and I have Justina to thank for that :D It was totally great to celebrate my birthday this year because people actually remembered. I was happy that my friends sent me messages and that my classmates asked me to go to Summit to watch a movie, and like the Sims, my social bar was totally recharged that day. But as I reminisced about it, I suddenly realised something more important. On my birthday my mom fried a delicious piece of fish, made fried chicken drumsticks, prepared red-coloured boiled eggs (it's a Chinese custom if you didn't already know) AND made a nice, cool glass of lemonade (ahhh....) so that I could gulp it down straight after coming back from school. And I was really satiated, having feasted like a king but now that I ponder about it...

Ever since I was small I could see that I have a father and a mother. I could see that my mom works hard doing household chores. I could see that dad works equally as hard to earn money to feed the family. But what I couldn't see for a very long time was WHY they had to trouble themselves so. My dad loves me, and I could feel it when he yanks out ten dollar notes for me to spend even though he hardly has enough money to pump gas (his car runs on gas) these days, while my mom loves me even more as she works her butt off everyday just to make sure that I am well-fed, grow up healthy and always have clean ironed clothes to wear. It's always been like that, but it's just that my eyes failed to 'see' these things before this. How could I have been so blind?

Nowadays, I feel that I often rely too heavily on these two eyes of mine, it's just all too easy to take things as they seem. "Ohhh, he looks mean. Better not mess with him..". "Hey, she looks cute, and kind too...". "It looks like I'm just too busy with Form Six to have time for other things,shucks." And the list just goes on and on and on...

Hahhhh....I guess this explains why it's been hard to connect to God lately. It's easy for me to make connections when I see things, but God being the invisible being that He is, I've always had a lot of trouble trying to fill up my spiritual tank. But that's also one of the reasons why I've always looked forward to TRU: it's the best place that I could think of to power up my spiritual batteries. At TRU, I don't try to think about God. I don't try to talk about God. I just...perceive. I suppose that when it comes to communicating with the great and mighty God who is up there, if my mind fails and my mouth falls behind, then all I have left is just my heart. And that's how it works best.."God works in ways that we cannot see"

I just pray that I would be to have more of that ability to see deeper into things. To perceive with both my eyes AND my heart and soul and conscience. But even if I had eyes a gazillion times more powerful than that of an eagle, I would still never be able to see things the way God does. When I was in my NS camp, there were two occasions when God gave me the opportunity to sort of 'look' into the souls of two individuals and it was indeed a very valuable experience. It showed me just how little that my frail pair of eyes is capable of seeing...

I'd love to write about the two individuals I mentioned but 'll save it cause if I don't sleep now, my eyes would definitely not be able to see anything tomorrow morning. It's already past midnight, my goodness...oh well, hope that wasn't too long a blog for you guys. Good night for now :D Oh, and pardon me if I used the word 'see' too many times. Ooops, I did it again... xD

See

I have two eyes, you have two eyes. Barring all those who are disabled either from birth or by unfortunate accident, we all have the same two eyes, no more and no less. Our vision's stereoscopic, by scientific definition. I'm pretty sure that man could not have come this far without our good ol' eyes, and God probably made eyes for us so that we would be able to enjoy the beauty of God's works, but......

Your eyes are the windows to your souls, they say. Cliched, yes....but true. Too true...many times, the things that we see shape our personality, our minds, the way we think, the way we feel..to put it in the simplest terms, it affects our very souls. Hence the phrase "To see is to believe" (I have it on my NS shirt, haha) is often the number one mantra for most people. Just by what we see alone, it's often too easy to pass hasty but hardly accurate judgements. (It's actually kinda late now but I just thought that I should blog about this at the very least..)

This week has been a wonderful one for me, mostly due to the fact that I've just only turned 18 last Thursday (my friend said that I can now finally visit the 'I need love' shop...shivers). I received really nice SMS-es,with the first one coming in at the wee hours of 12.02AM and I have Justina to thank for that :D It was totally great to celebrate my birthday this year because people actually remembered. I was happy that my friends sent me messages and that my classmates asked me to go to Summit to watch a movie, and like the Sims, my social bar was totally recharged that day. But as I reminisced about it, I suddenly realised something more important. On my birthday my mom fried a delicious piece of fish, made fried chicken drumsticks, prepared red-coloured boiled eggs (it's a Chinese custom if you didn't already know) AND made a nice, cool glass of lemonade (ahhh....) so that I could gulp it down straight after coming back from school. And I was really satiated, having feasted like a king but now that I ponder about it...

Ever since I was small I could see that I have a father and a mother. I could see that my mom works hard doing household chores. I could see that dad works equally as hard to earn money to feed the family. But what I couldn't see for a very long time was WHY they had to trouble themselves so. My dad loves me, and I could feel it when he yanks out ten dollar notes for me to spend even though he hardly has enough money to pump gas (his car runs on gas) these days, while my mom loves me even more as she works her butt off everyday just to make sure that I am well-fed, grow up healthy and always have clean ironed clothes to wear. It's always been like that, but it's just that my eyes failed to 'see' these things before this. How could I have been so blind?

Nowadays, I feel that I often rely too heavily on these two eyes of mine, it's just all too easy to take things as they seem. "Ohhh, he looks mean. Better not mess with him..". "Hey, she looks cute, and kind too...". "It looks like I'm just too busy with Form Six to have time for other things,shucks." And the list just goes on and on and on...

Hahhhh....I guess this explains why it's been hard to connect to God lately. It's easy for me to make connections when I see things, but God being the invisible being that He is, I've always had a lot of trouble trying to fill up my spiritual tank. But that's also one of the reasons why I've always looked forward to TRU: it's the best place that I could think of to power up my spiritual batteries. At TRU, I don't try to think about God. I don't try to talk about God. I just...perceive. I suppose that when it comes to communicating with the great and mighty God who is up there, if my mind fails and my mouth falls behind, then all I have left is just my heart. And that's how it works best.."God works in ways that we cannot see"

I just pray that I would be to have more of that ability to see deeper into things. To perceive with both my eyes AND my heart and soul and conscience. But even if I had eyes a gazillion times more powerful than that of an eagle, I would still never be able to see things the way God does. When I was in my NS camp, there were two occasions when God gave me the opportunity to sort of 'look' into the souls of two individuals (I'll blog about this another day) and it was indeed a valuable experience. It showed me just how little that my frail pair of eyes is capable of seeing. I'd love to write about the two individuals I mentioned but 'll save it cause if I don't sleep now, my eyes would definitely not be able to see anything tomorrow morning. It's already past midnight, my goodness...oh well, hope that wasn't too long a blog for you guys. Good night for now :D Oh, and pardon me if I used the word 'see' too many times. Ooops, I did it again... xD

So different

Lest anyone starts to get the impression that the author of this blog is going to abandon the blog soon, I thought that I should pen down (well not literally I guess), or should I say type down...oh forget it. Here's a snapshot of my not-so-ordinary Sunday then........

I woke up at five today. Yup, five. FIVE. Dang, really wished I could've slept a little more..I had to skip church today to attend this St.John's State Review thing, which turned out to be little more than a game of "let's see who can stand longer under the sun without fainting". So yeah, I stood a good number of hours today, and half my Sunday went to this totally unfruitful activity. At least now I know that next year around this time I'd most probably be 'busy', should I be so lucky to be invited to go again, so to speak :D

In the afternoon I didn't do much, just lazed around and studied a teensy weensy tiny bit. Then came the time to go to this play at Taylor's college called MOUSETRAP. Now having previously been to two drama/plays prior to this, I wouldn't say that I'm the kind of person who likes this sort of stuff very much. 'Julius Caesar' was a terrible experience because I couldn't understand the thick Roman accents while the more recent 'Broken Bridges' was pretty good but not exactly good enough yet to warrant genuine interest. So along came Justin saying "Hey Ken, wanna go or not to this play called MOUSETRAP? Come lah, it's very fun wan!" and being the 'i-can't-say-no...' person that I am, I ended up going also in the end.

To my surprise, it turned to be really entertaining and I was quite thoroughly occupied throughout the whole play, trying my best to figure out who's the real murderer and all. And when it finally ended , they called out all the people involved in the production. Everyone was clapping, cheerful and all. One of the them (she played a role called Molly in the drama) even got a nice bouquet of flowers from her cool, calm and stylish boyfriend. And then the whole scenario just sorta caught me, like here I am, among all these people. Such joy, such luxury that we have such an opportunity to enjoy ourselves like this..while at the very same time, people in different parts of the world go through really different circumstances. Just as we were watching the play, somewhere in Iraq there were also probably hundreds of innocent people getting killed by car-bombs, truck-bombs and what-nots. Just as we all enjoyed ourselves and had a great time there, many kids in rural and backward parts of India have no choice but to fight yet another night of howling coldness and paralyzing hunger. Just as we have the comfort of knowing that we have our nice and comfy beds to look forward to, those who live in the slums in America like the Detroit area know too well that peace and quiet is something that they could only wish for in their wildest dreams. It's just...different. Just so different.................................................................

Never say 'Yes' too soon...

Lately, I've been getting myself into all sorts of miseries just because I muttered the 'magic word' more often than I should've. The 'magic word' in question is the one word that seals big businesses, the one word that most people, if not everyone like to hear, the one word that most teenagers nowadays probably won't utter to their parents and also the one word that sometimes you wish you had not said when so hastily when trouble finally befalls you. The word being....'yes'. Just in the last week alone, I had somehow managed to put myself into such a tight situation just because of the above-mentioned 'magic word'.

Simon called me up in the middle of the week to ask if I could share something during TRU about the conference that we attended in SIB a few weeks back. So in my "Ah, it's gonna be a piece of cake" mindset, I said yes. No problem. Sure can wan. Then on Thursday, a teacher asked if anyone wanted to be the facilitator for this National Science Championship thing organised by Dumex (yeap, it's for kids). The reward is a national-level certificate (they say lah, I'm not so sure) and a handsome sum of RM25 a day. Wow...do you wanna join, Ken? Yes! Then later I realised that there's a briefing on Saturday afternoon 2-4 pm. Great...clash with TRU. So okay, never mind. I thought that I wouldn't get selected for it anyway. (They told me they'll choose who to go)

Then on Thursday night Aunty Collene called me to ask if I could lead the study on Acts for Saturday's TRU. Thinking that I'll just reject the Dumex job even if I do get selected for it, I said yes again. Yup, can lah Aunty Collene. No problem. No problem my foot it turned out to be the next day...I DID get selected for it because they couldn't find enough people. I had wanted to pull out but then I thought that I should be a man of my words, so I went along with it. By now I had almost wanted to kill myself for having committed myself to a thousand and one things without proper prior considerations. What to do, what to do? Anymore yes-es and I might as well hit my head against the wall...I was either going to miss TRU or the Saturday briefing for the Dumex thing, both of which was not exactly possible at that time...

Thankfully for me, the briefing got pushed to an earlier time so I managed to juggle between both the tasks without ending in disaster. But it did ruin my plan to go look for birthday gifts at Subang Parade, cause September just so happens to be a nice month to give birth I guess, (yes Simon, your theory is quite logical). But it was quite a lesson for me to refrain from making decisions too hastily, cincai-ly the next time. Always think carefully before you decide to commit yourself to something, be it helping a friend or doing a simple chore for your mom. If you are unable to keep your promises, you never know how much trouble you might cause others. Don't wait till it's too late to say no......

I want to post but....

Another Sunday, another long week ahead :D I had wanted to post something but looks like i better catch more 40-winks cause last night slept late. Pondering some issues now, i'll post it when it's appropriate and when I have the time. Now to prepare for a battle with yet another dreadful Monday....

The two sides of the coin :D

STUPID HARD DISK!!!! Unfortunately, I seem to be having hard disk probelms. My PC now hangs every other hour..anyone with a spare hard disk out there ? :D I also noticed that Blogger is quite sluggish compared to Xanga. Is anyone using the new Blogger Beta? It looks pretty cool...

Just yesterday, as I was walking out of the school (school's already over at that time of course, I don't ponteng wan :D) with my friends, we were chatting bout last week's school holidays. So yeah, I mentioned to my friend that I was at this conference in SIB KL and didn't do any sort of revision whatsoever during the entire week. Halfway through the conversation he said that "You know ah, you Christians ah, like to gather one oh..You see us Buddhists like to do stuff, like donate blood. So good what? I get paid ten bucks somemore..."

Lest you get the wrong impression of a heated religious debate, we were just chatting casually about it. (And I didn't get paid for MY blood...is A-type blood cheaper?) He couldn't finish his sentence when we came to the gate and he went off to the bicycle shack. I didn't really think about the whole matter but I just let it linger in my mind. At home, I thought about what he said and yeah, to a certain degree his comments made sense. It did feel like we (I'm saying SJGC in general) aren't doing much for the community. I mean, the way I see it the emphasis is more on spreading the gospel and less on community service, what with all the Christian concerts and conferences doing mass evengelisms here and there.

I found myself caught between the two sides of the coin. On one hand, we could really put some effort into giving a little back to the public community around us. It sure is easy to be complacent with our lives. I have many things that I complain about, like how I'd like a new laptop and more pocket money. But everyday when it's time for lunch or dinner, I know that I'd be stoned for such lack of gratitude. My mom's the kind to never let us complain that there's not enough food, so a typical meal could feed many poor and hungry people around the world. I mean, I have yet to see anyone else whose mom makes rice with fried eggs and nuggets for breakfast before going to school in the morning. Most of the people I've asked are lucky to have a glass of milk, let alone cooked rice. And all the time there are people out there who live in such terrible, horrible conditions that you could hardly imagine what it's like to be in their shoes.

But then again the more articulate among you might argue that we should put God first. That God is the one who is able to make things right, so our first priority is to worship him and pray for those who are suffering. Like, how much can you alone do to help other people? How much can one church do? Just sit back and wait for God to save the people. If there's anyone who can do it, it's gotta be God, right?

......................

Interestingly, because my PC died while I was halfway writing this, I went to look up for some info in my bible regarding this issue. And I came to 2 Peter something..it went "Since everything will be destroyed in this way,what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed it's coming....But in keeping with His promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness." Just like that, my questions were answered. (God must've thought very thoroughly about the questions that we would ask of him when He planned His salvation for us) It says 'holy and godly lives', so I take it that it goes back to obeying God's commands. The first being loving God fully and deeply, while the second loving our 'neighbours' as ourselves. Which means that yes, worshipping God comes first but it is also important that we make an effort to those around us who are not as fortunate as us. Community service, I feel, should come from having a close relationship with God where we realise how much he loves everyone and not just us, that we should feel compelled from our own hearts to spread God's love to other people, especially the non-believers.

I know it's hard, loving others as ourselves brings to mind something that only young children could do, like how they share candy, pillows, toys and what-nots so affectionately, sharing because they want to and not expecting anything in return. No wonder Jesus looked upon children so lovingly....

Lost in wonder...

Finally, I'm back home early today! Ah..in case you didn't know, as of now I am currently attending a youth conference (like a workshop lah) in SIB KL (http://sibkl.org.my/htm/home.htm) church. It started with an opening night concert on Tuesday and today was a full-day workshop. Anyway, I just thought I'd post about what happened on the Tuesday night concert...

So yeah, there we were: me, Simon, Arjund, Liesl, Jane, Shanice, Ii-Ern, Ii-Shan, Aunty Collene and Aunty Cindy. Of course, before that I think it deserves mention the fact that the ride to the SIB KL church was absolutely positively the zaniest,craziest one that I've experienced so far. I mean, I'd rather not elaborate on it but to sum it up let's just say that now I know KL people are the considered the rudest drivers around....

Okay, back to the concert..so there we were at the hall. Or SANCTUARY as they call it. And goodness it was big..so big. With two projectors projecting on both sides of the stage, the stage looked every bit suitable for an Eason Chan concert, or whoever else for that matter. Much to my chagrin, we had to sit closest to the stage. No chairs for us..(the seatings are ala cinema one) So okay. Nevermind. We sat. And when the event started, I was just sitting there blown away by the amazing programs that the church's media team came up with. It was so proffessional that I thought TV3 or something was there to record the event.

They made it seem like a real tv program, with the proffessional hosts and all. Humor was fairly abundant that night and we were certainly tickled pink by the emcees' antics. Not long after, the concert kicked off. It was the PlanetShakers super-energetic-jump-jump-jump that kind of worship style, as we all expected. I had never been really comfortable when in this kind of concerts, not too keen to lift my hands and jump around and preferring instead to just sing along. So, yeah, it was awkward..(they asked us to take five steps to the front in the beginning, and only Kelvin and I walked in front. When I looked back I was like 'What the??! Hoi, what you all doing at the back?!?!?" By now I was hopelessly close to the stage and what to do, when they started jumping I felt compelled to follow along. Ouch...

It was certainly VERY tiring to sing and jump around at the same time, so I take my hat off to the seven or eight on-stage singers who seemed to be running on Energisers while my Eveready left me breathless halfway through the songs....But one thing that I couldn't understand was that why need to jump? I mean...I just don't get it. So I did what I could, following the crowd somewhat aimlessly, not being able to really focus on worshipping and pulled back by my self-consciousness.

That was, until they sang the don't know how many-eth song...I kept thinking and pondering and finally, I figured out that it was never about jumping in the first place. Nor the fancy guitars. Nor the funky drum beats and the killer synthesizer tunes. It was just...just worshipping God. Just giving God all of me, giving Him everything; my soul, my mind, my body. Even if it's only for a moment. A minute. A second. It was about synchronizing with God's wavelength...the singing was just one of the means to help me do so. And two songs came to mind, first Martin Layzell's Lost In Wonder. The title says it all, lost in wonder...when truly close to God's presence, you are truly lost in wonder of just how awesome, how great God is. Another line in the song is "...lost in, love....", nicely summarising God's sea of love for us.

The second song that came to me was none other than Matt Redman's Heart Of Worship. I could feel it there. By removing the music mentally, all I saw were several pillars light signifying spiritual connection. The singers on stage all truly made an effort to connect and reach out to God, and I finally felt comfortable enough to jump with them. I jumped, because my entire focus by then was already on God. Being the mere human being that I am, jumping around was just what I could do to express my worship to God. But of course, rest assured that I won't be jumping around in church any time too soon. It's just that I've learned something about this whole worship thing. Slowly but surely, I am beginning to piece together the little fragments of knowledge that I have regarding this whole issue of what makes a true and whole-hearted worship. It remains though, that I still have a long way to go, and I'm certainly curious as to how we're gonna be worshipping God eternally in Heaven, with "no less time to worship God than when we first started". I just can't wait to know........

PC Blues...

Yesterday, I was still happily surfing the web with my trusty ol' computer when I happened to chance upon this cool program to change the looks of Windows. So okay, I got it. I installed it. Mana tau it clashed with what I previously installed (a similar program) and through a series of wrong moves I finally managed to bring my PC to its knees.....It literally suffered a heart attack and wouldn't go beyond the first 5 minutes after starting up before hanging. Of course, being the sensible and experienced computer user that I am, I just slapped my forehead and uttered the popular catchphrase of all the computer users who are just too curious for their own good:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

For that I was forced to spend the rest of my entire evening just to get my PC back to life. Take note that it's now just barely working and needs further maintenance. This is exactly what I hate most about computers: why are they SO easy to mess up with?!!? But then again, computers are made by humans, and being the fallen people that we are, it's just normal that our 'creations' don't work properly all the time I guess. The other thing is that I'm the only one in my house with enough experience to keep the PC running clean (my sis is a casual user while my bro doesn't have that much time to maintain the PC) so I've got 'heavy responsibilities',so to speak. And my sis asks me why I bother...doh.

On a lighter note, I borrowed two cameras for my brother's graduation day and snapped some really funny pics.

No prize for guessing what happens next :D

My sis, me and my mum. Note how it says 'UM' on top of my head. Looks almost like I'm wearing a cap...

My cousin Chi Mei and her sis. Photogenic eh?

To the battle station!!!


The battle station it is!!!

On a slightly different topic, I've always wished that I had a scanner actually. Then I'd be able to edit all my drawings on the computer...Puey Guan currently has my dream workstation : a WACOM tablet (to draw directly on the PC), a scanner and ORIGINAL photoshop software. Drool drool.... but armed with a 4 megapix Canon camera, this is what I managed to cook up using an ALMOST ORIGINAL (original in every way except that I didn't pay for it) copy of an Adobe software called ImageReady. Feel free to comment XDNote: I drew this on my chemistry notes,heheh